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Posted 4/7/2016 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
For starters, today is our 42nd. wedding anniversary. Thinking back to April 6, 1974. I was still 21, wife was barely 18. Nixon still president, and end of Viet-Nam war was still one year away. Makes me feel really old.

And today, Merle Haggard died. Saw him live once in Greenville about 15 years ago, at a small club, probably less than 100 people present. Didn't realize his birth/death day same as my wedding date.

Finally. I meet with my uro/surgeon tomorrow, for pre-op briefing. Then go to hospital on Friday for pre-op. Will be operated on at the Downtown St. Francis Hospital, not the Out Patient, for the adult circumcism procedure. He insists on it being at the main hospital. Surgery now estimated to be one hour, without complications. Don't really want to do this, but no improvement in problems, getting worse, pain spreading even deeper into my lower regions. Going to be a tough recovery for at least 2 weeks, could last as much as 6 weeks.

That place on my scalp that was biopsied later last year, and finally healed up, that was the site of the mrsa infection, has grown back quickly with a vengeance. It's about as big as it was before, and it bleeds on its own every night. They said at the time, not cancerous, but I have my suspicions, as my previous porocarcinoma events did the exact same thing. After I recover from the other surgery, going back to that other doctor, and have them re-check, perhaps take another biopsy of the area.

All in all, been tough on me since last report here. Pain is worse in most areas. Had a pretty serous fall to the concrete sidewalk this past Sunday. Right leg and hip simply gave out and down I went. Was a miracle that I wasn't seriously hurt. We had just got home from being gone all weekend, and was the only time that I didn't have a cane in my hand.

Will check back again soon. Wishing everyone else the best. Haven't really had much time to lurk here recently, but will try to catch up soon.
Posted 4/7/2016 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
Happy Anniversary! Best wishes on the surgery. I know you have been through so much. Good idea to keep a watch on that scalp thing. Man that's bad about the fall.

Hag was here in Athens GA about 3-4 years ago. It's a sad day when we lose someone like that. I didn't know him but his songs were a part of my everyday life so it seems.

Thanks for checking in.
Posted 4/7/2016 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Happy Anniversary to you & the wife!

The fall sounds like a real bummer, it's hard to get used to needing the support of a cane but it sounds like it's going to be a lifesaver for you.

Best wishes on the surgery, I certainly hope it helps with the pain you're experiencing. I will keep you in mind Friday and send healing thoughts your way.

Lynnwood

Post Edited (Lynnwood) : 4/6/2016 7:04:57 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/7/2016 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
Merle Haggard is an original…was not aware of his death…Don Williams another great from a simpler time in country music… We continue to keep you in our prayers Purgatory…
Posted 4/7/2016 4:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there my friend.

As always you're in my thoughts and prayers,
Andrew
Posted 4/7/2016 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
Met with uro/surgeon today. He took the time for fully explain in graphic detail, how he will do this operation. While he has me under, he's going to attempt to break through my scarred shut bladder neck to enter my disabled bladder. He said he's going to use a lot of force, since I will not know or feel a thing. Will be doing a biopsy of material removed, due to my long and extensive cancer history. He said first 2 weeks post surgery will be tough. Going to up my pain meds to compensate for the additional pain. More than I can say for my last surgeon, back in October, when he let me suffer in extensive pain for 5 days in the hospital, despite my constant complaints to the nurse's about all the pain. I really don't want to do this, but going to have to be strong and tough it out. Was thinking back, since 2008, the only year I didn't have any operations was in 2013. Since 1999, this will make number 16 that I can remember. You never get use to it, no matter how often its done.
Posted 4/8/2016 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
Happy Anniversary! Prayers to you and those who will be caring for you. I sincerely hope and pray that your pain is less and declines quicker than predicted after your procedure.
Posted 4/8/2016 1:31 AM (GMT 0)
"Going to use a lot of force, since you won't feel a thing". I'm sorry, but that sounds like the statement of an idiot. Sure, you won't feel it *initially* as he rips thru fiber & tissue, but it's going to hurt like h3ll when you wake up and for a *long* time after.

Yikes. He'd better have lots of really good pain meds in mind!!!
Posted 4/8/2016 1:53 AM (GMT 0)
David,
Happy anniversary, keep working toward making number 50! I know you have some difficult days ahead, but you have shown us how strong you are and I feel you will be able to make it through this next round of treatment, and hopefully it will solve one problem, and give answers to others. Keeping you in our prayers.

Beachbum
Posted 4/8/2016 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
lynn, doctor said he will deaden up area with a good local before bringing me back up again, so that it won't hurt too bad for first few hours. Sorry, in these updates, I can't possibly remember everything the doctor told me. He would never be able to do half of what he wants, if I wasn't being put under completely. He's well aware how traumatized I have become to pain in general.

beachbum, thanks. just one more pathway in a long and complicated journey
Posted 4/8/2016 12:50 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, no worries, David. I tend to get angrily protective of people I care about.

He hurts you, I'll wack him!
Posted 4/8/2016 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
David, Happy (belated) anniversary and congratulations (no many in our generation have stuck with each other so long). I'm glad the surgeon is planning on checking your bladder. I hope the doc dealing with your scalp will agree to another biopsy, too. I know you're facing even rougher times in the near future. Know I'll continue praying and thinking about you. Things have been bumpy here= mother-in-law fell Feb. 29th and shattered the top of her humerus (long bone in top of arm), broke some ribs and was generally bruised up. Lay on the floor over-night (refused to push her medical alert button! stubborn woman didn't want to 'disturb' any of us at 9:30 at night......). Had to have a full shoulder replacement (after waiting 2 weeks for swelling to go down ...). Now in rehab. Hubby's PSA was up in Dec., he gets another one at the end of this month and is getting anxious. His doc wants to have him do 2 tests- one this April and one in August( unless the April one is way up) before he declares him castrate resistant. Then we have to decide where to go from there. A good friend in Pennsylvania was diagnosed with an extremely rare and virulent form of cancer of the appendix which usually attacks the entire abdomen. Now in hospital after extensive surgery (hysterectomy, pumping entire abdomen full of chemo, and other things all at once) and will be in Intensive Care for several weeks. Please add her to your prayer list. OH- and I am having to consider going to a dermatologist about a dark streak under one of my fingernails- my research on internet indicates it may be a rare, and deadly form of melanoma.... want to wait until Chuck's PSA though. Also brother-in-law (sister's hubby) has been getting PSAs ever since my husband's surgery. Had a slight increase and started getting them every six months last year. Now going up fast... been referred to same urologist as hubby. But wants to wait to do anything until they get back from a fabulous trip to Italy they have planned (he just graduated law school and passed the bar!!!) So crazy life continues......
But you and your wife remain in my prayers, as always.
Posted 4/9/2016 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
I understand, Lynn. I know you have my back. Of all my doctors, my uro (been seeing me for nearly 9 years now), is very empathetic to my woes. I will hit the six year mark of continuous chronic pain in July of this year. Hard to believe, but true. I still live around people that know me in real life, that either don't believe me, or can't comprehend how anyone can be in that level of pain full time. That's their problem, not mine. It's for them to deal with, its for me to live with the pain.

worried, wow, you have a lot going on in your world too. will remember all those you mentioned
---------------------------

Hospital Pre-op was a breeze for once. In an out in under an hour. Only hard part was drawing blood, been much more difficult the past 6 months. Took 3 attempts and 2 people to get it done today. Said all my veins are so heavily scarred, not surprised after all the testing I have been through and all the operations and procedures. This op will be #16 if I counted correctly. My file at this hospital (all of them done there) looks huge, like "War and Peace". I am too well known there with the staff.
Posted 4/9/2016 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
David,
I hope you had a good anniversary despite all of this being on your mind. I still think about your situation pretty often, I pray that your upcoming surgery will go the best it has ever gone for this surgeon and your recovery.

Yeah, Merle Haggard, I hate he is gone.

Are the good times REALLY over FOR GOOD? May it never be!
/www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxLtXJzo3Ew

Merle said...


I wish a buck was still silver
It was back when the country was strong
Back before Elvis
Before the Vietnam war came along

Before The Beatles and 'Yesterday'
When a man could still work, still would
The best of the free life behind us now
And are the good times really over for good?

Are we rolling down hill
Like a snowball headed for Hell?
With no kind of chance
For the Flag or the Liberty Bell

Wish a Ford and a Chevy
Could still last ten years, like they should
Is the best of the free life behind us now?
Are the good times really over for good?

I wish Coke was still Cola
And a joint was a bad place to be
It was back before Nixon lied to us all on TV

Before microwave ovens
When a girl could still cook and still would
The best of the free life behind us now
Are the good times really over for good?

Are we rolling down hill
Like a snowball headed for Hell?
With no kind of chance
For the Flag or the Liberty Bell

Wish a Ford and a Chevy
Could still last ten years, like they should
Is the best of the free life behind us now?
Are the good times really over for good?

Stop rolling down hill
Like a snowball headed for Hell
Stand up for the Flag
And let's all ring the Liberty Bell

Let's make a Ford and a Chevy
Still last ten years like they should
The best of the free life is still yet to come
The good times ain't over for good

Posted 4/9/2016 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
David
Happy Anniversary !!
What a blessing to be with someone who/m you love & who/m you love.

Along w/prayers I will send you strength, Patience & comfort during the procedures & recovery.Thankful your doctor addressed upping pain meds now.

It remains hard for me to believe that anyone doubts someone's pain (& why should they anyway?). & is incredulous re:your own situation. I am sorry you have this in your life. As you say, it is their problem to deal with; however, personally, I call them out, telling them I do not appreciate being called a liar so that they know how I feel about their comments. & then, I use the opportunity to remind myself of people in my life, current & past, who lived w/pain (& lack of sleep, chronic fatigue) that I did not comprehend.. Ovarian cancer, herniated discs, Arthritis & rheumatism - the longer I live, the longer the list...
Posted 4/9/2016 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
Worried about hubby

And prayers for your husband, you, & the family & friends you wrote about too.

Please consider not postponing seeing dermatologist - maybe taking a trusted friend w/you. I was honored to be that 'trusted friend' 10 years ago & that is why I am speaking up now.

May you feel comfort & peace.
Posted 4/9/2016 5:30 AM (GMT 0)
billy bob, your post makes me wish there was a "like" button here, too bad there's not. Not a huge country music fan, but had a place for merle haggard and George jones in particular. At least merle was the real thing, not a fake. I admire him for that.

diane, thanks for your words too, I know, by default, that you do understand. my trials have really made me naturally empathetic to those in pain. I can tell, these days, by the look in some one's eyes if they are hurting, kind of a mental connection. And for we that suffer "invisible" disabilities, I think we understand even more. Like when you really need a disabled parking place to function, but you see "normal" people giving you the stink eye because you look "normal" on the outside. Doesn't matter to them, that your every foot step is causing you deep pain, or the extra fatigue a further walk in the parking lot adds. I do understand.
Posted 4/9/2016 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi David

Pray that all goes well and your pain is helped.

Best wishes

Gerry
Posted 4/10/2016 5:11 AM (GMT 0)
thanks gerry
Posted 4/10/2016 5:21 PM (GMT 0)
Happy anniversary too. After that many years, you are likely in a minority, as I am at 43 years. I will be praying for you, that procedure goes really well and recovery is much quicker than expected.
Mack54
Posted 4/11/2016 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
I say old chap, dear me, you are still in the wars aren't you what!

Meanwhile, in the real world
In my own recent posts I mention that I no longer think very often about my own PCa. However, I very regularly think of you!
Let's hope that the latest actions produce answers and solutions and not just more questions!

Very best wishes Oh yes and dear me almost forgot to congratulate you and the missus on the anniversary.
Alf
Posted 4/11/2016 5:27 AM (GMT 0)
thanks to both mack and alf. alf - hadn't seen your name in a long, long time, glad you are still about doing well
Posted 4/11/2016 11:35 AM (GMT 0)
David, we are praying for you each and every day. On your postcard, I put our address as a form of communication. First off, congratulations on your wedding anniversary! Hugs to your wife for taking such good care of you. I can testify that NO wife wants to see her husband going through such severe pain! Ron says he feels "humiliated" for me to see him cry. He hides. (Ron had brain surgery 7 weeks ago.)

Yet, through it all, YOU have been a source of inspiration for him! He believes you; he understands.

WorriedaboutHubby, things have been so difficult for you! Like many, you are a caregiver who has also gone the long road of pain. I wish you better days ahead!

Diane, I like that fighting spirit you have! Mack, congratulations on 43 years! May 50 years be well into your future.
Posted 4/11/2016 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
David, prayers continue for your battle with this pain. Positive success with your surgery. [Edit: I corrected my error on dates.] >>> rolleyes

Lynn, it is good that you have that protective spirit! As our moderator, I have an irrelevant question. I have been watching David's posts. I am looking forward to the day we can celebrate 25,000! I want that post to be a positive one - full of hope! He was at 24,964 but has fallen backwards. I don't believe he has deleted 3 posts, so is this common? This is so, so silly but you don't have many people even coming close to that big mark!

David, so many of your posts were words of help, knowledge, and empathy. That is what has always made you special to so many of us! You are very often one of the people to welcome newcomers. So, please allow me this one moment of silliness.

Hugs,
Aimzee

Post Edited (Aimzee) : 4/11/2016 6:03:02 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/11/2016 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
David -Belated happy anniversary. Here's hoping for many more happy years. Also hoping for a successful surgery and an easing of your ongoing pain, hang in there, You are a inspiration to many
keep the Faith, don't ever doubt it.
With love Brother,
Dan in So Cal
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