Last IMRT Treatment this morning/ mixed emotions

I had my last treatment today. 39 fractions 78gy total. I'm very happy that iI don't have to dill my bladder again. Honestly the worst part of the whole deal. Oh... and the fact that it went on for 2 months.

I was more emotional than I thought I would be. I don't know if it was the fact that it was finally over, or because I wouldn't be seeing the people that cared for me every day. They are such caring people and you build a relationship with them. I truely admire those that work in the field of treating cancer patients.

But I feel a little apprehensive.... a fear. The thought went through my mind, "did they get it all".....
the thought that I wasn't able to have BRACHY. Was it enough. That's what scares me. I knew I was done with my primary therapy. Sure I have 18 months of HT left. That's when I'll know....when they let the beast go (testosterone).

I know.... be happy it's over..... Take a break from this cancer stuff....... I don't get another lupron shot until Jan. 4th. The holidays are coming!! Enjoy my family. Try to let my mind rest... that's the hard thing for me.

I am going to have a more difficult time keeping my mind off PC because today My best friend had his second PSA test in 3 weeks. It went from 7.5 to 10.5. He now has to set up an appointment with a Uro.

He and his wife have been our best support. In fact they are driving us to Seattle today so I can have the tumor in my duodenum taken out.

I'm so thankful for the support I receive here at HW.

So...today has been a mixed bag of emotion.....The "ride" continues!!!

The Artistic One - Mark

Mark

Congrats on finishing!

I was supposed to start SRT today, but the RO did not finish the planning in time.

Bobby Mac

I'm not completely successful at letting it go between checks, but it's good if you can.

My mantra is "I'm ok until I'm not ok. And even then I'll be ok.". In other words, you've done all you can do, so now it's just up to how your body, your cells, act over time. You have no control of that, and it is just not worth losing the beauty of today in fear of an unhappy tomorrow. Until something actually says you have a situation, then you simply don't. No news truly is good news.

Enjoy! You'll probably have very low PSA checks while on HT. Just enjoy life. Every day is a miracle, every day is a blessing. Don't let the dark clouds of fear block the sunshine each day offers!

I felt exactly like you did. you're right where you're supposed to be!

ed

I wish you luck artist mark-

And agree with TA, as far as I'm concerned, my cancer is cured-

Your comment about "did they get it all" struck a chord with me. I had RT as primary and my cancer returned rather quickly. For years I thought they missed something. I had evidence of spread in iliac and obturator nodes at diagnosis. My treatment was prostate and full pelvic to get the nodes. Seven years later I entered at trial at NIH that included routine scans. On the first scan I asked was there any evidence of cancer in the original area of treatment. Answer...none. However by this time I had mets in lungs and NIH scan showed mets in node between lungs. I think you can rest assured that they got it all.

Don

Hello Mark,

Glad to hear that you've completed all of that. I remember reading before you started about how you were anxious about the long-haul ahead and now here you are on the other side. I hope that now all you need to do is enjoy life with this behind you.

There are still plenty of us coming up behind you in the treatment choice and treatment regime so please do continue to keep us updated on your recovery from the treatment.

-Bill