Orgasms After Prostatectomy

JP.

Welcome.
Ask your doc about it. Sounds likje a cop out, but you could almost say that on HW, the number one Rule round here for all problems, complaints, aches, discomfort, pain etc (regardless of how embarrassing or awkward) is to talk to your doctor, surgeon, physician GP or nurse or some appropriate expert who knows the most about your situation.

HW folk's replies are though likely to be full of empathy, eg I myself can imagine your pain given orgasms and ********** after my surgery could sometimes be excrutiatingly painful, even a couple of years or more later, and often just at a moment when you least wanted things to be painful.

I know it's not the greatest conversation to have to have with a doc, given it's about something intimate and private, especially if you've known the doc a long time. I count myself lucky in this area, as I live in the Netherlands where there is a good deal less awkwardness about talking about sex with health professioinals - indeed they were the ones who broguth up the subject of ********** before I could!), However, wherever you live, I suggest you "bite the bullet" and talk, as who knows they may be able to provide a simple quick solution.

HW replies are also likely to contaion a few tips and mine is that you might wamnt to try looking at the Yana website, which contains discussions about matters of a sexual nature and deals with things a bit more explicitly that here at HW, you might find something helpful there.

Try the discussions page here:

pub2.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=154144579&frmid=42&msgid=0

and then enter "orgasm" in the search bar and I think you will find a number of threads about painful orgasms in the list.

Hope the pains stop very soon.

Alf

I'm almost 14 months post-surgery now. My sexual health has continued to improve steadily. I saw a great improvement in strength of erections and sensitivity at about nine months, using Viagra and a Vacuum Pump. At 13 months post-surgery I saw a HUGE increase in strength of erections and sensitivity. It was like the nerves suddenly woke up/regenerated/came back to life. The strength of my orgasms are all of a sudden similar to what I experienced in my twenty's which sounds crazy but is true. I have even had several night time erections with no Viagra or Cialis. I have worked very hard at this and I am fortunate to have a very willing and loving wife. I have had sex a minimum of twice a week for the past year - not always great for her, but great for me. Some times, early on it was down right discouraging. I alternate using Viagra and Cialis. Both seem to work very well. I use a vacuum pump to aid in the stimulation and to exercise the penis and believe this helps tremendously. Just like any other parts of our bodies, the more we exercise them, the stronger they become. I also believe that regular exercise since surgery has also aided in my recovery and I still continue to do my Kegels daily. Hope this helps someone who may be discouraged. What sex after prostatectomy will be like, or if it will even be possible, is always a very daunting issue for anyone facing the situation. I feel very fortunate that mine has gone this well and realize that everyone's does not. I'm also encouraged by the fact that sexual health continues to improve for up to three plus years following surgery according to my Urologist.

Great post Willie, thanks for sharing, and giving hope to many guys who may be struggling with this issue soon after surgery.

MK,
The next entry on your agenda is to look into a penile prosthesis. They work well and guys who get them are generally satisfied -- after a few weeks of grouchiness because they are sure they remember being bigger than that.

You've mentioned stress incontinence; how bad is it? I had an artificial sphincter put in at the same time as the penile prosthesis. The prosthesis works great ... the AUS helps bit isn't what I had hoped.

An inflatable penile prosthesis doesn't make you 18 again but you do get to stop worrying about your erection so you can get on with whatever you were planning to do if your flaccid member had cooperated.

MK,

Sorry about that. I skimmed your last few postings (you can find links to a members last 50 posts in his or her member profile) just to remind myself where you are. Somehow I managed to miss the "IPP" in your signature.

Now, of course, I am a bit gun shy about asking more questions and seeming even dimmer than I already do. But I will soldier on. Have we already talked about anorgasmia as a drug side effect? SSRI antidepressants (Prozac and company) are terrible in that regard. Men on Prozac are something like seven times as likely to be unable to achieve orgasm as other men their age.

I did a bit of Googling to see if there was anything new since the last time I checked. I found a few papers and articles (helpful search terms are "anorgasmia" combined with various combinations of "prolactin" and "SSRI" and "cabergoline") and I thought about posting some links but I have finally decided to let you do your own search if you are interested.

I will post a link to a slide set that Dr. Alexander W. Pastuszak probably uses for a lecture entitled Male Anorgasmia: From “No” to “Go!”. It offers a fairly good overview of the topic but mostly because I love the slide on page 5 that features a disembodied brain, spinal cord, and penis. It reminds me of the old British science fiction film "The Fiend Without a Face" that features stop-motion brains and spinal cords inch-worming around the laboratory ... if it had been a soft-core adult film.

That slide set Male Anorgasmia: From “No” to “Go!"

Fiend Without a Face (fan trailer) Fiend Without a Face Trailer

Yes, I'd be the first to say sex without a prostate is about as much fun as sex during oral surgery.

FB, first off, so sorry to hear of your loss-Parkinson's is a miserable thing to both live with and watch. For the rest, best of luck to you!

Could very well be age -- I'm 74 and very healthy otherwise.
Could also be a side effect of losing my girlfriend of 30 years
early August 2020 (she had numerous complaints, the last
being aortic dissection, from which she died). Before that
I could ********* to dry orgasm. Lower libido is a distinct
possibility.

I'll add a signature, Pratoman!

Sorry to hear Bookman. I too, lost a significant other of 5 years during RALP. Multiple loses can be a handful...sorting the grief and processing the feelings. And to get to a place to where one becomes ready and able to re-engage life again can be an overwhelming challenge.

What I am about to say now, is either 100% unique to my own psyche or, others have it to some extent as well...and just don’t discuss it. In case of the latter...here it is....

Every bit of this stuff absolutely freaks me out. This is my manhood, what women think about me (at least in my own head), others being involved in something that is just about as private and intimate as it gets. It’s been a daughting (and somewhat haunting) experience for me. We’re talking about a level of intimacy about my body that even I shutter to entertain the confront. For me, I don’t believe the term “life altering” is too strong a term for these challenges. In laymen’s terms, “I just can’t stand the though of anything going wrong “down there’”.

It been several years since my RALP. (6?). I’m just now beginning to accept and confront the demon that PCa has wrought against my core as a man...the very definition os what it means to me to be a man. To identify as a worthy man.

During the last year, I have been removed enough, and gained enough perspective on my situation, that I’ve begun to really confront all of this head on. To see, “what am I? And what aren’t I?” I’m filling my Viagra regularly now. Not only filling it but, USING IT on a regular basis. What I’m finding is...while I’m not 50 years old anymore...I still have some left in the tank. And I’m finding pleasure in what I am and am not. And I’m much more comfortable in learning about “what I’ve got and what I don’t”.

What I’m finding is...there’s more in the tank than my fear would allow me to know. My hope is...it will be the same for you. Do not, for one second, buy into the belief that “what I am I will always be.l.

It just ain’t true. It’s a journey. Don’t stop.

PeterDisAbelard,

You asked if I'm taking SSRIs. No, the only prescription medicine I'm on is levothyroxine and, as needed, trospium
(for an overactive bladder). Slight progress with anorgasmia. It helps to get in the right mood!

I was on fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Paxil) maybe 15 years ago. That problem completely solved.

Flying Bookman

werideatdawn,

My radical prostatectomy was about 2 1/2 years ago.

Your post is heartening to me. The New Yorker magazine (Oct. 5, 2020 issue) article "Three Fathers," by Ann Patchett, page 18, had a similar, liberating effect on me. Patchett's three fathers were a product of her mother's three divorces. She related well to the three fathers. Yet each had different expectations and hopes for her, what they wanted her to achieve and be in life. These expectations weren't congruent, she could hardly satisfy all and still do what she wanted. The lesson for me is to accept what I am and what I am becoming (thanks to prostatectomy and the death of my girlfriend of 35 years), accept my feelings and rejoice that I can feel.

island time said...
A 100% anecdotal, sample size study of one....

For me, ease of “the big event” seems to be related to the amount of sildenafil taken.

The higher the dosage, the more difficult to my destination.

If I take just enough to achieve a firm erection...and no more...the orgasm seems easier to achieve. And it doesn’t take a lot more than is absolutely necessary for it to make a very noticeable (and frustrating) difference. We’re talking just a mg or two to much can have a very noticeable effect.

YMMV
Now...back to more family oriented entertainment.

So do i understand correctly that you are saying less is more?

I have an IPP and my orgasm is just sort of a wash over. I get there and it is done. Nothing like before RP three years ago.