First follow up call

OUCH!!

Sometimes it's the doctor, but sometimes it's the support staff that just doesn't give a s hit. They sound like a nightmare.

My surgeon did not give me my path. His PA did. When I asked her how it looked....she said..."I don't know"....looked at it....and said she didn't know how to read it..so I asked her if she minded if I looked at it. "Here ya go"....I went down the list....telling my brother what was good....no SV....No epe...3/4....etc....and then I saw the margin...and looked at my brother....and said...."dam...adverse pathology. A positive margin". I was so disappointed. I was polite to the PA....but very disappointed at the same time.

That night....my surgeon calls...and says...."Got a couple things to tell ya. First off....You don't treat my staff with disrespect. The next time you do that...I'll have you thown out of the office". I began crying. I told him I was sorry....that I did not recall being disrespectful to his staff.....then he began again....and went on and on....raking me over the coals. I was literally balling into the phone like a baby because I felt *so* horrible that his PA felt disrespected. It was the night they pulled the cath that day. So...at the same time....as he was speaking....I was beginning to feel sick anyway...because....the sutures had come loose...and my abdomen was filling with urine. But...I didn't know this. I was so vulnerable. Completely alone.....at night....sitting in my room...when he was telling me these things. Then he said....."And I'll tell ya this before I go....that margin has no effect on your prognosis. None at all. So...don't come in here being all disappointed next time." I was just balling into the phone telling him...over and over...I was sooo sorry. He said...."Don't worry about it....all's forgotten as of now". and hung up.

It felt like I was starring in my own episode of the twilight zone. I've sinced learned that he did in fact call security on an 80 year old man....and had him thrown out of the office for being disrespectful to him personally for asking a question about a turp he did on him.

When he learned I was back in the hospital for acites from the loose sutures (another urologist from his office admitted me....it was after hours)....he called and told me...."You must have done something to pull them apart. What was it?" I told him maybe my recliner was too hard because it hurt for me to sit in it. He agreed that's what it was.

That drove home to me....the fact that...no one cares as much about your health as you do.

I wrote this post for any of the people who are new to this. Dont get caught up in the heat of the moment, and go blindly into the nite. Trust your instincts, if something seems wrong, it usually is. I am not bashing the medical profession, there are good, and bad..you deserve the best. I have long since given up on that office, and the center that did the procedure, but if they had done what any compassionate human being would have done, perhaps I would be in a better place today. I can also argue against myself, for the blame is on me for not demanding what I deserved. I am thankful that my primary is such a wonderful Dr. and has worked so well with me explaining what was happening to my body, and what is happening today. I dont think many Drs. understand what a person feels when they hear they have some kind of cancer, or maybe they do, and prey upon that fear, and uncertainty. Knowing that word sends shivers of dread, and an almost immediate response. We jump blindly, trusting what was said is fact. AS wasnt even mentioned in my consult, and it was only when I was adamant that I wasnt going through open surgery, that brachy was put on the table. That should have been my warning sign. So when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, get ready to draw.