Emotional Calm - what brought yours

To give voice for the other side of the panic of a Prostate cancer diagnosis, here is a place where we can talk about when we felt a sense of calm.

For me, two things -

By local convention, I met with the anaesthesiologist two days before the surgery. He looked like a young Ryan O'Neil, which left me oddly calm and wondering 'why aren't you in movies?'.

But a real calm settled on me when, after being admitted to my room in hospital, a nurse appeared to shave me before surgery. She was professional, purposeful and kind. I thought, 'Oh, right, this is happening'. And suddenly I was calm.

From there I was in the hands of people I trusted who are getting me to where I need to go.

writing about it.

Andrew

My faith in God!

when I talked to the point man at the radiation clinic.

My Hopkins guy and more. He is only a couple years older than me and when he said that, "...this is not something that will affect your ability to live another 40 or 50 years." That was extremely soothing and empowering. And with my numbers and Hopkins success in PCa treatment, I was, maybe not relieved, but certainly ready for battle. But I took the idea into the whole thing that I had defeated illness in the past... maybe not cancer, but that all former foes had fallen.

I also just have a type of personality where I can be beaten but not defeated. That's a Hemingway thing from the Old Man and the Sea! Ever since I was a kid... Just something innate. Crying has never "solved" anything for me. What has solved things for me is battling and following that inner voice that keeps goading me on and to do more and better. While friends were wasting away in cubicles, I was out cutting lawns, doing landscaping, and other odd jobs in my own business. Cultivated from the age of 10. It enabled me to go to night school and earn two Masters and lead the life I wanted to lead, not the 9-5 life that was being dictated to my friends. In life, that mindset, has lead me to succeed in spite of difficulty.

The breakdown about my kids not having me there for them as they approached puberty and early adulthood, was my inspiration to not feel sorry for myself and to fight whatever fight I needed to fight. But the guidance of someone I felt "knew better" than me what I was dealing with, was the icing on the cake.

I felt at peace once I made a treatment choice. And speaking of a new normal, even if things go south on me now or in the future, I really believe I'd be at peace with it.

PS If things ever do go badly for me and I start freaking out, feel free to quote this post back to me...

I'm with graytech: When the decision was made. An even better settling moment was when I went for the pre-surgery workup by the anesthesia team. The woman doing my evaluation said, "You're going to have RALP, correct?" When I said yes, she said, "I see you have Dr. Figenshau. I'll tell you what, if my husband had to have it, HE's the surgeon I'd make sure he had"

What a great, unsolicited comment.

I was diagnosed in early January. I waited another week before the Bone Scan and CT scan.

During that week, I traveled to a trade show. Had several important meetings scheduled with several of our largest suppliers. My daughter flew in to help me out, she was a godsend. All the diversions, meetings, dinners, and travel got me through the week. But, I was still very tense.

After the bone scan and CT scan were negative, Urologist gave me my first Lupron shot.

At that point, I started to calm down calm. I was starting my treatment.

Al

Mine came when I went to yearly for my PSA. When I asked my surgeon if that was too soon (2 years), he smiled and said "Stop in as often as you like--always happy to take your money".
I felt his confidence that that I was going to be OK and so far so good.

Tom

Since you asked: I requested my parish priest give me the "Anointing of the Sick" (used to be called "extreme unction"). That was a couple of days before my surgery,, but I was perfectly at ease and calm after that.

halbert said...

sheepguy said...
JamesE....do what you're told????? How paternalistic.

Actually, since James is in an NIH trial, 'doing exactly what they tell him to do" IS the right thing. Otherwise, the trial data will be less meaningful.

Agree. If he is asking them to do what they know how to do to help him, and has decided that is the right thing to do, what else is there to do other than exactly what they tell him to do?

Doc to me: "leave your catheter in 10 days(or whatever, 2 weeks, I forget the exact # now), then because you and your wife are health care pros, you can remove it at home. Same thing for your drain, remove when it is consistently less than 100 ml per day.."

Me: " shove it, doc! Stop telling me exactly what to do! I'm pulling that cath and drain as soon as I get home!"

It would be easier if I was religious. Sorry, folks, I just don't buy it.

But my brother-in-law is very religious. He got colon cancer that spread to his liver. He was very calm/unperturbed about it. They even went on vacation before he went to Mayo (hey, he made a great decision choosing Mayo). They were actually able to operate and he has been fine ever since (over 20 years!). I really admire his calmness throughout that ordeal.

For me, there was great calmness once I chose a treatment. Unfortunately, subsequent events, namely surgery and srt failing and hence continued PSA tests, HT, etc. has undercut any such calmness. I am fine between tests, until 1-2 weeks before an upcoming test.

Mel

... To continue , having a plan of a treatment even though I was in the AS catagory . It gave me a calming pease to know that I was going after this aggressively . As I say to my wife just to irrated her "get'er done "
Cmetalman