Friday Funnies-Limericks

There once was a man from Stamboul
Who soliloquized thus to his tool
Why back in our youth
You were lewd and uncouth
But now you can't PEE you old fool
--Kurt Vonnegut in Slaughterhouse Five

Your faves?

halbert said...


And for you science geeks:

There was a young lady named Bright
Who's speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned the previous night

I love this one!

celebrate life said...
My DHs dad has a hundred of these that make me laugh til the tears roll down my leg, but they are too naughty to post. If Andrew wasn't busy walking the aisle, I'm sure he'd get an original down.
I'll give it a shot:
After the doc took my prostate
"Cialis" he said, "you must take"
But it was no joke
It got caught in my throat
And my neck was stiff for three days!

I literally snorted when I read this.

I don't have a limerick to pass on, but perhaps this will get a chuckle or two?:

"All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them."

This was sent to me by a "friend". I thought it was important enough to pass it along to the gang.

Hope you're all doing well.
Mag

Mag, good stuff. Oldies but goodies. Thanks for the chuckles.