Incontinent to continent????

What's that like?

This isn't a "how long" question. Nor is it a "I used "X" of pads last week but down to "X" number of pads today!" question.

What I'm after is how was it that you experienced the process?

Was becoming continent something you consciously accomplished? Or...

Was it something that just "seemed to happen" over time...on its own? Maybe..."subconsciously"?

My brother-in-law never did one Kegal and he was fully continent from day one. He did say he could feel some cramping down there but felt it would go away after a while. (Which it did). He said it wasn't anything he actually "consciously makes happen". When he sneezes he says he has to "kinda think about how to do it".

Just curious.

I'm a lazy guy. I don't wanna walk around the rest of my life feeling like I'm having to workout down there.

I don't like working out. As a matter of fact, I don't even like working period.

Thanks
David

I guess I'm scared that if left it's left to my own devices i wont ever get better after surgery.

Please don't say, "It takes discipline!"

(My brother-in-law is the most disciplined human being I've ever known...or will ever know. And THAT'S what scares me!

Thanks

island time said...

I guess I'm scared that if left it's left to my own devices i wont ever get better after surgery.

I would think that the thought of wearing diapers for the rest of your life would help you to not be lazy. (your word ;-))

I was pretty lucky after surgery and only used a couple of diapers a day. At the first three month office visit with my surgeon, he told me he wanted me off diapers by our next meeting in three months. He said in a way that implied it was my choice.

I stopped using diapers a few days later and never looked back. So mind over matter can help - but doing kegals is still recommended.

IT, it came on gradually for me, weighing my pads and keeping a journal, I noticed the favorable trend, over weeks, not days. There was no one "ah hah" moment, where I said, geez, I'm continent! I just realized over time, that I didn't need to wear anything and since about week 5 or 6 (don't remember exactly any more) I haven't worn anything. I do have an occasional feeling of a squirt, very rare and situational, but most of the time, when it happens, and I feel my underwear, it's dry.
I am back to wearing boxers some of the time.

I know this issue is one Of your big fears. I know there are guys on here who have had permanent issues with continence. In my close circle, Friends and family, I know 4 other guys who had the surgery, all by highly experienced surgeons, all fully continent, 2 very quickly and one after about 5 months. One of them was dry from day 1 and rarely did Kegels. My surgeon said 97% of his patients are continent within one year, and his definition of continent is not having to wear anything . I don't know, but I'm guessing, these days, the stats are similar with most highly experienced surgeons, including the one you are talking to down there.
It's partly luck f the draw though, and yeah, it's a bit of a crapshoot, but with the odds stacked in your favor.

Steve n Dallas said...
He said in a way that implied it was my choice.

I stopped using diapers a few days later and never looked back. So mind over matter can help - but doing kegals is still recommended.

Thanks Steve. This is the impression I'm getting as well. The surgeon who did my brother-in-law told me "Some men figure it out sooner than others".


Prato... I know 4 men here as well. All done here as well. They're all dry.

Halbert...such specific details are good stuff!



I think i have a pretty good working concept as to what to expect. Surgeon is important. Anatomy is important. And just doing it is important.

"Down there" stuff has always played a big role in my psyche. And every tx plays on that.

I'm going to decide this week between sbrt or surgery. (Surgery date is set) pros and cons to both.

I believe I'll be continent with surgery. (But everyone does or no one would choose it! Lol).

I told my surgeon about my brother-in-law. He said "That's rare". When he said that I thought to myself, "Maybe. Maybe not. But you just made it clear you don't see it that often."

Post Edited (island time) : 10/11/2015 12:12:12 PM (GMT-6)

I come down on "do everything they tell you to do for the first six months". We are all different as are the surgeons. Some of us are unfortunately in that bad percentage who never improve. Fortunately there are slings and AUS devices for us. I have been there and done it all. Now, seven years after RP in 2008 my life is fine thank you. And yes, I am the proud owner of an AMS800 AUS and still wear one pad a day to catch the spurts and leaks. Life is good and I am as normal as any other guy. Just do what they recommend and then accept your outcome and you will be fine.

It is all a game of chance. My surgeon has done more Da Vinci surgeries than anyone in the world and I never got dry until I had an AUS installed last year. The guy who had his surgery right after me, with the same surgeon on the same day was dry in a couple of weeks.

I did hundreds of Kegels, watch what I drank, etc. etc.

An AUS is the last resort but MOST MEN do get dry within the first 90 days so just accept that when the doc read adjust your plumbing, things happen!

Small price to pay to fight PCa.

Good luck, we'll be pulling for you!!

Bill from Florida

Good for your brother-in-law if he didn't need the Kegels but I followed my doctor's advice and did them regularly. So mine was definitely conscious. And I think it helped speed up the recovery.

I can control it when sneezing (which for some reason always made me laugh when it happened) but I still have to be careful when I bend over working in the back yard or garage or at times when the belt is too tight. Eighteen months later, I still occasionally do the Kegels when I'm just laying on the couch or driving. Can't hurt.

An interesting addition is this: in the immediate post-surgery period, I didn't believe I needed cialis, as I had decent erections that weren't all that different from before surgery as a middle aged man. At my 6 month URO visit, the PA asked how things were going, and asked specifically about leakage as well as erections. She suggested I try 5 mg cialis daily for a while to see if it had an effect, and yes, it did. In both areas.

Since I've been on it, my random leakage has dropped to almost nil. I still have to do some shakin to get rid of the last drops, and when I did some air travel a few weeks ago I wore a shield because of the uncertainty of being able to get to the bathroom, but beyond that, things are better. I didn't expect that.