HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Does anybody else want to block the door?

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 9/17/2016 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
I am thinking that at my appointment on Tuesday with Specialist at UW Medicine I may want to move my chair in front of door so he can't leave until I get all my answers!

Anybody else try it?
Posted 9/17/2016 9:15 AM (GMT 0)
Tekton, yup!

Let's hold on to another thought: Yes, you're a member of the G9 club. You're also, at least from your post surgical PSA reading, one of those who show a strong chance of being cured by surgery.

Let us know what they say.
Posted 9/17/2016 9:44 AM (GMT 0)
Great idea! Doctors always seem to be reaching for the door knob while talking at you. I have learned more here at this forum than i ever have from docs. Good luck blocking the door and getting answers, but also be sure to check what he says with the experienced people here!
Posted 9/17/2016 10:45 AM (GMT 0)
I go in with a written list of questions, usually. When they see that, they'll typically patiently answer each one. I'm not rambling, I'm not wasting their time or mine since both are valuable. I know they're over-booked, overloaded, always in a hurry. So to be fair to them I have focused my thoughts and I'm asking specific questions.

The only time I didn't do that was my most recent appointment with a new MO, and it did not go well.

My 2nd opinion appointment is in a week, and I've already prepared my questions. They're professionals, and so am I just in a different field. We can respect each other.
Posted 9/17/2016 12:57 PM (GMT 0)
I'd second Redwing. Have questions in hand. If one can stay away for dead air and keep them talking about medicine, the visits seem to go better.

I've also found that I needed 2 appointments with each specialist. The first appoint is to give you the information from which you ask your questions. The second is to ask them.

Good luck
Posted 9/17/2016 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the responses, I tend to agree with all of you. My plan is to go in with written questions and I think the key as already stated, they are professionals and I need to act like one, even if I am only a professional dust maker.

I know Dr. Porter responded really well when I started from a list of questions with first one being "I am not going to ask you my percentages of this and that they're only guesses at this point and a waste of your time". He actually went from an expression of ok, here's another boring series of the same old question to an alert very interested Doc. It was fun to see him become very interested in my questions.

I have to admit I am spoiled, my primary doc spends 30 minutes minimum, usually 1 hour with me. She has been my Dr. for about 16 years.

All of you had really good points, thanks,
I will post how it goes.

Tekton
Posted 9/17/2016 3:27 PM (GMT 0)

bluesharp said...
". . . but also be sure to check what he says with the experienced people here!

Hear! Hear!

Even in my short PCa experience so far, I have "caught" one of the docs I met with saying things I know to not be entirely true. He was trying to convince me to follow his advice by distorting data. I just found a different doctor instead. She seems to be entirely straight with me so far, so her word is my plan.
Posted 9/17/2016 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
My experience has been that at big university teaching hospitals like UW Seattle, the doctors are professors, and are very interested in getting to the truth. I've found that if you can get them talking about their research interest, they will go on for hours if you let them. They love that stuff - that's why they do it. They also do it because they genuinely want to help patients, train students, and add to the body of knowledge. If they were in it for the money, they'd go into private practice and make a lot more. (I don't mean to imply that those in private practice are in it just for the money.)

Are you seeing Celestia Higano? I would love to pick her brain for an hour or two. She is certainly on anyone's top 10 list of MOs in the world.
Posted 9/17/2016 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tall one,
I am seeing a Dr. Andrew Hsieh. I made this appointment a few days before joining the club. I actually had it set up for after my three month follow up with Dr. Porter
UW called me and offered this time slot due to a cancellation. I jumped on it just because I am a little impatient. Will post results.
Posted 9/18/2016 5:26 AM (GMT 0)
Im pretty sure Higano is totally in research and does not see patients...Id put her in the top three...but im an excitable kind of guy...I totally had a mystical experience at the Dub...oh the stories I could tell.....Bruce Dalkin was my surgeon...not sure if he is still there...

Just read your signature...whats the link...swedish and the dub... it must be in one of your other threads
Posted 9/18/2016 5:29 AM (GMT 0)
Or maybe they are part of the Seattle Cancer
Care Alliance Anyway good luck in your recovery and all da rest...
Posted 9/18/2016 7:01 AM (GMT 0)
How I got where.....

Regular doc is Dr. Deonne Brown Benedict Private practice (Charis Family Clinic) Washington state ANRP of the year a couple of years ago, I was having huge problem urinateing. She sent me to urologist Dr. Emily Bradley Bergida who acording to one survey is #3 Urologist in Seattle. She is with Polyclinic. She did biopsy and sent me to Dr. Porter for surgery because he is the best. He is with Swedish Hospital.
Dr. Brown wanted me to pursue more opinions from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. That's how I got to Dr. Andrew Hsieh at UW he is part of SCCA.

Jeesh that's the long of it, no short. Lol
Posted 9/18/2016 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Redwing. I've learned to go in with pad and pen in hand with specific questions. I let the urologist know at the beginning I've got questions. The way I feel is its my body and prostrate cancer is serious and I want to know as much about what to plan for as possible. I've met with 8 different urologist and 4 where great in answering my questions. In regard to your leaking, you are so early so don't worry and just use your pads/depends. I leaked for 16 months and that was enough. On July 16, I had Advance Sling surgery. So far, the results are great. I haven't worn a pad or depends since. All my PSA tests have been undectable. I'm ready to start living again and forget about this monster. Oh, sex/erections still a work in progress but it doesn't leak during foreplay or orgasm. Do reach very enjoyable orgasms. Good luck and take charge of your urologist meetings. Don't leave with unanswered questions and take pad and pen. Oh I've also recorded some of my appointments with my iPhone. I always ask the urologist if they mine and they've always say its ok.
John
Posted 9/18/2016 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
A friend of mine says her goal with her and my urologist was to make him look at her directly when talking. She got him so he actually does!
Posted 9/18/2016 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Tekton,

Another strategy, if you feel you have a long "laundry list" of questions, or you are just getting started ... just ask for the "last appointment of the day" at your clinic.

By then, the waiting room is cleared out ... all the other patients are leaving ... and you can have a more in-depth, unhurried consultation with your doctor.

I've got a very compassionate oncologist --- he watches over me with great care and diligence --- I teach school, and don't like to miss time with my students --- so my oncologist actually SAVES the "last appointment of the day" for me --- I drive to the clinic at the end of the school day --- this plan works for me, and might work for you, for times when you know you need a longer consultation.

I do the same thing as a teacher, in fair return --- some parents like to stay longer and visit with me on conference nights --- so, I just save the "last appointment time" for them, knowing that they want to stay and visit longer on conference nights at school.

Just a thought to pass along --- hope you are doing well, Tekton ! See you along the trail ...

Sent with my best,
"Cyclone Fan" ~ Iowa State University
Posted 9/18/2016 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the summery Tekton...the incontinence should be short lived with a good surgeon. If you had nerve sparing ...even one bundle...at your age that will resolve also..assuming you had no ED prior to surgery...its all fixable... but it probably won't be what it was...What is??
Posted 9/20/2016 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
Looking back to when I was evaluating options, I started with a doctor who gave vague answers and was very flippant. He wanted to schedule surgery and was even trying to put me on the calendar on the first visit without letting me think about it. I wasn't comfortable and just decided to slow down. Probably not coincidentally, a few months later he left the practice in order to "join another practice in Colorado". My guess is the got rid of him.

In the meantime, I did my own research about options and a second opinion. Even with the second doctor I didn't rush in. Why do you need to get all of your answers in one visit? The first doctor's office called me like car salesmen trying to close the deal. The second one let me breathe and think through options.

If you have a doctor who won't answer all your questions and treats surgery like it's just changing a light bulb, then it's time to look elsewhere.
Posted 9/20/2016 5:35 AM (GMT 0)
Good advice...My give away on a local uro/surgeon...was when he clincally staged me wrong then said he could do the surgery in 2 weeks...this was 2weeks after biopsy...I then decided to go to UDub for surgery but much later... Being one of the few uro's on the island I did after care with him...he was cool with that...But when he left the the office for 2 hours to buy a lawn mower keeping a full office waiting and then actually confided in me when it was my turn that he did indeed do that{ i have that kind of face ...folks confide in me and I keep that confidence...but he retired now}anyway I left him...now thats a screwed up sentence...ouch!!
Posted 9/20/2016 1:32 PM (GMT 0)
I'm the kind of person that will never forget little things. With a decision this big I didn't want to do it while still having second thoughts. Where are you living? I live in Chicago suburbs and went with at dr at Northwestern. My 3 month visits are close to my office downtown so it's convenient to go before work in the morning. That's a hidden factor most people don't think about. You have to keep visiting them for years! Doctor 1 would cause work scheduling nightmares, plus the office were NEVER on time. I would sit in the waiting room for an hour. Huge pet peeve. Depending on the day of week I would have to drive to one of 3 offices they had. Dr Perry at NW is punctual EVERYTIME!
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply