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Friday joke (Feb. 2)

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Posted 2/2/2024 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
(A joke about feeling younger than one actually looks).

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his degree on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school some 25 or so years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired old guy with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

But after he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the same school as mine.

"Why, yes, I did.” he said with surprise.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

"In 1999. Why do you ask?"

"I was there at the same time!!!!", I happily exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then that old, bald, wrinkled face asked:

"What subject did you teach?"
Posted 2/2/2024 2:29 PM (GMT 0)
Made my morning. Thanks.
Posted 2/2/2024 5:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hopefully his hands are still steady...
Posted 2/3/2024 7:16 AM (GMT 0)
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love...

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's gone.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..
How soon can I go home?'
Posted 2/4/2024 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
Went swimming yesterday over at the YMCA center ( heated pool ) and
took a pee in the deep end....

Lifeguard noticed. Blew his freaking whistle so loud I almost fell in.
Posted 2/4/2024 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
The Penis Poem–by Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I’ve got a full time job,
To find the gosh darn thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
Posted 2/4/2024 9:19 PM (GMT 0)

Sr Sailor said...
Hopefully his hands are still steady...

For generations the English royals have been saying the same thing about the mohels who do all the princes' circumcisions.
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