My dad was diagnosed with cancer today.

You need to know at least, what the Gleason score was from the biopsy. It has to be there, as well as how many positive cores were found, and what percent of cancer was found in each core.

Any treatment decision would have to be based on that knowledge.

As for a written copy of his biopsy report, they have to give it to you.

D.

My dad will be 65 this October. He has health issues, like, glaucoma, high blood pressure. But that's it. So he's fairly healthy. He's very active and is a healthy weight. He leads an active life style despite being blind in both eyes.

I am concerned not only for his actual life, but for quality of life with any treatment he decides on.

Hi Worried.

I so wish you were not having to experience this with your dad, especially with your mom's recent passing. Please don't apologize for being stressed. You've earned the right to, honestly. I'm so very glad your dad has you and, that you have this site to turn to.

Others here are more qualified than I to help you coach your dad in speaking with his doctors. What I can relate to are all the emotions you are feeling. Right now I am rather frustrated with my loved one who is having surgery tomorrow without my knowing the time or name of his doctor. The last time I spoke with him I asked specifically to know these things before he went in. Time is ticking and as of 8pm the night before, I haven't heard a peep.

Not knowing is unacceptable for me but, I have to accept it. In addition to his pc, his former wife/ current friend and the mother of their two daughters is battling liver and colon cancer. This is also the eldest daughter's high school graduation year. For all I know her and her sister's mom may have taken a turn for the worst, while their dad prepares for surgery bearing the weight of all of their fears.

Being in the dark sucks. Finding a loving person in here who is grieving for her mom and trying to support her dad makes it suck less. I hope you didn't beat yourself up to much for crying on the phone. Tears, like people we love, don't always do what we want them to. Thank you for pushing him to get the biopsy. What a conversation that must have been. With him being old school having experienced that violation (well intended and necessary as it may be) along with your mother's recent passing, I feel I can imagine why he refuses to have another and is contemplating not treating his pc medically. Like you, he is also thinking of his quality of life.

I think its great you have a face to face visit coming up soon. Hopefully the two of you can keep the communication flowing leading up to that and after, with each of you having a chance to create new and happy memories, state how much you care for each other, as well as discuss both of your desires for how he will approach managing his health. Wherever those desires meet, I hope you will remember to seek help when you need it and, to cry and vent when you need to, no apologies.

Hi worried daughter 14, - Sorry about your Dad's situation and your concern. Following is an article I wrote about what newly diagnosed men need to find out to establish a basic understanding of their new diagnosis. I hope you find it useful in determining what basic information is needed to understand his present situation.

What EVERY newly diagnosed Prostate Cancer (PCa) patient needs to know! 
by John E. Holliday, FACMPE


When embarking on any journey and trying to determine the route you wish to take to your desired destination, you must first determine where you are NOW. Without knowing this basic information, and understanding its relevance, INFORMED decisions cannot be made and the applicable importance of gathered information remains undetermined.

First, ALL new Prostate Cancer patients should determine the basic diagnostic realities of THEIR specific disease and understand its relative significance. In my opinion, EVERY newly diagnosed PCa patient needs to gather the following data, to intelligently START your treatment considerations.

I would suggest you begin by acquiring the following diagnostic results. 



(1) What was my last PSA prior to diagnosis and what is it now. (If available, previous PSA readings with dates are helpful). Either get copies or write them down. 


(2) What is my complete GLEASON SCORE? (Primary + Secondary Gleason GRADES = Gleason SCORE) ie: (3+3)= 6, (4+3)= 7, etc. 



(3) What is the CLINICAL STAGE assigned to my Prostate Cancer? (ie: T1c, T2a, T3b, etc.) 



(4) Obtain a copy of the Pathology Report from the Biopsy, which should be available from your Physician. It can contain helpful information, now and in the future. Keep it for your records! 


These 4 items, when coupled with your age and ethnicity, will provide the BASIC information necessary to BEGIN to truly understand what the status of your disease is thought to be, at the time of your diagnosis. 



If a man has been diagnosed with early stage disease, as approximately 3 out of 4 men presenting today are, there is usually no urgent reason or necessity, to make a hurried, uninformed decision. If you feel rushed, pressured or remain uncertain as to whether you know enough to feel relatively comfortable with your treatment choice, wait until you are. However, there is no reason to unnecessarily prolong the decision making process beyond the reasonable time frame needed to acquire, and to understand, such information. Delays should NOT be the result of unwarranted procrastination. 



With this basic information, the educational learning process can begin and more INFORMED decisions are then possible."

If you do not have them now and understand their relative importance, NOW is the time to learn, BEFORE additional treatment. If you wish, I will be happy to try and educate you regarding such necessary information and their importance in making INFORMED decisions. Such decisions are the only kind you should make unless you wish to abdicate the decision making process to your Urologist, as some men do.

It is the patient, however that must live with the results of such decisions and it is better to become more knowledgeable now, before treatment, than to do so after treatment when little can be done to alter the treatment path you chosen.

Although I consider myself a well-informed layman with 30 years of daily involvement in the American Health Care System, I am NOT a Physician. Therefore, I suggest that you feel free to discuss the content of this communication with your professional advisors.

I will be happy to answer specific questions that anyone may have. - [email protected] (aka) az4peaks

Dear Worried, sorry for the bad news and we all hope for the best as you go forward. I suggest, as others have said, that you get a copy of the biopsy report and share the data with this forum so that you can get some informed feedback. Operating right away may or may not be good medicine for your dad.

It appears that you will need to get educated on our disease in order to help your father through this...that's ok...that happens many times. I'll suggest you start with the sticky thread at the top of our forum that has lots of good info for newly diagnosed patients. www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=2652250

You and dad will handle this. Take a deep breath and start studying Chances are that there are lots of options and folks on this forum will be glad to help.

Jim

Hi Worried,

Very sorry to hear about your father, but you have found one of the best sites for knowledgeable and supportive people to help you get through this. Prostate cancer or any cancer can be scary but be aaware that there have been many advances in treating prostate cancer in the last decade. Hang in there and know that you have a wealth of experience here at HW.

Best to you and your dad!!

Robert