Venting

Thomasjohn said...
So how can we vent to each other in a nice way???

I hear ya, TJ. Reading back thru all my posts in that thread, I certainly wasn't expecting to get attacked for my simple suggestion/request...a request that others here at this site have also previously made to improve the overall quality of posts. (It's true, I didn't add "please" until later; perhaps my most egregious mistake.)

(Jack, I have edited out your "suggestion" to Prato. This was trolling. Please stop it - Jim)

Post Edited (JackH) : 6/6/2017 2:36:37 PM (GMT-6)

RobLee said...
The threads that really bug me (and I don't read) are the guys who had relatively low grade PCa and are obsessed with ED.

Your comment is well-taken, RobLee. I know in some cases I've seen guys starting out their posts with a general apology...something like, "Having read about so many of the very serious advanced PC cases, I feel bad about asking this question about my ED side effects, but here I go anyhow..." It's certainly not all the time, but there's a lot of guys who do express this. Have you seen some of these, too, RobLee?

I think that this just strengthens the point that so many expert PC caregivers express about prostate cancer being 2 (or even more) very different diseases. It's a bit goofy, in that regard, that we call them all by the same name. It's going to lead to the very issue you've described. On the one hand, staying alive is the biggest issue for some people with PC (and that's a pretty darned big issue!). But on the other hand, getting an erection ends up being the biggest issue for some other men because their lives were never at risk from PC. When that's the biggest issue, it too can be a very big issue!

We do a dis-service to both ends of the disease spectrum when we blend the discussions, as exemplified in these situations. RobLee, do you agree with this?

Post Edited (JackH) : 6/6/2017 2:26:53 PM (GMT-6)

It's always a big problem when it happens to YOU, no matter what the problem is. I'm sure that for some the loss of sexual ability chips away at their very identity, perhaps as a hysterectomy would make a woman no longer able to be a mother. So I do not mean to dismiss the difficulties that this disease would cause to anyone, especially if it is their first encounter with a medical issue that causes lets say disfigurement. It can be emotionally devastating.

But I am reminded of a parable that my grandfather used to say, "I once cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet".

Venting is fine. Incivility is not fine. I suggest that anyone who finds others to be uncivil in their posts do two things: (1) alert moderators using that yellow diamond-shaped button on the upper right and (2) click on the ignore button next to it. There are some members who are habitually uncivil and I am much happier not reading anything they post. It's OK to disagree with something a person has written, but it's not OK to attack another member (ad hominem) for writing it. That is a violation of rule #3:

"3. No posts that attack, insult, flame, defame, or abuse others. Respect other members' opinions regarding treatment decisions. Decisions about health and well-being are highly personal choices. We should respect all points of view. Flaming will not be tolerated."