Four year RP anniversary

Rob,
That's a hell of a lot going on for one family. I also sense there's plenty of resilience. I don't know what to say other than to take it a step at a time, but I figure that's what you've been doing all along.

My best hopes for good outcomes for you and your family.

Not exactly the happy anniversary you envisioned. When I attend services tomorrow I will add a prayer of healing for your family. You can Google "Mi Sheberach". Even listen to the song by Debbie Friedman. I find it very comforting.

Stay strong, RobLee!

Djin

Hey Rob, we have been through a lot over the last few years, and the surprises never end. You've handled them as well as anyone could, and without whining, getting overly self absorbed, or giving up. VERY well done.

I too miss our old hangout. It was unique and special, but life is all about change, and how we rise to the challenge.

Keep on keeping on, my friend.

Thanks Matt, Gary... I can always count on you guys for some inspiring words. Duck and Prato, you both know how it is when there's more than one cancer in the family. And Bucks - thank you for your prayers, and as you also replied to my earlier post recently. I'm curious... which Bucks? Buccaneers or Buckeyes? (or neither). Djin and Cyclone, thank you for your words of strength.

MK - yes, I remember your ordeal, the bitterness that you harbored after your RP and the resentment toward your wife. I have had to deal with some of the same emotions. Hopefully you have risen above that to some extent by now. It took me many years, and yet still find myself slipping back into the occasional "why me" pity party. I've learned to divert my thoughts away from triggering thoughts.

But what has helped me the most, personally, is that I now know "why me". It was to prepare myself for what was yet to come. After the emotional shock of my wife's diagnosis, and the trauma that I experienced with the AUS (yes, I question the surgeon's abilities) I was on the verge of collapse. But stuff kept happening. And I had to keep going.

Just when we thought 2020 might be a good year, our older son was diagnosed with T-cell acute leukemia, just before COVID hit. And we were unable to be with him. I think because this was like my nineteenth nervous breakdown, we handled it surprisingly well. So when our other son was found to have small bowel adenocarcinoma in late June, it seemed like just another situation normal (all F'd up). As he himself said, "it's just my luck".

So we've come to roll with the punches. People ask what "we" did that all four of us ended up with cancer. Ouch. But I think if my PCa had been found earlier and treated easily... as happens with most guys with PCa, I would have never been prepared for the upcoming encounters. It toughened me up. If my experience had been any easier, I would not have been able to be strong for my family.

I hope that you, like others who had "less than straightforward" cancer experience, can find some goodness beneath it all. Finding a REASON for your suffering makes it immensely easier to bear.

I'll be back again when I know more from my wife's biopsy tomorrow. Thanks for putting up with me everyone

Rob, the Bucs are in Tampa and The Bucks are in Cbus, home of THE Ohio State University. My wife attended there & I graduated from there back in the last century. My 3 kids graduated from there in this century. Good luck with the scans.

Like Cyclone, I have to reiterate the One Day at a Time concept as well as living in the present while you go though your journey. Best of luck to you and yours!

GoBucks said...
Rob, the Bucs are in Tampa and The Bucks are in Cbus, home of THE Ohio State University. My wife attended there & I graduated from there back in the last century. My 3 kids graduated from there in this century. Good luck with the scans.

Thanks! Reason I asked is that we are native Ohioans and now live in the Tampa Bay area. My wife is from Cols, and both she and our older son are OSU grads (they are the ones with blood cancers). Our younger son and I are UC Bearcat grads, though we don't follow sports. But both of us ended up having small bowel resections. Was it something in the water? Genetically, our younger son's medical problems appear to come from my wife's father. And though my brother had leukemia, our older son's oncologist assures us that it is not a hereditary disease.

My grandfather died in 1963 after a long battle with prostate cancer, so I had advised both of my sons to begin PSA testing in their forties. But who would have guessed that they would end up with entirely different cancers, in their early thirties? It's a wicked game.

Thank you Larry, Gary, and Gear (betcha thought I was gonna say Larry, Moe and Curly) for your words of encouragement. Especially for reminding me that I don't whine TOO much.