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Posted 11/2/2006 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
I had the "da Vinci"  "Robotic Laparoscopic Nerve Sparing" surgery procedure on Aug 11, 2006 (12 weeks ago).   I'm doing great in the continence dept.   My question concerns erections. Dr has me taking small doses of Cialis and I’m also using Vacuum Pump therapy. Erections come with the pump but limp (not stiff). There’s no sign of an erection when viewing erotic pictures or when my wife tries to bring it on.   What experiences have some of you had at? 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months?   I’m 66 (birthday yesterday).   Mike C
Posted 11/3/2006 1:38 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Mike C,

I can't comment on the Da Vinci procedure because we had the open Radical.  It seems though that no matter what procedure anyone's had, return of both erections and continence differ greatly, even with the same procedure.  We are just over 3 months out and while the erections are coming along nicely with just viagra, we are still working on the stress continence.  Someone said it earlier on another post:  patience, patience, practice, practice (and I'll add kegel, kegel)!

I have read that erections can take 18 months to 2 years to come back.  Hopefully it won't take that long.  Just hang in there and don't give up.

Posted 11/3/2006 1:18 PM (GMT 0)
happy birthday Mike,

everyone keeps telling us to be patient. if anything is happening down there, they say it will come back eventually. Jeff is taking cialis and will talk with his doctor about the pump in a few weeks. he has not had an erection but does have some thickening and lengthening. there is hope for all of us!!!

kat
Posted 11/3/2006 4:06 PM (GMT 0)
Mike,

My surgery is actually more recent than yours (Spet 13th) and I have had stirrings, and minor lengthening, but nothing yet I could call an erection. I just started yesterday taking Muse (inter-urethral tiny pill, not the shots) everyday as part of a clinical study and will have to wait to see what that does. I did notice more bulging just from the small dose yesterday so I have hopes.

Not discouraged though. I am sure it will come and am just giving it time now.

The doctor commented yesterday that I have two out of three (zero PSA and basically total continence) so now we just wait for number three!
Posted 11/3/2006 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
I have been taking Viagra. 1/4 25 mgs for 5 days than 100mgs then 25 mgs 5 days than 100 mgs 1 day. Well they gave me 4 pills so that lasts 10 days. Now my Pharmacy tells me I am ordering more too soon. I run out tonight. I can buy the 4 pills for $51.00 but I said no thanks I got them last time for 15.00. Blankety Blank Insurance. I guess I have to talk with them. Shepla
Posted 11/3/2006 5:44 PM (GMT 0)
Shepla,
Unfortuantely insurance companies are in control of the situation. Until the Urology profession can run studies to prove PDE5 drugs usefullness then present it to the FDA for approval as a erectile recovery drug....it's a pain in the pocket book for all of us. Try alldaychemist.com I think you will like their prices much better. Paul has great success with the Levitra and about the same as he always had with the Viagra. It's a site several others on another forum use and so far...we agree. Give me a private post, Okay?
[email protected]

Vickie (aka. Swim)
Posted 11/4/2006 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
Anybody know about the Generic Viagra. I have a friend that has been using it and he says it is just as good as the viagra. He says the pills are made in India and cost less than $2.00 each. Anybody know about this?

Posted 11/4/2006 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
DWT has been taking Cialis every other day. First time he got sick as a dog. Now he has very bad heartburn and stomach aches. When asking the docs about it, we ar told take tums. I have ordered from the allday website haven't received the order yet. Viagra and Levitra to try. Cialis hasn't help with anything, erection or length. It's crazy to take something for one problem and get another in return. What ever the docs tell one about erections, etc. I now realize that if they would tell you the truth (that it will take a long time) I think we would run for the hills. It's true everyone recovers differently but for most its NADA. I am as a wife am getting a little impatient, I will not deny it.

There is nothing that replaces the real thing. Oh well, there is always Playgirl and dreams.

SL

Posted 11/4/2006 3:31 AM (GMT 0)

I'm taking Levitra.  No erections yet, but my urologist counsels patience.  My wife and I are not happy about the situation, but we're ecstatic that the cancer is gone and continence has returned.  Time takes time.

Posted 11/4/2006 4:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hey TimG,
How long since surgery?
open or Robotic Laparoscopic?

Mike C
Posted 11/4/2006 5:28 AM (GMT 0)
open surgery on 6/21/06
Posted 11/4/2006 5:57 AM (GMT 0)
I'm just happy to have my husband cancer free...everything else will come when it comes and is not a 10th as important as having him healthy again!!

Posted 11/4/2006 6:00 AM (GMT 0)
My hubby had his RRP 5 mo ago and still no return of erectile function. Vacuum works but such a hassle that it's difficult to comply with. None of the meds have produced any results - so it's hard to consider spending big money on the meds for ED rehab when there are no results. (He would gladly pay the price if it seemed worthwhile.) I know it takes time, but we are at a down point and discouraged. Almost like, well if we don't try then we won't be disappointed- ya know?  As TimG mentioned, however, we are thankful to be cancer-free and having a reasonable return to dryness. 

LW

Posted 11/4/2006 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Loving wife,

I'm only 3 months post surgery.
Dr has me on small doses of Cialis and using a vacuum pump.
Erections come with the pump but limp (not stiff).
There’s no sign of an erection when viewing erotic pictures or when my wife tries to bring it on.
Everyone tells me it'll take in excess of 9 months (6 more).

On a positive note:
I've climaxed (without penatration and no ejaculation).
(I didn't believe it would be possible.) I was happy about that :-)

I got my wife to climax using my hand/fingers (she was happy about that :-) :-)).
I'm positive all will work correctly eventually

In case you're interested, here's the other string so you don't need to search:
https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&p=1&m=614904#m640995

DON'T STOP TRYING! Make a game of it.
As hard as it may be (no pun intended) try to have fun with it.

Mike C (in Milwaukee)
Age 66
"da Vinci" Robotic Laparoscopic August,11 2006
Pathological Stage T2a
Gleason 3+4=7
Cancer contained in prostate
Post surgury PSA - Will find out on 11-20-06
Posted 11/4/2006 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe it will come back, maybe it will not. If sex has always been an important part of your live, the lack of it is very devastating. DW is now in the phase of not wanting to even try. He loves his climax, that's for sure, but is starting to even shy away from it. I believe he is so very disappointed in not being able to have an erection. This is not what we had been lead to believe. HIFU is to have less than 1% of ED. Guess we caught the 1% train. Even me, who seldom gives up, don't want to "fool" around with DW it's a lot of work for me and I seldom get any pleasure out of it. It's great that DW may have gotten rid of PCa (we will not know until end of year) and that he is totally continent. The rest however isn't good and becoming a constant irritant to us. What to do? Pump is out so are shots, we both don't want this. So we'll have to wait and see. Maybe once the Viagra, etc. arrives it will help.
Can't believe that there no other wives out there that feel frustrated and disappointed in that department. If in 4 years from now 50% of all 40 + year old men have their prostrate removed due to PCa (as the research stated that I read not to long ago) what will we women do?????????????? Start biting our fingernails or invent new toys?
SL
Posted 11/4/2006 11:37 PM (GMT 0)

SL:

I read your post just now.  I've also read your posts in the past.  I recognize you are distraught; however, you often sound as if the world is coming to an end.  It is not.  DW had his HIFU not long ago.  He is 100% continent (accomplished Goal Two).  He apparently is awaiting an answer to Goal One (cancer cure) end of the year (which is not far off), and he's still working on Goal Three.  So are a lot of us out here.  And by the way, there's a reason why it is Goal Three rather than Goals One and Two.

You've got to get a grip.  Remember, not everything you read on the internet is authoritative.  Certain procedures cause trauma to nerves that take time to heal.  You and DW have got to have some patience.  If you can't handle the situation, you need to seek professional help.

I have confidence in time DW will reach Goal Three.

Posted 11/5/2006 12:10 AM (GMT 0)

Intimacy, as we are learning, is much more than the sex act.  It is richer, deeper, more satisifying than the merely physical.  Surviving cancer has drawn us together in ways we could not have imagined.  Yes, we are looking forward to resuming normal sexual relations in the future, but it is not the only thing that is important to us.

Posted 11/5/2006 6:11 AM (GMT 0)
TimG,

Amen to that.  You are so right.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Having Curtis well and with me is more important than mere sex!!   We've gotten much closer since we found he had PC and intimacy is a big part of it.  We'll be married 40 years December 3rd and I'm just thankful that we have each other to love.

Posted 11/6/2006 7:18 AM (GMT 0)

SL - It's obvious you are missing sex, but instead of thinking of inventing toys - maybe you could try reinventing whatever it was that made you fall in love with your husband.  I mean no disrespect to you, really I don't.... but I sometimes I cringe when I read some of your posts because they can seem rather cold. 

My feeling is not, never has been - and never will be a "what about me" type of feeling.  We are a close couple and sure, we miss lovemaking the way it used to be, but it's all about "us" as a couple. We have days of discouragement but those days are never without intimacy and love for each other.  I agree with the other poster that we have to remind ourselves of the goals here - it helps keep things in perspective when we are feeling down.  What if there wasn't a cure? We women would be suffering a devastating sorrow so deep that a discussion like this would seem an insult, no?   What about those that found out too late?  I'm sure they would gladly trade places. 

Again, I'm sorry if I read your expression the wrong way - I don't mean to discount your feelings. There is definitely a loss with this, but I just hope men reading this don't think their women feel the way you do. I hope you have (or achieve) the closeness we are talking about.  

LW

Post Edited (LovingWife) : 11/6/2006 12:22:43 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/6/2006 10:29 AM (GMT 0)
LW,

I couldn't have said it better.  I'm thankful every day that Curtis' cancer had been caught early and I'll hopefully have him with me for many years to come.  Nothing is more important than that!!

Posted 11/7/2006 12:30 PM (GMT 0)
hi SL, you made the comment "Can't believe that there no other wives out there that feel frustrated and disappointed in that department." I am very frustrated and disappointed, too, but realize that I can't change the physical part of this journey. sometimes I get tired of the same ole thing, but hey, I had those thoughts before the surgery. :) Jeff will want to fool around and my first thought is "well, if it's not going to get hard, what's the use?" but I realize that is stinking thinking and that we can have fun regardless of intercourse, or any type of sex. we can still be intimate and feel the love we have. I have to keep a positive attitude and hope that Jeff's penis will be erect again one day. and if it doesn't? well, then I will deal with that, too. as others have said, I am just so happy to have him cancer free and now pad free. here's a big hug for you. hang in there!! kat
Posted 11/7/2006 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
This thread is especially interesting to me as I am about a week post surgery and will have my catheter out next Monday. My wife and I discussed the loss of erection possibility. From my viewpoint I told her that the worse thing that could happen is if we got frustrated and without saying anything just stopped trying. I agree that intercourse is important part of a healthy married life but the intimacy that leads up to it is what makes it so great. I will try everything to get that erection. It is important. But providing a passionate intimacy and helping my wife to achieve orgasm is the first and most important sexual responsibility. The irony of my PCa is that it has come when our sex life is about as good as it has been.

Tamu
Posted 11/7/2006 4:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hello to all on this thread,

I started this thread with hopes to get the experiences of others after 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months.

I'm disapointed that no one has come forward after 9, 12, or even 18 months!

The following was my original post:

My question concerns erections.
Dr has me taking small doses of Cialis and I’m also using Vacuum Pump therapy.
Erections come with the pump but limp (not stiff).

There’s no sign of an erection when viewing erotic pictures or when my wife tries to bring it on.
What experiences have some of you had at?
3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months?


Mike C
Age 66
"da Vinci" Robotic Laparoscopic August,11 2006
Pathological Stage T2a
Gleason 3+4=7
Cancer contained in prostate
Post surgury PSA - Will find out on 11-20-06

PS: How do you guys post in color??
Posted 11/7/2006 4:47 PM (GMT 0)

Big Mike:

Happy Birthday!!

The color thing can be accomplished by selecting the color you want when posting a reply (look at the top, next to the right of "Message".

As far as stimulation, I've been told and read and experienced at the third month that visual  does not work.  Tactile stimulation is what you need (not all bad).  Enjoy!

Posted 11/7/2006 6:37 PM (GMT 0)

Figured out the problem with colors and fonts:

Colors and Fonts don't work in Mozilla or Seamonkey browsers.

Colors and Fonts only work in an IE (Internet Explorer) type browsers.

Maybe that's something the web master can look at?

MIKE C

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