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Another good man lost

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Posted 10/29/2015 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
My 56-year-old brother passed away this weekend. He had been diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome last Christmas and had a bone marrow transplant in April. He was in the hospital for four months and eventually died of complications from the transplant. He left behind his wife and four teen-aged kids.

Besides his MDS, he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer about 18 months before I was. While we were close and talked about all sorts of things, interestingly he never wanted to discuss prostate cancer--I never even knew his PSA or his Gleason score, only that he was treated with IMRT in his small town in Western Michigan. Never complained, just did it--always had a cheery attitude. Ditto with the bone marrow transplant--he just kept putting one foot in front of the other until he couldn't do it anymore.

Sometimes I feel like my PC diagnosis is like a mild case of the flu compared to what my brother went through. One thing that I know is that if my cancer ever turns on me, he has taught me a lot about grace and dignity in the face of difficult odds. I'm very proud of him and miss him dearly.
Posted 10/29/2015 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
Sad news, condolences on your loss.

Andrew
Posted 10/29/2015 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry for your loss. You wrote great words about your brother. Sounds like he was a great role model for his family.
Posted 10/29/2015 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Condolences on the death of your brother.

It is a wonderful thing to be proud of your family members, and especially someone as close as your brother.

Have no doubt you will have wonderful memories of him to sustain you during the coming months and years.
Posted 10/30/2015 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
RIP brother and thank you for showing the rest of us the dignified way.
Posted 10/30/2015 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
Michael,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Four months in the hospital must have been quite an ordeal for him and his family, it's very sad that everyone had to go through that as well. Although both of you had different ways of dealing with it, you shared the ability to unflinchingly do what had to be done.

- Allen
Posted 10/30/2015 12:53 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear this Michael. This is tough. I lost my 54 year old brother 4 years ago and I still expect to see him bounding up the stairs. My prayers are with you and your family.
Jo
Posted 10/30/2015 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
Michael,
Sorry for your loss. I know that was rough for the entire family.
Posted 10/30/2015 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Michael,
So very sorry about your beloved brother. He sounds like a wonderful person and a great example for all of us.
Losing a sibling is very difficult, I speak from too much experience. I hope his suffering fades from your thoughts over time and his legacy of grace and kindness remain.
Thinking of you,
Susan
Posted 10/30/2015 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Michael,

You have my thoughts of care and sympathy right now on the loss of your brother. It sounds like you had a wonderful bond, and that he left you a legacy of important memories ...

It might be a thought that you will quietly contribute to a cancer charity of your choice, as a way to honor your brother, and also as a way to find some solace in your loss.

Remember to face forward with courage, at the same time acknowledging the lasting sense of heartfelt loss ... and somehow, in time, you will do something to honor your brother's memory ...

Meanwhile, stay connected to your friends and family members ... and I am thinking of you right now.

Caring thoughts,
Cyclone

Post Edited (ISU-CycloneFan) : 10/30/2015 6:59:35 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/30/2015 1:19 PM (GMT 0)
Michael, So sorry for your loss, but glad your experience with your brother was so good in the face of his adversity. We don't all get that experience from our loved ones. Glad you did. God bless.
Posted 10/30/2015 1:20 PM (GMT 0)
Very sorry for your loss Michael, and for your brothers suffering.
Remember, he's at peace now, keep the good memories front and center
Posted 10/30/2015 1:47 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry for your loss, Michael. Thinking of you and his immediate family at this sad time.
Posted 10/30/2015 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
Your bond with your brother was very special. Keep the good memories foremost in your mind - he would want that. He's looking down and providing you with gentle guidance through your journey. May you be comforted in knowing he is no longer in pain.
Posted 10/30/2015 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. My little brother sounds very similar - never complains, never really lets you peak inside his mind to see how he's feeling. I'm exactly the opposite. I can't imagine not having him around.
Posted 10/30/2015 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
My condolences to you and your family.
Posted 10/30/2015 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
I very much appreciate everyone's kind words. Reading through this was very helpful for me as I still try to get a grip on the last 10 months. Thank you all--this is such a helpful place.
Posted 10/30/2015 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear about your loss Michael. I lost my twin brother, also named Michael, 18 years ago and I still think of him often. I miss his little quirks and his unusual laugh. Sometimes, even after 18 years, I can get choked up thinking about him, but I can also get a big smile. I feel lucky for the time we had together. Remember the good times with your brother my friend. Take care. -JR
Posted 10/31/2015 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
" if we never meet again this side of heaven I will meet you on that beautiful shore " The King... You can not hear these words sung without sensing truth. Can't be done...even for the most hardened...
Posted 10/31/2015 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
Logo...thank you. Now I need to hear the actual song and have another cry.

Thank you for this...
Posted 11/1/2015 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
I cry daily for joy... in loss and gain...they are both impostors after all...to my view.... Oh another pov of mine... we all... every last one of us arrive at the shore...in time..out of time...at the same time..
Posted 11/1/2015 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Michael:
Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead and loving memories to forever hold in your heart. jd
Posted 11/1/2015 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Michaell,

So very sorry for you loss! Praying that you and your family have peace and enjoy the wonderful great memories of your brother!

Dave
Posted 11/1/2015 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Michael...

When I have been touched by death, I always find great comfort in the words of Henry Scott Holland; in case you don't know them I copy below. Your brother is only in the next room...

Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner

All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Death Is Nothing At All by Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918
Posted 11/1/2015 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear of the loss of your brother Michael. Your brother sounds as if he was a very courageous man.

Bill from Florida cool
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