Busy day for me at the VA tommorow, finally here

David, wow, you've really been through a lot this past week! so very sorry I'm late on here. I've had Bronchitis pretty bad was sent to pulmonary doctor and finally getting over this...Wanted to say I'm still saying prayers for you and Barbara, both! Hope your doctor can find something to give you some help... I'm afraid for you at this point of what your doctor have to talk to ypou about and I will just keep you in my prayers...
Wish I had some magical cure for you, some better words of comfort, but you've heard all that before...just take it easy and know you do have friends that care...
Many Prayers...

Good luck David, you are one brave, hardass dude.

What you are describing about seeing through the lady in front of you definitely sounds like some pressure on the optic nerve or similar. Kind of like if you blocked one eye partially, your other eye would be looking past her, but you might still see her outline, etc.....you get what I mean.
Hope you get some new answers from the recent tests!

David -

"Hypnagogic hallucinations."

The name for a condition that I came across after googling your symptoms of sensing odd smells, seeing through a person, etc., and reading some of the resulting hits.

What I read about this condition is that it can include visual and/or auditory and/or olfactory illusions that can accompany the onset of narcolepsy when a person is just about to fall asleep or wake up, illusions that can seem very real. But it can also occur, so I read, when a person is more or less awake, but is on the verge of experiencing a narcoleptic episode. There were numerous articles about this condition, two good ones being:

www.nosleeplessnights.com/hypnagogic-hallucinations/

and

www.patient.co.uk/doctor/Hypnagogic-Hallucinations.htm

Of course this condition may or may not describe what you have been experiencing, but it might be worth a look to see if it applies in your case.

You nailed it, David..."Survivors with a strong will to live".  I'm no saint for sure.  We move forward because it's the only direction God gives us=)

I am concerned about you, as always, with added symptoms.  I know that both you and your wife are exhausted.  If I could reach through cyberspace, I would wrap my arms around each of you.  I would hold y'all and tell you everything is going to be okay.  We all need to hear those words, whether we believe them or not.  We all need that comfort and support. 

I can't help but wonder about your daughter, David.  Have y'all been able to discuss the most recent tests/findings?  My email is always available.

Hugs~~Dixie

Dixie, nothing going on with my daughter, still will not talk to me period. not about my health issues, or anything else, I still have her last text to me, and I quote: "You are dead to me". yeah, that really made me feel great, not.

thanks Andrew, and squirm. never, ever had a visual before like that, only reason I didn't freak out, simply because I instantly knew it couldn't be real, so I dismissed it, thinking whatever is going on behind my eye, is putting pressure on the optic nerve, or some other nerve.

David,
I'm so sorry to read that your daughter would say something like that, esp to someone in your condition. How cruel some people can be is beyond me.

Stay strong.

It's ok, squirm, she's only hurting herself. Prior to late November, she constantly bragged to one and all how she would always be a daddy's girl. She's also at war with her younger brother since last September, refuses to speak to him, or his fairly new wife. So she has cut off almost half of her immediate family.

Diane, I remember a preaching in Texas saying many years ago, about innocence and children, saying that even a baby rattle snake is still poisonous, just not as strong, lol.

I am certain that when/if she needs something, or a big favor, it will be a horse of a different color.
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Tuesday Update

Went to PT today, very tough, B/P was 168/92, very high for me, considering they doubled my BP meds a few weeks ago. Certainly isn't weight related. Was only able to complete 1 out of 3 of my regular routines at PT, but was better than not going. Last week, had to skip it due to the Columbia VA appointment.

By the time I did PT, sat through a 45 minute legal meeting, and then spending 2 hours at the car dealing awaiting a small warranty job on my wife's car, I was totally spent. Came home, and laid down for nearly 3 hours. Up again, but still feel wore out to the bone.

Going to call the VA nurse in the morning, to see when they might get me in this week, and to update her on recent events. Despite eating 4x yesterday, managed to lose another 1 1/2 lbs. No matter what I do right now, seem incapable of gaining weight.

David, I sure hope this VA doctor gets you in to see him very quickly. With that high a blood pressure - on BP meds no less - and the fact that your kidney values are "off the charts", you have no appetite, you suffer from fatigue and weakness, etc. - you could be looking at renal failure. This is something your wife, as an experienced nurse, should be very familiar with working with an elderly population. Perhaps she can take you into the emergency room if the VA can't get you in or perhaps your oncologist can pull some strings. You must be seen - and soon - by a good doctor and get to the bottom of what is going on with your body. Please do not wait for someone else to make the decision for you as this could end up being a very serious situation.

Sorry, folks, not going to the ER, I have found most ER's are clueless with patients with complex medical histories, you are at the mercy of the doctor(s) on call. Seems like all they are interested in, is denying drug seekers access to pain pills (which isn't a plan of mine, btw).

I had that bad ER experience back in October at my local hospital, won't go again unless unconscious in an ambulance.

I am doing all that I can for myself. I have no control over the speed of things, and that's the frustrating part with all I have going on. Happy with the VA, but even my doctor there said "urgency" doesn't mean the same thing to the VA as it does to him as my doctor. He's doing the best he can to help me.

My long term PCP, that I thought so well of for 20 years, basically got frustrated and threw me under the bus late last year, as well as that neurologist that tested on me endlessly for nearly 3 months. When he couldn't find an easy answer, he dumped me like a hot coal.

As far as my daughter goes, she is nearly 34 years old, and has always been treated well by me from the day she was born. Don't know what's really going on in her head, almost like she is having delayed denial with all my medical issues, you know, out of sight, out of mind. In the past, at her own insistence, she wanted to stay in the inner loop, the one with all the nitty gritty and details. Perhaps its all become too much for her. All I will say, is she is handling it all wrong if this is the case. She barely communicates with her mother either, just a few simple texts here and there. While that situation hurts my feelings, it rather low on my list right now, got too many pressing issues going on.

Yelling and demanding service, appointments, test, etc. does not always get the desired results. Its a very complex case going on with me, with my symptoms that mock multiple diagnosis, so I know its not easy for these doctors to isolate particular portions.

I have unending patience on my end, and there's never a time that its not on my mind, looking for other ways to get the answers, and hopefully the treatments I obviously need.

I didn't like the tone of one poster here, no point spelling out names, but they obviously aren't in my shoes, so I will give them the benefit of doubt for their "good" intentions. And there's still people that know they are on my "ignore" list posting away, as I see their posts being quoted by people that aren't. That makes no sense to me, if I were in that situation, I would clearly take the hint.

Convinced that 90% of folks that write me and keep up with all this are genuinely concerned and caring, don't get me wrong, but that 10% still has a way of getting under my skin and only end up aggravating the hades out of me, but its a free country and their choice to post what they want.

Sorry, not having the most pleasant of days today, been a struggle to get any normal stuff accomplished, but as usual, refuse to lay down and give up.

Thank you, enjoylife, great name btw, I still try to enjoy what I can, when I am able to

wow, your husbands pc journey has been much more severe than mine so far, I can only offer you hope for his future as he continues.

my faith is my main anchor in a sea of uncertainties, that's for sure

david

David--

I have expunged the offending post