Father recently diagnosed. G9

Good luck on finding the balance about how much to question the medical professionals while keeping your parents in their comfort zone. Certainly doctors and other professionals are not infallible and a strong theme that runs through many threads here is the importance of being your own advocate. At the end of the day, no one cares about your health as much as you do. (Or your father in this case.) OTOH, people like us are just random people on the internet and not trained medical professionals.

But I can understand the dynamic with your parents. But learning as much as you can up front will be extremely helpful to you. I think it's great that you're in a position to help out your dad.

Thank you Tall Allen. Great advice and very much appreciated :) I will be putting forward all your suggestions. I have heard very good things about the hospital he is attending, apparently it is a place where people from all over come too. Without having to deal with cancer before I wasn't aware of this..... I am guessing they will be pretty knowledgable about all the latest treatments etc.

Chartreux, glad to head that your father is doing well, that's great news. Could I ask what stage your father was at diagnosis?
you're very right.... Our support is what is needed. Sending you a hug.

X

Kathy everyone here has posted the very best of advice!! Relax the best news was the lack of bone mets. Your Dad will be part of your lives for many years. You are educating yourself about this cancer and I firmly believe education is a must. Your Dad is very fortunate to have such a loving and caring Daughter.!
BEST of wishes to you and your Dad😊 Sue

I thought the appointment was Thursday... It's tomorrow!

Hi Peter, thank you for the advice. I am not going in with my Dad, I wish I could but he really doesn't want me to. It's been hard enough to get him to agree for my Mum and Aunty to go in with him! He just doesn't want us to get upset I guess. Anyway, they are armed with questions.... I will post later to let you know how it went.

Saying my prayers that it is as good an appointment as can be under the circumstances. I think my Mum is going to exercise some caution when there, as we don't want my Dad to start getting upset or panicking. He appears to be sooooo laid back about it. I guess that is a good thing in some ways. I know he is probably very worried inside but really, he's incredible!


Thank you xx

Thanks for your message :)

Right, he's been. I'm soooo confused!!! Just been on the phone to my Mum and am about to go to visit them now.
Apparently he was very good, very thorough. Went through all the options and has decided to reassess him on the 4 th August.

They asked about the lymph node.... Now... Here is where it is confusing. There is no lymph node involvement in the groin at all. There is one lymph node involved which is near his tummy button. Apparently this is very unusual. They aren't even sure whether it is cancerous. He wants to wait to see if it shrinks as he said the meds he is on now will cause the cancer in the prostrate to shrink. He told my parents that this will not kill him... That they could just leave it and it would not cause him any problems.

With G9, tb3 I don't know what to think?? Unless he has taken a closer look at everything and downgraded it. He also mentioned different types of radiotherapy but he did not feel it necessary right now but will reassess in August. The guy they went to see is a radiation oncologist (UK) I think that is what you call a 'medical oncologist' in the USA. Basically, his field of expertise is in radiation.

I have so many questions!!! On the one hand I'm thinking they are just leaving it as nothing can be done, on the other he was told it won't kill him. Wish I would have been allowed to go in!!!

Am off to see my Dad now, will post more later x

I know a second opinion will be suggested by you guys but I know that my parents are very happy with his treatment so far. I will mention it but I don't think they will go for it. They are feeling positive.... I feel worried sick!! I know it's all done on a person to person basis, and that is what the oncologist also said. He just did not feel radiation was needed right now. He didn't want my Dad to have to go through it unnecessarily. I do know that he is a reputable oncologist and he has treated a friend of ours successfully. I guess we have to wait and see.


Xx

Kathy,

Doug's characterization of what a MO does is a bit narrow. A MO treats more advanced forms of cancer using drugs, hormones, immunotherapy, chemotherapy, and the like. If the doctor your dad spoke to is a specialist in treating cancer with radiation then he is a Radiation Oncologist (or at least would be called one in the US.)

I'm a bit out of my depth on the distant lymph node thing. MRIs are pretty good at identifying places where there seems to be something going on but not so great at telling you what, exactly, is going on at the spots so identified. If there were a lot of sketchy-looking nodes close to his prostate then that would be pretty clear they were cancerous. But one single node so far away could easily be something else, or nothing. Waiting to see how the node reacts to the hormones may be a canny diagnostic tool... I guess... did I mention I was out of my depth?

The therapy your dad is on now will probably suffice to keep his cancer bottled up for years. If he were a bit older or were in worse health it would be clear that it would be all the treatment he would ever need. As things stand there are good arguments to be made on both sides of the argument about how aggressive it makes sense to be in his treatment. A couple of months to see how he responds to the hormones will give his doctors a bit more information and doesn't, necessarily, represent a commitment to less-aggressive treatment options later on.

Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate it.

I visited Dad today, as usual, In good form :) in my previous message I think I mentioned the consultant saying that 'this would not kill him', these were not the exact words. He said that hormones can work for years and years. He did say there are different options, one being a more aggressive approach, meaning radiotherapy (unsure which type) but he felt at this stage that it wasn't necessary and he made the decision for Dad to wait till August. If the lymph node has not shrunk, not sure if that was the word he used, but basically he meant if the injections had no effect on the lymph node near the tummy button then it's probably not related. It could even be something he has always had. He was apparently rather perplexed as he said that it was most common for the cancer to spread to the lymph nodes in the groin... I don't think he had seen this before and considered it unusual.

I'm praying it's nothing and I'm hoping that the cancer is confined to the prostate but I honestly don't know. Mum has not read up like me, it would make her more anxious, I'm the opposite! This site helps a great deal, however, knowing certain things and not having a medical background makes it all a little confusing!

He did not recommend surgery, age, other medications he takes, other conditions, risk of a number of things. He did not want to put Dad through that.

One thing I am happy about is that he apparently had a lovely manner. He was very positive, he did talk through everything with Dad to confirm he understood it all. He did mention the high grade but all in all... It's a waiting game. I guess I had kind of hoped that radiotherapy would have started, get the darn thing killed off but he's the expert. This place does have a good reputation so I'm trying my best not to second guess anything.

Oh... One more thing! My Dad's psa was 16.1, he suggested it was probably more towards 30. My Dad had been on medication which would have lowered the number. I can't remember the name of it! Finister?? It's a med they give to treat an enlarged prostate. This may explain why this wasn't picked up earlier.... However... I do feel that during his 6 monthly checks they should have been aware of this at the hospital! He did say he wanted to get the psa level down, I think he said he would be ok with it being 5... and ideally to 0. When your psa is 0 are you considered to be in remission?? Sorry if that's a really daft question, just confused! I really don't know without having been there whether a cure is possible or they are just 'controlling' it. I'm guessing the latter.

Anyway.... That's the news do far. Apologies for rambling post... Think I've repeated myself numerous times haha.


Thank you everyone. Will keep you updated. You're all in my prayers xx

Post Edited (Kathy77) : 4/7/2015 3:28:48 PM (GMT-6)