Sex after surgery

Psychored,

I was told that I could try and have sex after the catheter was gone but most men, including me, are not ready for that due to leakage and the lack of an erection. Sounds like you have done well with the leakage and you are younger then i am so you may be getting erections quicker if not already. My urologist has me on a penile rehabilitation program where I started taking 25 mgs of Viagra on the third week day following surgery and doing this for six days and on the 7th taking 100 mgs and trying to have sex. I have done this for two weeks with little success. I will see my urologist on the 18th and see where we go from here. I believe that if you are up to it go for it.

Tamu

Yes, I fully agree and that keeps me going. The one good thing is that orgasms do not require an erection and they are just as good as before.

Tamu

yes, we always have this discussion somewhere along someone's recovery. Jeff has not had an erection yet to the point that we can have intercourse, but we do other things to satisfy each other and ourselves. as soon as the catheter was out, he wanted to start working on that. we do get frustrated and impatient, but we are happy that we did what we did. the cancer is gone. Jeff has info on a vacuum therapy system that we are going to pursue. so far he's shying away from the injections. I can't really blame him.

iggy, you've been through a lot and I'm sure your emotions have been all over the place. hang in there (oops, in more ways than one ) things will get better. kat

At about 3 week after surgery Jeff had an orgasm but was pretty achy afterwards, so we backed off for about a week, when we saw the Dr. and he said it was okay to try whatever. Jeff is taking viagra about every other day, and although it's a bit inconsistant as to any effect, I'm hoping it's still sending blood to those nerves that were tugged on during the surgery, to quicken their healing. Some days there is more "visible" response than others, but we don't really know why. It really is a waiting game. So we practice a lot, and have found that the shower is a great place to do that, because then the leaking is no big deal.

Jeff talked to our urologis this week and he thinks he's right on track with his healing. Even with viagra you can't expect miracles overnight. I think this weekend we're getting a sample of cialis and see if that's any different.

bec

Bec - I have to thank you for being up front and sharing the shower suggestion . . .I think you had mentioned it previously as well. It's not something I myself thought of but the "leaking" is an issue here and the shower has turned into something enjoyable and a first for us in many years. . . .did I say it caused an erection . . . .HELL NO . . . but any lengthening or firmness definitely seems to occur in the shower in an upright position. . . .and again, the leaking ceases to be an issue there.

Thanks again!
;o) Linda

Hi All,
New to the website and thread, and it is good to be here. My old high school friend Tamu told me about it. Facts of my case are on the Tamu Update thread, posted 1-4-2007, but briefly: at age 56 diagnosed on 6/06; PSA of 4.4 after a previous 2.9 triggered biopsy=4 of 12 samples positive-worst was Gleason 4+3=7; daVinci'ed 8/23/06, had leaky anastomosis so catheter stayed 4 weeks; final path was stage T2c but negative margins, nodes, and vesicle, Thank the Lord! However, the right neurovascular bundle had to be cut into; therefore, expect not going to have much fun for 6 mos.-1 year. The doc did plastic surgery with the robot and spliced the nerve, but it is going to take a while to grow back. I am on penile rehab which includes 25 mg Viagra 5 days a week to keep the blood flow up, a full dose (100 mg Viagra or the equivalent of Cialis or Levitra) one day, and 1000 micrograms MUSE the other day (my doc is not ready to go to the shots yet).

Now I love "doing it" as much as the next guy, so I am not trying to be puritanical. But, from what my doc and his nursing staff have drummed into my head, before and after my surgery, I am concerned about what I am reading about people trying to have sex of any kind too soon. Of course, you should do what your doctor tells you, but mine told me not to do anything sexual for 6 weeks after the surgery. No pills, no pumps, no other playing around, and no orgasms by any means. His nurse even told me, though she knew that I had the nerve cut, that if I miraculously got an erection (her words "...if the Lord gives you one..."), don't do anything with it for 6 weeks.

The concern was that movements or muscular contractions would mess up the microscopic stitching inside that the robot did. My team was especially mindful that something could get strained at the newly sewn junction of the free end of the urethra, in front of where the prostate was cut out, to the newly made bladder neck. "Newly made" because, if the job is done correctly, they cut way up into the base of the bladder so that not one prostate cell is left that could turn into cancer. This junction was where a pinhole leak was that kept the cath in me for three extra weeks. But, they told me about this abstaining before the surgery as a warning, before it was determined that I had a leak that needed extra time healing.

So, for what it's worth, again, do what your doctor says, but I wouldn't rush things until you are good and healed there.

dj

Psychored said...
It's unfortunate we live in such an "immediate gratification" society. While I know in my head it could take a long while, I, like most of you, would prefer a quicker return to some 'normalcy'!

Sorry Psychored, but there will be no return to "normalcy."