Logos' Question About ADT and Sex

I am in my fourth month of ADT. The action of goserelin (Zoladex) on my interest in sex is like a switch being turned off. My wife's main concern was I wouldn't be interested in hugging her or being close to her. In fact, I hug her more now. I still enjoy seeing her body, but it doesn't arouse me like it used to. The same is true for Playboy pictures. I have no interest and they no longer excite me. My wife and I still have sex, but where once it was two or three times a week it is now twice a month. I don't climax during sex either. Once I tried, and made it, but it's not worth the effort because the orgasm was a big zero. I wrote her that I didn't feel like a "real" man any more, like James Bond or Hugh Hefner. She wrote back a wonderful reply:

There are plenty of “real” men running around in this world, impregnating and hurting women but there aren’t that many “good” men around. A good man is someone who is faithful and honest to his wife. A good man is someone who cherishes his wife’s feelings and thoughts inside and outside of the bedroom. A good man is someone who thinks about his family’s future and will save rather than spend. A good man is someone who spends his time with his family.

Hugh Hefner may be a “real” men but he is not a good man. It’s time that women expect more than just a “real” man from our men. It’s time we teach our sons that being a “real” man is easy and being a “good” man is difficult but worth all the effort.

Thank you for being a good man. I am a lucky woman!

My favorite simile for Heffner it that he is like Charlie the Tuna -- surrounding himself with the trappings of a class that will forever elude him. I seem to recall is was Bill Buckley or on of his crew that wrote it. Heffner has always seemed slightly pathetic and now he is old an pathetic. But, a friend who knows him tells me he is a nicer guy than you'd expect and you can still meet the most interesting people at his parties.

There have been a number of interesting studies about the ladies and high-testosterone, "bad boy" type men. The ladies have a low opinion of them in general but if you take a group of young women and show them pictures of guys to rate, the bad boys tend to me much more appealing when the women are ovulating. From an evolutionary point of view, women with a weakness for the bad boy types tend to have difficult lives themselves but they have sons who cut a wide swath through all those other women's daughters.

I've been quite libidinous for most of my life (up to my diagnosis) although I doubt that I reminded anyone of Bond and I hope I never reminded them of Heffner. I've tried, at least, to be a good man. Sexy and nice aren't mutually exclusive. A man's libido is a gift he can share with his wife, or the women in his life if he is not married. Being a nice guy kind of sucks as a consolation when it is lost.

Just throwing out ideas.