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Positive result of zero libido due to lupron

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Posted 8/18/2014 9:55 PM (GMT 0)
This will be controversial!

I spent my entire life starting in my teen years being obsessed with sex to the point where over the last few years I feared I had lost my soul. Back in my 30's I cheated frequently, and have been a **** addict over the last many years. I promised God not to "do it" again but broke every promise. I grew away from the church and I was raised as a pretty strict Catholic.

Since RP, SRT and ADT, I have 100% ED and zero interest in sex. And my soul, I believe, has been saved. Not having sexual thoughts or yearnings has allowed me to focus on the really important things in life, and I thank God for the many blessings I have, notwithstanding I have stage 3 PCa. And I beg Him daily to forgive my past transgressions!

I'm happier and more serene now than I've ever been in my life.

Bob
Posted 8/19/2014 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
Bob
We all have are burdens to bear, but hopefully we somehow find forgiveness and the ability to live without shame. Glad to hear you are doing well. Peace.
Michael
Posted 8/19/2014 12:19 AM (GMT 0)
I don't think your comments are as controversial as you might think. It's quite understandable that you are relieved to be freed from the burden of living a life governed by sexual addiction. Besides, I'm just a year younger than you (oops, I need to update my profile), and I find that sex just doesn't seem as important as it was a decade or more ago, so I don't have a great sense of loss. Maybe that's what's going on with you, too. I'd probably feel differently if I were in my 40's or 50's.

I also am willing to bet that many wives are secretly relieved that their husbands have lost interest in sex either completely or to some degree.

I truly believe God is more than willing to forgive you. Now you have to forgive yourself.
Posted 8/19/2014 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
Just one step closer to understanding the meaning of life.. Don't beat yourself up, you've already been forgiven.
Posted 8/19/2014 7:12 AM (GMT 0)
I love this post. I know some won't but I don't care. Thanks for it, Bob!

I am Catholic as well and I used to post a lot about it but I don't for the sake of the site. But keep with the peace. And may peace be with you!
Posted 8/19/2014 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
From book one of Plato's Republic:

Cephalus said...
. . . I was present . . . one time when someone asked the poet Sophocles: "How are you in regard to sex, Sophocles? Can you still make love to a woman?" Hush man, the poet replied, I am very glad to have escaped from this, like a slave who has escaped from a mad and cruel master." I thought then that he was right, and I still think so, for a great peace and freedom from these things come with old age .

For those who found that master mad and cruel I share their happiness in their escape. Mine was a rather good friend from whom I have been separated by the rush of events and whom I miss. I remain hopeful that I can rejoin him in time.
Posted 8/19/2014 2:40 PM (GMT 0)
Peter, you continue to amaze me. Perfect quote, and it's a rare individual anymore who quotes from Plato!

And I too hope one day to reestablish that friendship.
Posted 8/19/2014 2:40 PM (GMT 0)
I also had sex on the brain to what I considered an annoying amount. I channeled it to an awareness of just plain animal desire so I never felt guilty about it and also, knowing that it was not really me I was able to stay faithful to my wife of 18 years pre Dx. I'm an episcopalian/Sufi so I did feel that my life would be more joyful without this annoyance. Having my testosterone flatlined by Lupron did two things for me . . . Ended that bothersome craving and proved to myself for once and all that the craving stems from the old " got to breed" animal in all of us.
Glad you have found peace, it's so much easier to find joy without that guilt nagging at you . . . Q
Posted 8/19/2014 2:57 PM (GMT 0)

Break60 said...
This will be controversial!

I spent my entire life starting in my teen years being obsessed with sex to the point where over the last few years I feared I had lost my soul. Back in my 30's I cheated frequently, and have been a **** addict over the last many years. I promised God not to "do it" again but broke every promise. I grew away from the church and I was raised as a pretty strict Catholic.

Since RP, SRT and ADT, I have 100% ED and zero interest in sex. And my soul, I believe, has been saved. Not having sexual thoughts or yearnings has allowed me to focus on the really important things in life, and I thank God for the many blessings I have, notwithstanding I have stage 3 PCa. And I beg Him daily to forgive my past transgressions!

I'm happier and more serene now than I've ever been in my life.

Bob

Good to hear and is there a significant other in your life and if so how is it working out for her?
Posted 8/19/2014 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
This thread reminds me of the 1946 film, now a Christmas classic, "It's a Wonderful Life," starring Jimmy Stewart along with numerous other stars of that era.

You've all seen the film and know the story, of course. Stewart plays George Bailey, a sort of small-town everyman who comes to a crisis in his life which tears at his very soul, until, through the help of a bumbling angel, he comes to realize the things that are truly important in his life, family and friends, and not money and power, and he is saved.

The film could actually serve as an allegory for the cancer experience. We feel lost at first, fearful, desperate to escape by any means. Then, through gaining understanding and acceptance of our situation, like George Bailey, we finally realize where our true priorities are, and should have been all along, the ones that a Higher Hand had always intended for us to have. We then accept them, and we become all the better and happier for doing so.

It looks like this is sort of what Break60 has done, to his credit.

So maybe it turns out for him, and for us, to be a "wonderful life" after all.
Posted 8/19/2014 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
..I see and hear this point well, but I add that it is a double edged sword, a two sided street. Sex is like fire, a wonderful thing if respected and controlled. If left unguarded to have its way with no boundaries it cost you pain. Sex is a gift from God to enjoy responsibly with a devoted loved one. I have abused sex, I have been ashamed. I have also tamed the sexual beast and stayed loyal to my wife for many years prior to my situation now which is of the no sexos kind. I am proud to say that my wife and I since 1987 have been enjoying that part of our relationship. We would often talk about our dealings with other women/couples who do not enjoy or have sexual relationships even married folk. I never quite understood that but life is different for many and their relationships foster according. Though, in all it's glory sex is a huge burden on life and often spins out of control rather quickly for most. Sex can be most holy if consummated through deep love and affection or can be a slave driving burden and weigh heavy on the shoulders of human beings. So there is my rendition of sex the double edged sword..
..I am young and miss my relations with my wife dearly. She is supportive and as loving as always, God I am thankful for what I still have..
....Appleseed........
Posted 8/19/2014 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
I have a different metaphor for the role of a man's sexuality. It is usually a beneficial part of the tissue of a life well lived. As a species we literally can't live without it. And as individuals, it gives us children, creates families and binds us to our wives. For couples it rewards time spent together. It is an act of pure creation; a young couple may not have two nickels to rub together, but given a little time and a bit of privacy, they can make something out of nothing that they will have for the rest of their lives. It is magical.

But it can go wrong. It has to be watched. It can grow beyond its proper boundaries, reversing many of the benefits it ought to provide -- alienating our children, weakening family ties, driving a wedge between a man and his spouse, and making their time together painful. It can also invade other parts of our lives where it properly has no role -- causing problems at work and driving away our friends.

It can, in short, become cancerous and need to be removed or contained.

Note: I am aware that this post, as worded, may seem to exclude our gay members. I am sorry. I can't make the words sing if I am too labored in their choices. I haven't forgotten you.
Posted 8/19/2014 10:32 PM (GMT 0)

PeterDisAbelard. said...
From book one of Plato's Republic:

Cephalus said...
. . . I was present . . . one time when someone asked the poet Sophocles: "How are you in regard to sex, Sophocles? Can you still make love to a woman?" Hush man, the poet replied, I am very glad to have escaped from this, like a slave who has escaped from a mad and cruel master." I thought then that he was right, and I still think so, for a great peace and freedom from these things come with old age .

For those who found that master mad and cruel I share their happiness in their escape. Mine was a rather good friend from whom I have been separated by the rush of events and whom I miss. I remain hopeful that I can rejoin him in time.

Yep, I have only lost the ability, none of the desire. I long for the old days that are probably gone for good. But if the desire goes away, I can see how I would be better off.
Posted 8/20/2014 1:39 AM (GMT 0)
Foxrun
My first and only wife and I have been married 45 years! She has no problem with me not wanting sex because she gets nothing out of it at age 68 and hasn't for ages; but if I did want it once in a blue moon she would oblige! Good girl! My problem was that she didn't satisfy me because I had ED . I needed more stimulation if you know what I mean. Now it's no longer on my mind which frankly is wonderful! When the ADT eventually wears off I'll have to deal with it but I doubt I'll ever be potent again.
Bob
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