Any Boston area MDs expert about prostate cancer & bisexual/gay men?

Maybe the issue is simply that gay men use anal sex and/or are more oral oriented and prostate cancer treatments all can have some kind of effects on this situation. I could understand the desire to see a doctor who would be more aware and comfortable discussing treatment, side effects, and method of reducing after effects of it. I agree that we should try for the best doctor who we can relate to and trust. Probably in the OP's case, he wants one who is aware of, accepting of and willing to treat the whole man in addition to being the best at what he or she does. It's his decision if he prefers comfort and trust over the best available. As such, it's not our place to question or disregard his concerns and needs.

In other words, refer to Rule 3: Respect other members' opinions regarding treatment decisions. Decisions about health and well-being are highly personal choices. We should respect all points of view. Flaming will not be tolerated.

That said, it would seem that a city the size of Boston would have a vibrant and thriving LGBT community that could offer advice and info.

I deleted my posts as they did nothing to answer any of this person's concerns.

I took the time to look up some of this and have found this information that may be eye opening to some, helpful to others.

http://prostatecanceruk.org/information/living-with-prostate-cancer/gay-and-bisexual-men

http://www.cancer-network.org/cancer_information/gay_men_and_cancer/

http://malecare.org/a-gay-mans-guide-to-prostate-cancer/

This was surprising (and led me to believe possibly they are at risk of being diagnosed at a later stage):
http://www.cancer-network.org/media/pdf/Gay_And_Bisexual_African-American_Men_Have_The_Lowest_Use_Of_Prostate_Testing.pdf

A book "Gay Men's Guide to Prostate Cancer"
http://www.amazon.com/Prostate-Journal-Psychotherapy-Monographic-Separates/dp/1560235527

http://malecare.org/gay-prostate-cancer-and-doctors/

Malecare.org has many topics regarding gay men and prostate cancer on their links on the right of the page. I will be saving these links and reading up on it to educate myself. I knew there had to be something to this....

and there is the lock...

Gunfighter, not me. I don't care what the sexual orientation of anyone besides my wife is. I think that's the entire point of what Mel is arguing, in fact. We want skill in these situations, nothing else matters.

Mel,

You are correct. There is little or nothing to add here.

The OP has not indicated that he is even a PCa patient or caregiver.

Nothing to add, nothing to post. If there are concerns about the thread, email me.

Davidg,
Yes, I locked it, and may do so again. I agree, I don't care who is working on me, so long as they are the best I can afford.

All,

Shall we leave this dormant until we get info from the OP? Yes.

Thanks Bronson.

 

That was informative.

 

Mel

gunfighter said...

I guess that I'm comfortable being prejudiced although I'm not a bigot. I would never consent to an openly gay physician performing a PCa screening test on me--my choice! Finis.
Bill

I will admit that I was one of the ones who encouraged 142 to reopen this thread. I still don't know if it was "fishy" or if the OP isn't comfortable with the direction of the thread or whatever, but obviously the OP has not returned...perhaps because there were no answers to his original question.

In any case, I have been content to let this thread die off to the back pages but I just cannot in good conscience let the above quote from Gunfighter/Bill stand w/o comment. Bill, I have a lot of respect for you but I must say that this comment is, IMHO, homophobic and inappropriate. Can you imagine a black person hearing that you would never consent to a black physician or a Vietnam vet hearing that you would never consent to a Vietnam vet physician because they are all baby killers? One can only imagine our gay members and lurkers reading your unchallenged post and wondering about your bias and that of our forum members.

In any case, if you would care to delete or reword your comments I would be happy to delete this post -- but I just could not let your words stand w/o comment.

Jim

Clock,

I think you meant to address that to Tud?

I corrected my previous comment so that it's addressed to Tudpock (Jim) rather than 142.

I probably should have just let Gunfighter speak for himself, but that phrase about being the most hateful comment really caught my attention. Certainly there's some kind of emotion to be associated with his remark, but I'm not sure that "hate" is the one. In fact, I'm pretty sure it isn't.

Gunfighter has been in a brutal war. I would ask Gunfighter if he was stuck in a foxhole, surrounded by the enemy, if he would really give a rat's ass if his brother in the foxhole with him was heterosexual or homosexual. Something tells me he wouldn't care in that circumstance.

I liken dealing with PCa as a war. You see where i'm going here.

Since "hate" is such a highly charged word...perhaps it was a bit over the top. I have edited that to "homophobic and inappropriate" (IMHO). I still don't like his post or his attitude on the subject but perhaps my edited remarks will allow my point to be made in a better manner.

In any case, I just won't sit still and ignore prejudiced racial, religious, gender or sexual orientation comments to go without comment...

Jim

I give gunfighter no credit for being honest about his bigotry. Bigotry is something to be ashamed of, not paraded openly. I will not in the future respond to his postings or emails since he obviously doesn't want the assistance of my kind.

I am so saddened by the lack of sympathy expressed towards the OP by people who have no right to a contrary opinion unless they have walked a mile in his shoes. If one can't be supportive, at least one can remain silent and have some humility about issues beyond one's experience.

The issues brought up in my gay PC support group have some overlap, but in many areas are very different than in my straight group. I'm sorry the OP and perhaps others may have been frightened off by the unsupportive attitude of some.

- Allen

Bronson, I always admire your even-tempered, thoughtful responses. I'll assume you're correct in your re-phrasing of the original post. I've been puzzled since the first time I saw it because of the heavy editing and "offensive links removed" comments that now appear there.

Still, even as a heterosexual male, I have found many "intimate things" that have needed discussion with my uro-surgeon. I have no idea what his sexual orientation is. If he's a gay man, I still expect him to provide knowledgeable answers. If he's heterosexual, same thing. He's a stranger to me except for those half hour sessions in his office and for the four hours he spent re-arranging my reproductive system. He did good work, and I couldn't care less what he does in p:his private hours.

Although I'm not gay, I share a common anatomy with those who are, so I guess I'm just naïve when I say, in all truth, that I can't understand where prostate cancer treatment becomes an issue of gay vs. straight. So, I'll just pass on that.

But, I'm upset to see words like "bigotry," "prejudice," "hate," and similar terms being tossed around here on HW. I'm also disturbed to see people now promising to no longer communicate with their HW brethren based on one remark which should be weighed in the context of dozens of caring comments. I challenge anyone here to declare that they are without prejudice in some area of life. My concern is whether they allow those prejudices to cross over into actions that are hurtful. I guess it could be argued that refusing to do business with someone because of a prejudice crosses that line, but that gets into issues so complicated that the discussion would require its own forum.

I think the Mods would do us all a favor by locking this thread, or by deleting it all the way back to he original comment. Just my opinion.

Post Edited (clocknut) : 6/16/2014 7:40:52 PM (GMT-6)