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Posted 2/15/2007 1:11 AM (GMT 0)

Hello again. I’m not as far along as many of you, so I don’t expect much response to this, but I'm just not sure where I'm going next. Unfortunitl my wife is scared to death about all this. My PSA jumped to 4.5 in six months. After the DRE the doctor said he didn’t feel anything unusual except swelling, and put me on antibiotics for 14 days. I get blood drawn on Friday to see if there is any changes. I haven’t told my wife this, but I don’t think much is going to improve. I have trouble going to the bathroom. Real weak stream, and I have to go several times during the night. No improvement even with the antibiotics, so I guess I’m in trouble. This web-site has been a God sent. It scares me to read some of these things, but you guys face this with real guts and wisdom. It has been a great help as I live in this land of the unknown.

Posted 2/15/2007 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Ben

you are among friends here. as the saying goes, "you have nothing to fear except fear itself". the only way you are going to bring some sense of peace to yourself is to pursue whether or not you may have prostate cancer or BPH (Benign prostatic hyperplasia) which is an enlarged prostate which can elevate your PSA, but is not necessarily cancerous. BPH can certainly cause some of the urinary problems you have been experiencing. there are medications to help BPH and keep your urine flowing. one of my former business associates has had BPH for a very long time; if it weren't for the medication (proscar) he is taking, he told me that he would not be able to urinate at times. so don't be afraid--just find the best urologist in your area and proceed from there.

sometimes it is better to tell your wife because having a secret like this can add a lot of stress and guilt feelings to you. marriage is sharing for better or for worse! tell you wife that prostate cancer in its earlier stages has a high chance of a cure. i would suspect with your lower PSA that you would be in an early stage if you have PC. let's hope it is only BPH!

good luck and let us know what progress you make from here.

Dave

p.s. I love the "new hope" after your name--it is very inspirational! just keep thinking "new hope"! all PC patients need "new hope" at each turn which will hopefully keep them with a very positive attitude.
Posted 2/15/2007 1:30 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Ben - new here also but I can tell you, you are in very good company.  Your wife will get stronger - just give her some time to adjust.  The only advise I have at this point is this: Do your homework, don't let your doctors dictate, be a part of the decision making process.  

Thinking of you & wishing you all the best 

Posted 2/15/2007 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Ben, it took me forever to get some control and competence and handle myself. I still don't do all that well once in awhile. It will get better. Please read Bluebird's welcome to new people. Stay tuned in.

Regards,

Bill
Posted 2/15/2007 2:09 AM (GMT 0)

Ben:

You have certainly come to the right place = there is more help here on this board than you can imagine.  I agree that it is very important to involve your wife in this process - this is a "couples" disease and knowledge will help with some of the fear.  Also, you need her support at this time.

Best wishes to you.

Dutch

Posted 2/15/2007 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi There Ben,

The unknown is always scary especially when you are dealing with health issues. Your urologist is following the correct process. No need for a biopsy if it does turn out to be something else. Your PSA is really not that high and is about what mind was when diagnosed. I was not having any of the symptoms you are describing which indicates that you do not have to have symptoms to have PC and symptoms do not always equate to PC. Take it one step at a time. Your wife is also scared of the unknown and I believe that in many of the cases of PC the wives pay a higher emotional price then the husbands. Stay with us and let us know the results of your next PSA.

Tamu
Posted 2/15/2007 2:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Ben,

There's no need to conclude that you are in trouble yet. I had trouble peeing for about 2 years prior to being diagnosed. The doc diid regular PSA and DRE tests and when my PSA went from 5.1 to 7.1 in a year he sent me for a biopsy. You can see in my stats below that the cancer was contained and now it is gone.

My wife and I went to see the urologist together and have shared all our information, knowledge and opinions with each other. This disease is much harder to face alone. Get her involved and it will make both your paths easier.

Good luck...

Jim

Oh yeah, my doc told me he would tell me when to start worrying.  I took him at his word and he came through.

Posted 2/15/2007 4:10 AM (GMT 0)
Ben,
Let your wife in on what is going on or scaring you. It may be nothing. My husband was diagnosised on the 10th aniv. of my dad's death from this very same cancer. I am only 34 years old, but I will do everything in the world to stand by him and make sure that we beat this thing. I have to admit, there is a huge part of me that would like to run, but, even with my family history with this cancer, I love him more than anything in the world, and know that we will BEAT this. Let your wife know.... I know he would have liked to have kept it from me, at least from that day, however, love concurs all!!!!
Posted 2/15/2007 6:04 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Ben & Mama Ben,   Quote from Ben… Hello again. I’m not as far along as many of you, so I don’t expect much response to this, but I'm just not sure where I'm going next.   Negative ….. must be turned into a positive…. OKAY!!!!!!!!   Check out the postings above!!!!!!!   You are reaching out and we are here!!!!!   But ~ we need you to help us to help you!       Ben….   Talk to us!!!!    You’ve got to stay closer to us at this time so we can help you both over this slippery stepping-stone.   In order to do this…. Keep posting…. Okay!!!!!     Did you go back and read your postings from your 1 st Thread: CONCERNED!    ??   The rainbow I sent….   Please print it out and give it to your wife.   I want her to know how important you both are to all of us !   She is part of this journey and you really need to include her in every stepping-stone.     Partial Post from Ben… It scares me to read some of these things, but you guys face this with real guts and wisdom.                                   Knowledge is Power ~ and   ~ Power takes away the fear   Ben ~ We have been where you are right now!  We gained Knowledge and the Power of this Knowledge allows the fear to slip further and further behink you.....  Trust us on this!!!!   “IF” you are diagnosed with prostate cancer……      Let’s stop here for just one moment….   before we go any further… please do one thing for mama bluebird…   Say these words out loud.    prostate cancer     Now “IF” you hear these words later on after testing ~ the words will still be “alarming” but once you’ve said them out loud….. it truly is easier to take the 1 st step off the slipperiest stone in this journey.   It’s the stone that will dunk you faster than any of the ones that will be in your path.   You have to take control by putting on a “Life Vest”…. HealingWell Forum Family is this vest.                                       Our Hands are Reaching Out to You!!!                                                     Special words borrowed from daveed/forum member   We are keeping you extra close in our thoughts and prayers. In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy   P.S. Have you read Jetguy’s Page??? If not… please do… He started with us before he was diagnosed.   Threads Started by:   Ben@NewHope (direct links ~ just click on the title!   Reminder to click on the REFRESH icon once there)   2-14     Land of the Unknown - A scary place. 1-31    Can PSA vary in one day? 1-16    Kaiser Doctors? 1-13     CONCERNED!       (direct link ~ just click on the title!   Reminder to click on the REFRESH icon once there) Jetguy's Page... Welcome Friend :)  
Posted 2/15/2007 6:15 AM (GMT 0)
2-14    Re-sending to this thread…(Thanks Jetguy!!) Originally ~ Sent on 1-13 to Ben@ NewHope Thread: CONCERNED!   Dear Ben@NewHope & Loved Ones,                                     Sending a “Warm Welcome” …to You!   You are not alone…. When you look up into the day sky or the night sky… we are all under the same stars, moon, & the sun.   And the sun always shines my friend.   And we are always here! * Ben & Loved Ones … this is your very own rainbow and I’m sprinkling it with sunshine *   ~ keep them close to you ~ * ////////////////////// //////////////////////////// /////////////// /////////////////////////// * ////////// /////////////////////////// ///// //////////////////////// ///////////////////// ///////////// ///////// ///////////////////// ///////////// ////////// * ////////// *     The dark clouds “will” try to move in…. but we are here to help to move them away. Stay with us….okay…. we can truly make the journey smoother.   Take our hands…..   and lean on us!!!   Helping Hands from your New Friends… Day 1 is behind you and Day 2 will soon be behind you….. each step you take will be a little easier…   truly…   The not knowing is what brings the fear.   And now you’ll move forward with a biopsy to see if in fact you have prostate cancer.   If you do ~ the next step will be to decide on your treatment.   And that again is where we lend helping hands.                         Knowledge is Power ~ and   ~ Power takes away the fear     Please keep posting…. Okay!!! In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy
Posted 2/17/2007 4:29 PM (GMT 0)

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. Yesterday morning I had some blood drawn and should get the result by next week. Strange as it may seem, just getting past that simple step has brought a little tension relief.

You said that it’s to early to be pessimistic, because it may be BPH (Benign prostatic hyperplasia), or an infection, but wouldn’t the 14 days of antibiotics cleared this up? I still have a very weak stream and am heading to the bathroom 2 & 3 times a night. I thought that things would get back to normal with the medication if there was no cancer.

Well, now it’s time to continue to wait. Still scary, but thanks to you all, it’s a lot easier. I have also taken your advice and shared my concerns with my wife. She is the greatest gift God has ever given me. I don’t want to cause her any undue fear, but she is at my side like no other. Being open with her has brought her in and bound us tighter together. Something I never thought could happen because we are already very close. You were right, it’s a team battle.

I’ll be back with the results and were we go from here. Bless you, and my prayers continue heaven-ward for you all. (I strongly believe in prayer!)

Posted 2/17/2007 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ben & Loved One ~   This is taken from a resent post I sent to Mozart!! I will start out by letting you know that the new word for you is Optimistic   (hopeful, positive, confident)   This is truly a scary time… and until you know the answers your mind will really play havoc with your emotions.   No matter what!!! And I repeat myself on purpose…No matter what!!!! Know right now that there is no room for negative thoughts or feelings… Let this new word enter your mind and body and soul… and you will feel the peace.   You are strong and you are stronger than you even thought you could be… You said it in your posting… Partial post... from Ben.. Being open with her has brought her in and bound us tighter together. Something I never thought could happen because we are already very close. You were right, it’s a team battle.   The exact same words I have personally shared with others!!!!   Never in my wildest dreams did I think Buddy & I could be any closer!!!   WRONG….   The strength we’ve always shared still had room for growth… GOOD. POSITIVE. GROWTH.. and that’s what you have!   Thank you for accepting “all of our” special ways of sending you strength!! Special hugs coming to you both… It truly is a we/us journey…   Smart move with being open and honest with your loved one.   Share your fears because she will have fears of her own and once shared they really don’t seem so scary.     You have to remember that the most important thing is that “we love you guys” and when you hurt   ~   we hurt.   And this is okay.   Having the strength of 2 makes this journey much easier… and for those who are only “1”… that’s where we all come in to help.   Sharing is Caring and Caring for Each Other is the best gift we can give.   No one can be 100% assured of being here tomorrow. Live one-day-at-a-time and enjoy each and every moment!!! So give yourself a present J   What a GIFT!!!!   One Day At A Time…… Yesterday was history.    Tomorrow is a mystery.   Today is a gift.   That’s why it’s called the Present.   I like hugs for a gift   ~ because it is a gift I don’t mind returning…        “God Bless You”   It's a little prayer   ~   "God BlessYou" ...but it means so much each day, It means may angels guard you   and guide you on your   way.                                                                                    Author unknown   As you read the little prayer above… please remember that no matter what the test results show… you will be guided to the right decisions and will be guarded by all of us walking beside you.   Keep remembering.   We have been where you are… and we are here today to walk the walk and talk the talk.      ~  Optimistic ~   (hopeful, positive, confident)   If you hear the words prostate cancer…. the word above is going to be even more important to both of you…   Continue to take our hand and we will be there for you.   Continuing to keep you close in thoughts and prayers… In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy     P.S.   I truly hope you continue to post on this personal thread….  
Posted 2/17/2007 6:22 PM (GMT 0)
Ben

great hearing from you and knowing that you are on your way to solving the mystery of your present medical condition.

the following is the definition of BPH (benign prostatic hyperplasia or hypertrophy). A noncancerous condition of the prostate that results in the growth of both glandular and supporting connective tumorous tissue, enlarging the prostate and obstructing urination. i believe that an infection of the prostate (cleared up with antiboitics) and BPH (treated daily with medications such as proscar to shrink the prostate) are two different conditions. an infection could cause inflammation of the prostate and further aggrevate BPH. if you have BPH, taking the antibotics alone will not cure the BPH.

here is an interesting website from the mayo clinic talking in detail about BPH, which might be helpful to you:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/enlarged-prostate-bph/BP99999

here is a quote from this website: "it's normal for your prostate gland to produce PSA, which helps liquefy semen. A small amount of PSA normally circulates in your blood. Higher than normal levels in your blood can indicate you have BPH, prostate cancer or prostatitis. If results of a PSA blood test suggest BPH, your doctor may perform additional tests to confirm whether you have BPH. These tests also help determine how severe it is and rule out other problems that cause symptoms."

i am so happy that some of us here encouraged you to tell your wife about your condition (notwithstanding that you didn't want to concern her) and how you are proceeding. what a wonderful compliment you made to your wife in your last posting--she must be a gem! having her at your side and sharing your fears and concerns at this time is a win win situation for both of you. i will keep my fingers crossed that you won't have to officially join our PC club, but we are here to help in any way possible.

Dave
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