Friday joke: A pastor, a priest and a rabbi are in a boat fishing on a lake ...

Customer to Waiter: Do you have frog legs?
Waiter: No, I have always walked this way!

Anthony's social gaffe on a first date at a nice restaurant:

Sofie stated charmingly to Anthony:

"I'm SO glad you asked me out. I have been looking forward to this all week. It really has been a wonderful evening. I loved dining at this restaurant. We should have dinner again, Anthony."

Anthony replied, "Oh ... again?!? I'm already really full."

CYCLONE ~ # Iowa State University

Date night went from bad to worse, for poor Anthony ...

As they said goodbye at Sofie's front door, Anthony's heart leapt with excitement when Sofie invited him in for a nightcap.

He never dreamed their first date would get to this step!

Once inside, Sofie poured & stirred a drink for Anthony and Sofie & Anthony sat side-by-side on the loveseat. Suddenly, Anthony felt incredibly drowsy, as conversation continued.

Sofie confided, "I feel SO safe and secure with you, Anthony! Nowadays, a young lady has to be wary of unsavory characters when dating. You just never know! Thanks for being such a trustworthy & honorable fellow. I hope you like the special drink I just mixed for you tonight. I mean, after all, Anthony, what ARE the chances that BOTH of us would end up to be serial killers with a knowledge of untraceable poisons?!!"

CYCLONE ~ # Iowa State University

Post Edited (Cyclone-ISU) : 3/25/2023 5:59:39 AM (GMT-8)

Sofie to Anthony: Anthony, would you like to lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Anthony to Sofie: sure
Sofie to Anthony: try cutting off your head!

Wow. I guess that's teamwork. And Sophie, good comeback for Anthony's inept sweat comment!

While on safari, Ted noticed a LIZARD, standing up on its hind legs, telling jokes to passersby along the safari trail in the jungle.

Ted said to the safari guide, "Hey! Let's take a break and watch the show! These jokes are hilarious!"

The trail guide rolled his eyes, and said to Ted, "Don't you know? That's NOT a lizard that's telling jokes here in the jungle. It's a well-known stand-up chameleon!"

☺ CYCLONE ~ # ISU

"The frog said, well are you going to kiss me? The man looked at the frog, and said no, at my age I would rather have a talking frog!"

I would change that to ......and said no, I'm on Lupron and abiraterone so I'd rather have a talking frog.

Here's a groaner to pass along ...

We've all been hearing about the spectacular NORTHERN LIGHTS display in the night sky ...

Turns out my old friend Rory was obsessed with the light show so much that he talked endlessly to his girlfriend Alice about the celestial phenomenon, until Alice dozed off in a disinterested state.

It was, indeed, a case of "A RORY BORING ALICE!"

CYCLONE ~ # ISU

I was at the store today looking for some Christmas gifts and asked the associate if they had any Arnold Schwarzenegger toys. "Yes, she replied. "Aisle B, back"

The 3 stages of married sex:

1. "Kitchen Sex": as newlyweds, you can't keep your hands off each other, so you have sex a lot, and pretty much anywhere, anytime the mood strikes.

2. "Married with Children": Late at night, behind a locked door, making as little noise as possible.

3. "Hall Sex": You pass each other in the hall and say "**** you"

Hal, that was good, made me laugh out loud. Partly because its true, LOL

Steve n Dallas -

For some reason your post reminds me of an old song:

"Is That All There Is?"
(Peggy Lee, 1969)

Lyrics:

I remember when I was a little girl, our house caught on fire
I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up
In his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement
And I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames
And when it was all over I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a fire"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

And when I was 12 years old, my daddy took me to the circus, the greatest show on earth
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears
And a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads
And so I sat there watching
I had the feeling that something was missing
I don't know what, but when it was over
I said to myself, "is that all there is to the circus?

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

And then I fell in love
With the most wonderful boy in the world
We would take long walks by the river or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes
We were so very much in love
Then one day he went away and I thought I'd die, but I didn't
And when I didn't I said to myself, "Is that all there is to love?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

I know what you must be saying to yourselves
If that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?
Oh, no, not me. I'm not ready for that final disappointment
Because I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you
When that final moment comes and I'm breathing my last breath, I'll be saying to myself

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=the+song+is+that+all+there+is&mid=3fa3f78d2981372ba7883fa3f78d2981372ba788&form=vire

I got the Sunday morning blues, I guess.

But, hey, it's Christmas season, time to be jolly!

There will be plenty of other times to wonder if that's all there is, my friends.