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Rough couple of weeks...

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Posted 11/29/2017 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
To echo a couple other recent "venting" threads...

Three weeks ago I had a really good checkup with my GP. With all that bloodwork and so on turning out stellar, I was feeling quite wonderful medically. No more doctor appointments for a long time! Headed into the Thanksgiving season feeling, well, thankful. I guess I still am, but the happiness was short-lived.

The Friday before Thanksgiving, my 86 yo dad proved he was cured of PCa by definition, by passing away from something else (a heart attack). He had heart issues a long time, so it wasn't completely unexpected. He had PCa surgery 14 years ago, with never any kind of recurrence. So, we put a couple thousand miles on the car, saw family, funeral (full military, received the flag, very moving), the whole deal, and had our Thanksgiving dinner at a truck stop on the way home.

Then yesterday, a cherished coworker, a friend, passed away from colon cancer. He went through diagnosis and treatments (surgery, chemo) a year before my whole PCa experience. We supported each other, commiserated, celebrated successes together. about a year ago he found that his cancer recurred, an ominous sign for him. As we've noted here there are no good cancers, but some are worse than others.

This one-two punch has me reeling a bit. I find myself just staring at my desk a lot, feeling rather empty. The beautiful seasonal decorations just look like a bunch of fluff and lights, meaningless.

We all face loss, this is common to the human experience, but just thought I'd share. It helps me to talk through things, and there aren't many people around me who can listen. I'll be glad to see 2017 in the rear view mirror.

Hug your family. Phone your friends. Time is short. Order the wine. Eat the dessert....
Posted 11/29/2017 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry for your losses, Redwing.
I like your advice. Especially the wine, tho I prefer to BMOB and pay the corkage fee.
Every time my wife and I go to see a new doc, she asks, hopefully, “Doctor, what about alcohol?” and every time she gets the same reply, “What about it?”
Posted 11/29/2017 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry for your losses. Even when it's expected, losing a parent and cherished friends is very painful.
Posted 11/29/2017 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
Gosh Jerry, what a bummer of a thanksgiving and start to the holidays. Please though, vent away. We all need to do it from time to time. It helps maintain our sanity. Those holiday ornaments may seem as fluff at the moment. It was the same for me after Dad passed. This is Chismas #3 since he left. The fluff has become remembrance and reminders to savor the moments. May you find the joy of the season within your heart ❤️
Posted 11/29/2017 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
You've had a rough time. Very sorry to hear about your Dad and friend. Your advice is sound though. Cherish life. Don't get cheated!

Take care.
Posted 11/29/2017 9:44 PM (GMT 0)
Redwing, I share your pain as much as a distant friend can share. One major loss is bad enough, but two so close together would shake most of us.

I, too, applaud your attitude, so please be sure to take the time to celebrate family, even if the holidays don't feel the same. Christmas is also a tough one for me. It was my dad's birthday. He's been gone just shy of 30 years now, and I still miss him.
Posted 11/29/2017 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry for your loss. May they Rest In Peace.
Posted 11/29/2017 10:18 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry for your losses, Jerry. It's never easy to lose a parent or a good friend. Thinking of you during this holiday season. Sue
Posted 11/29/2017 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
That is a one two punch. Very sorry to hear and such sad news.


Congratulations on your blood work....as obscured by clouds as it is.


I lost my dad before Christmas. It definitely changed things...

take care
Posted 11/29/2017 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
So sad to read this and I'm sorry for your loss. As you say, time with loved ones can be so short...
Posted 11/29/2017 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
condolences on your losses.

It's never easy to lose a parent or a friend.

Peace,
Andrew
Posted 11/30/2017 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Very sorry to hear about the recent loss that you suffered.
Posted 11/30/2017 1:12 AM (GMT 0)
Jerry,

I’m sorry for your recent loss. My parents are 88 and I think about that often.

A few months ago I lost a good friend to Pancreatic cancer. I keep shaking my head in disbelief that he is gone. He was one of the few of my friends that understood and cared about what I was going through...this was way before his battle. We were opposites, but we made each other laugh real hard...I met him at work.

Good words of wisdom in your final line.

Congrats on some good blood work...

The other Jerry.
Posted 11/30/2017 1:44 AM (GMT 0)
I am very sorry for your losses. It made me sad to hear your story. It's been a while since I have been on here, and your story was the first I saw. I hope the rest of 2017 is better than the past for you, or at least heads in the right direction and that you can feel a little better in 2018 and beyond.
Posted 11/30/2017 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry for your loss.

Loss is something I don't get used to.
Posted 11/30/2017 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear about your dad and friend I hope you can find some peace and comfort from your family and friends in this sad time try to think of all the good times you enjoyed with them.

Larry
Posted 11/30/2017 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
These are hard ones to suffer, and losses of this type are never easy. Its true that tough times don't last forever, and the same is true, unfortunately, for the good times. Life is fatal for us all. I have lost a few in the past few months, all my age 62 and all far too young !

I am very sorry for your losses. I hope you find a way to enjoy this holiday season, and my hope for you, me and everyone else here,is many more good years ahead.
Posted 11/30/2017 4:36 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry Jerry. You've been toughened by your life experience like so many of us here, yet it's never easy when loss happens.

I lost 2 friends to cancer in 2017, and it was a punch in the got on more levels than one. First one was sick with breast cancer for a long time, she and I went to college together, and stayed in touch, we were tight. Second one had colon cancer, like your friend. But he was diagnosed at such a late stage that he refused all treatment. He was gone in 6 weeks.

As our friend Sonny says....every day is a bonus.
Posted 11/30/2017 5:13 AM (GMT 0)
Loved ones and cherished friends are always hard to let go. I hope and pray you can find a way to fill the holes that have been left by their passing.
Posted 11/30/2017 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Redwing57 –

The closer the person, the more grievous, and often devastating, the loss.

As when I lost my own dear wife of 39 years six years ago, as I have mentioned before in threads on this forum.

All I can add to the insightful posts that have been made so far is to say that, as difficult as it all seems to you now, the passage of time truly will help. As I know from personal experience.

I also found that of all the well-intentioned things that were said to me by well-intentioned people at the time of my wife's passing, the most meaningful, as it turned out, was simply:

"You never get over it but it does get better."

"Time heals all wounds," as the saying goes. In my own case I think time has brought healing more in the form of resignation. Not one that is sad, but accepting, of the natural process of things. Acceptance of the way our lives operate, and, eventually, end.

I sincerely hope that a resolution of this sort will happen for you, and that at some final point acceptance, as it has meaning for you, will come.
Posted 11/30/2017 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
So very sorry for your losses. A few years ago, we lost my dad (lung cancer) just before Thanksgiving and a dear friend (breast cancer), just a week apart. It definitely takes the glow off the holidays.

I pray that your memories will change from pain to fondness sooner rather than later.

Donna.
Posted 11/30/2017 6:59 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry Jerry, to hear of your losses right at this time of year. It has been almost exactly 3 years since we lost our 40 year old DIA to Mesothelioma right before TG, and of course that still weighs on us at TG. And Christmas. And her birthdays, etc. Especially with our grandsons who had to go through that at ages 10 and 13. It hurts! So I can relate at least somewhat to what you are feeling, and I wish you did not have to.

But unless we simply don't love any one ( or heck, even pets! Even that loss, for many, can be rough! ), there is no way out of it, is there? We are all in the same boat. God bless you and may the rest of this season be more joyous for you and yours!
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