People's top 5 regrets about their lives when dying (a nurse's observations)

81, great piece.

# 2 and # 5 would have my name tag on them for sure.

#5 especially in my case.  I dealt with a "head" doctor some years ago, that told me, that I set such ridiculously strict standards and expectations on myself, far more than I expect out of anyone else in my life, that it kept me from really achieving true happiness.  And why was I so "tough" on just myself and no one else.  I didn't have an easy answer back then, and I still don't have one now.  Even in my present terrible physical condition, I still force myself  to physical and mental standards/requirements, that are not only not remotely reasonable, but wouldn't even be considered fair by any one else's standard either.  Just the way I am.  I expect a lot out of myself, so I will push and push and push, even when it makes no sense.

And yes, now is the time to consider any life changes, while we are still on this side of the grass. As they said, dead men tell no tales.

David

Post Edited (Purgatory) : 3/3/2014 11:54:17 AM (GMT-7)

"I wish I hadn't worked as hard". No wonder, this is from Australia. I ran an Australian company for 4 years and everyone was taking this to heart. They are more laid back than Californians.

They are more laid back than Californians.

I'm not sure what part of California you are referencing but Californians tend to be very driven where I live.

ed

I can understand ridiculing Greek, Italian or Spanish work ethic, but Australian?

davidg,
If I had to rank different countries on work ethic based on my experience:
Top tier: Asian countries, (China, Japan, Singapore); Germany,
2nd tier: Mexico, US, Canada
3rd tier: European countries, Australia.

The best business men are latin americans; just because they have to deal with a myriad of issues like government corruption, inflation and poor infrastructure. All the odds are stacked against them from the start.
The absolute worst workers I have encountered were the East Germans right after the unification. That system really corrupted them as they had no idea of what it was to be a productive worker.
The most productive I ever had was a plant in San Diego that had a 99% ethnic Vietnamese workforce.
In regards to the US, the most productive workers are in the South and Midwest. The least in NY/NJ and California.
These are based on my personal experience, but based on hundreds of companies I have dealt with, either managing or as a consultant and looking at years of productivity statistics and personal issues.

Im somewhat of a perfectionist myself, but discovered it is really pride in disguise. Nothing wrong with pride ceptin when the "the line" is crossed. The vibrations of the string you feel are the two particles swapping roles as the integrated psyche dictates, based on the particular context created. Purgatory you are excused from understanding this. Though soon enough an equation will be chalked up. Mel you are not excused, unless you change my grade from a 5 to a 95 on my finite math test. I mean so what I had the premise screwed up. the follow thru from the wrong premise was perfect… Lord have mercy on me, mercy me, tee hee. No response needed,but if you smile, nod your head. the little boobleheads don't count. Staap me, plz, staap me!!!

Well the 10 percent you understood Purgatory was the nut of the post. The rest was my fascination with Carl Jung, { contemporary of Freud} and quantum mechanics, addled with spirit. I get on a roll and the words create themselves. It helps me when "my" words get in the way of "me".
Your pain and suffering have certainly had no negative effect on your mind. Your writing is as lucid as it can be. I trust this is some small consolation for your trials. There is always a light, feed it…...

Logo, your conclusion of me is correct. I have said this from the start of this twisted journey. Prostate Cancer may very well take my body ultimately, the pain "devils" may torment me the days of my life, the other unknown medical woes perhaps confound me at times, but I refuse to allow any of these distractors from taking my mind. I won't and can't allow that to happen. I value my mind more than any other part of my body.

I am constantly feeding my mind with knowledge of divers manner, still do 10 or more crossword puzzles a night (I like setting a timer), and I take lower doses of strong pain meds - choosing to absorb and accept some of the pain - for the price of keeping a clear mind.

I have colleagues from my former business world, that are amazed how clear I think and my thought process in general when they find out the levels of strong pain meds that I am on. The usual reply from them, is along the lines of, if I even took one of those pills, it would put me out or knock me for a loop.

The battle to make my body strong is still on a slow downhill spiral, but I fight equally hard to strengthen my mind. And I will continue to the bitter end holding onto that part of me.

David

David, you said:

"The battle to make my body strong is still on a slow downhill spiral, but I fight equally hard to strengthen my mind. And I will continue to the bitter end holding onto that part of me."

I recently read an extraordinary book, which, as I read through its pages, reminded me of you and your situation, in a way relevant to your quote above.

The book is "Man's Search for Meaning," by Viktor Frankl, who was a distinguished Austrian psychotherapist in pre-WW2 Vienna. When the war started, being Jewish, he was seized and sent to Auschwitz, where he suffered horribly during the war, especially as he learned that his wife and parents had been killed in the camps.

But he survived the Holocaust, returned to his practice following the war, and wrote important philosophical works for several decades, including the above.

A major tenet of his work is described by his experience in the concentration camp. He came to realize that, while he had no control over the cruelty and brutality that was being forced upon him, the one thing that he did have control over was how he reacted to it.

He couldn't stop the beatings or the starvation, but there was no way that his oppressors could force him to have a particular attitude toward what was happening to him. That was his choice and his choice only.

In his own words: "… everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way." — "Man's Search for Meaning," p.65-66.

Is that not the ultimate power that each of us has in this situation? Perhaps we can't control the diagnosis, or the progression, or the pain of this disease, or of the other sufferings that we may be forced to endure, but the one thing that we can control is how we choose to react to them.

The beast can never take that away from us, and it certainly hasn’t taken that away from you.

F8,

You are taking JohnT's comments the wrong way, he said "laid back" which to us Aussies means more relaxed/casual/informal.
He wasn't criticizing Californian's work ethic. If anything JohnT was having a go at us.

Geoff

The supposed nationality related issues in this thread are not appropriate, and may get an edit.

People work within the structure they exist in, not that of another country. Those of us in the US do not work to Japanese standards, nor those of Greece.

Please remember that this site is international, and the common bond is PCa. National situations are not up for review.

142 - I was finding some of those remarks almost too stereotyped and offensive, even being an American.