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Being Insensitve To Myself

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Posted 6/23/2014 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
There have been a number of posts where many of us have discussed the insensitive things (many times unintentional) people have said regarding our PC diagnosis.  One of my favorites has been, "Well at least you got the 'good cancer'."

Last week I learned a coworker had been diagnosed with lung cancer and apparently it is pretty aggressive. Long story but he was initially diagnosed with lung cancer in February only to be told by another  hospital that it was pneumonia a day later. Well, fast-forward to last week where he had additional test because the "pneumonia" got worse and now it is positive for lung cancer.  He is now scheduling radiation and chemo treatment.  After hearing the news last week, as strange as it may sound, my first thought was "Thank God I got the 'good cancer'."  Go figure.  Of course, my second thought was to say a prayer for him.

Posted 6/23/2014 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
The notion that prostate cancer is a "good cancer" is a contemporary gross misinterpertation of the words of PC-pioneer Dr Willett Whitmore (1917-1995; known as "the father of urological oncology"). Paraphrasing, Dr Whitmore said there are "good prostate cancers" and "bad prostate cancers."

I thank God that I got the "good prostate cancer."
Posted 6/23/2014 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
I often have trouble thinking of myself as a "cancer patient" or being a "cancer survivor." Largely because I didn't have the extreme problems that I've heard from people with other cancers (or even our brothers with aggressive or 'bad' PC). What has happened to me was a simple blip compared to others. I had a biopsy, RT and now have a very low PSA. My mother went from biopsy to grave in less than three months with pancreatic cancer. I currently know a man who is dying of colon cancer.

Nothing I went through even compares so often I don't even identify myself as having had, "cancer." Even though clinically, I did.

Andrew
Posted 6/23/2014 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Andrew, I know what you mean. I feel fine and yet I have had surgery and now face SRT starting this week. My mom started having seizures, had surgery and found she had brain cancer which had metastasized from her lungs. She started radiation on her head and never got to the chemo...she died less than six weeks later. And Jack, for that reason, like you I am glad I got the "good cancer" too!
Posted 6/23/2014 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
I've always disliked that term because it trivialized what we go through.

I have the bad PC.

But, I reluctantly have to agree. I was dx. 4 1/2 years ago. For many many cancers, that person would not be here today.

mel
Posted 6/23/2014 10:11 PM (GMT 0)
Since I had PC i've watched more than a few close friends die of Lung, pancreatic, and melanoma. Regardless of how "politically incorrect" it may sound, i'm glad I got " the good" cancer.
My best fishing buddy died yesterday of melanoma. 8 courses of chemo, 5 major operations, and two radiation treatments kept him alive for 10 years. I could have never gone through that.
Posted 6/23/2014 10:43 PM (GMT 0)
tdnjam -

My mother got the same lung cancer and when we talked about our cancers she would always tell me that she was really happy my cancer wasn't as serious as hers.

Some of us, albeit certainly not all, got the easier form of PCa to deal with. That's just the truth.

My mother lived less than a year from her diagnosis. I'm 4 years out of treatment and everybody seems to tell me not to look back.

Frankly I tell myself all the time "just wait rill you get a really bad cancer" because that is what I expect to get in the future. Just being honest.
Posted 6/23/2014 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
There are no good or bad cancers. While some cancers are more treatable than others and can be "cured", and some are non-treatable and managed until death, every single cancer sucks.

Every time I heard I had cancer and needed surgery, its hapenned twice now, my life changed more than any other single event I can remember.

Sometimes people don't know what to say so they say something they hope will be comforting. Really, there is nothing anyone can say that will help much anyway. Its a tough battle for most people to suffer any illness that could be fatal. Saying you have a good cancer ..... I don't get it. It's good NOT to have ANY cancer.
Posted 6/24/2014 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
I have the "bad" prostate cancer. GS 9, about 80% in all 12 cores.

I do thank God that He got me to the doctor when he did, and that He guided the doctors hands for the robotic surgery, and that the doc may have gotten it just in time. Clear bone and ct scans.

Although it is in my lymph system and positive margins, my PSA continues to be undetectable, I thank my God for everything!!
Posted 6/24/2014 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
Ravineman,
I don't disagree with a thing you said. If I had a choice I would have no cancer. But I don't have that choice. But since I have cancer, I am glad it is Prostate Cancer even though mine is a little more aggressive than most. I know what my relatives and friends have gone through with other type cancers and they really do seem to be much worse. And if I am not mistaken, I believe survival rates show that too. Until what happened with my coworker I had never considered there might be "good" cancers and "bad" cancers (actually the opposite) and yet that is the first thing that crossed my mind when I heard his diagnosis.
Posted 6/24/2014 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
I have the bad one.

My PSA is shooting up like a rocket, and I'm back on Lupron. The SEs came roaring back in days, not weeks. The mets are spreading like wildfire.

My travel job that I loved is gone, and I pretend all day to give a crap on a help desk line about people who make a big thing of problems I would trade them for in a heartbeat. And for less money just to keep insurance that keeps me fighting for coverage on the smallest thing.

The only reason I have time to sit and try to help here is that I have the bad one.

Use that "good cancer" line on me, not a good prognosis for the speaker.

Uro said I was lucky I got so much time out of the last round. He figures I'll be refractory in less than six months.

Anyone care to ask what I think?
Posted 6/24/2014 4:34 AM (GMT 0)
i'm really saddened to read that, 142.
Posted 6/24/2014 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
There is no good cancer. Just good results. Be Thankful for catching it in time, or having a slow growing cancer. Pray for the rest of us.

********************
Presrugery PSA 243.5
DX 10/04/2013 PSA 187.5
07/11/2013 psa 3.31
3/10/2010 psa 1.87
1/24/2006 psa .87
Biopsy 10/28/2013 4 cores positive gs 9 (4+5)
Bone Scan 12/09/2013 2 hot spots in spine
Hormone Therapy started 12/17/2013 22mg lupron, 50 mg Casodex
Bone biopsy 01/09/2013 negative
RALP 2/19/2014 Non Nerve sparing, Lymphovascular invasion
Pathology T3B NX, MX, prostate size 4.2 X 4 X 3 cm, 31 grams
Bilateral cancer found involving 6% of prostate
03/07/2013 PSA .6
05/29/2014 psa <.01
Posted 6/24/2014 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
I can empathize with both sides of the good/bad cancer argument.

For me, the attempts at containment/cure are are worse than the disease at the moment. In my darkest hours I am fearful that the SRT will not chase this thing away, and the SEs from the radiation are becoming an absolute drag. However I am blessed by a great church community, and a wife who has survived breast cancer (18 years and counting), and I have faith that the SRT will be the end of this particular chapter in my life.

When I look at what my wife went through (surgery and chemotherapy, plus 5 years on tamoxafin) my struggles are minor. When I look at what 142 & Purgatory and countless others are going thru, I am having a walk in the park.

So I count my blessings. A wise man once said, never look down on someone, unless you are helping them up. If I can help someone on their journey, whilst I am on mine, that's what I want to do, and that appears to be the overwhelming desire of the vast majority of the regular members here.

Apologies for the ramblings, the drugs to counter the radiation SE's seem to be preventing me from focussing as well as I would like.
Posted 6/24/2014 9:06 AM (GMT 0)
Whether it's good cancer or bad cancer, today I begin the next part of my journey with SRT. I don't fear the radiation treatments, except when I think about Purgatory. The unknown of surgery scared the crap out of me with that day being the most emotional day of my life. And 142 if anybody had said to me on that day, February 14, 2013, at least you have the good cancer....well, I think my emotions would have been to the point that I may have hit them or at the very least lash out at them. I guess it is one thing for me to think it about myself, it is quite another for someone else to say it to me.
Posted 6/24/2014 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
142,

Are you thinking of going the docetaxel + ADT route?

Lisa
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