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Posted 3/13/2007 2:19 AM (GMT 0)
Alex,

I know exactly what you mean when you said " I had been told since the begining that most likely I didn't have PC."  That's what two doctors told us so we didn't expect the bad news we got.  Curtis didn't show much emotion, but I sure did...Scared me to death to think I might lose him....well that was last August and everything is fine now and I'm sure it will be with you too.  Since all your tests came back negative I'm sure the doctor will get it all!!

Keep in touch!!

Posted 3/13/2007 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Alex - so glad for some good news finally. You had me in tears too. You will get through this and one day you'll look back in awe. Believe me we've been there as well. Probably our toughest time was 2 yrs ago when Bob's blood condition was first diagnosed . . . .. doctor said you have 5 to 30 years. We chose 30 and have gone on with life.

Then just a year later the prostate cancer . . . . .probably the world didn't spin as far out of control that time because of the more recent experience and the fact that just one year prior Bob's older brother had the same surgery for prostate cancer and has had a very favorable outcome. We chose the same urologist, but didn't have all the research to do when you get blindsided.

Please stay with us; know that we all support you whole heartedly.

;o) Linda & Bob
Posted 3/13/2007 2:26 AM (GMT 0)
Alex,

It is good that your primary care doctor recognized your need and met it. I can feel the relief flow from your posting. The right attitude to deal with PC is the one you are developing. It might rob you of some of those good things in life but it will not take away from you the best things. Carry on with the positives and meet the monster head on. Right now tears of thankfulness are relished. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Tamu
Posted 3/13/2007 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
Alex,
So happy to hear your good news...I swear I could feel the relief in your words! Very, very Good.
You know we're all thinking of you & wishing you the best,
Susan
Posted 3/13/2007 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Everyone
thank you very much for all who responded. I appriciate any words of encouragment and it really does help get me through the days. The wife and I were going to open a bottle of champagne but she has had a cold for a few days so she wants to wait. maybe when we have some time alone this weekend we will open it the bottle and have some alone time before the surgery it could be the last time for awhile. So we may as well make it something to remember.

thanks again for the support

Alex
Posted 3/13/2007 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Alex,

Good news is always welcome! Hold on to that memory my friend. It will be dear to you in the future...

Jim
Posted 3/13/2007 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
Great idea Alex!  Make it a weekend to remember for a long time and it will help you get thru all this.  Just remember that we've all been thru it...either on our own or with our husbands...and you will get thru it just as we all did with flying colors!!

Posted 3/13/2007 11:48 AM (GMT 0)
Best wishes :-)
Posted 3/13/2007 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Alex,
What a roller coaster. Congratulations on some good news. You will beat the heck out of this. Keep in touch.
dj
Posted 3/13/2007 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
Aztec:
Congratulations on the good news. This can be scary at times, but the more I read the more I am convinced the odds are on our side.
Posted 3/14/2007 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
Aztec:

I just came across this thread and you seem to be on the same trip emotionally I was last year.  We're about the same age, and seem to think a lot alike.

My clear bone scan was the first turning point I remember when the news started to get better as opposed to worse.  Congratulations on your positive milestone!

Eveybody is different, but all I can tell you is that you WILL get back to your old self after this is over.   This stuff can drive you nuts....  I thought I was going to die by age 47, I'd never see my 14 year old daughter graduate high school, etc....  Natural human nature, but you get past it.  My initial numbers sucked, my biopsy sucked, my post-surg PSA sucked, hormone therapy sucks (don't worry about the post surg stuff --- odds are way in YOUR favor you won't have to deal with PSA recurrence!)--- but life doesn't suck, I'm not crazy (anymore!), and I feel good and am optimistic about my recovery... like I said, I sense we kind of think alike --- you'll get to a good place once this is over and done with. 

And you WILL have sex again after treatment, no matter what happens.... there's a lot of help in this area --- you'll be fine.  

There's more roller coaster ahead, but time fixes this.  Talking helps.  Faith helps.  Time helps.  Knowlege helps.

Hang in there, brother... you'll make it through this in once piece!

Posted 3/16/2007 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure what is worse the waiting or the not knowing what I'll be like after surgery. I have found a wealth of friendship from co workers from my old job as well as my new job and of course in this forum. Still as the days go by I think what will I be like when the operation is over. I was told the other day that I don't act my age that I come off as being alot younger. Will this be the same or will I age in my outlook. I say this because of the sideeffects of the surgery. There is a youthful vigor you have when you can respond sexually and when that doesn't happen how will that feel. Will I get angry, depressed, withdrawn or all of the above. I told my doctor my health insurance covers 50% of any medication for ED and he said you won't need that at least not for long. As much as I want to believe him the stories I read here lead me to believe I will need that and maybe shots or a pump. I've come to grips with what I have for the most part now its coming to grips with what I will become or how long it will take to recover. you would think that the medical community would come up with a post prostatectomy ED physical therapy plan. Well maybe I can make that my own project, document my procedures and others to come up with a multi step approach to exercising and improving post prostatectomy ED. Who knows it might even make the medical journals

sorry just felt like venting

Alex
Posted 3/16/2007 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
We had similar feelings until we realized that we had no choice anymore -- Bob had cancer -- the cancer had to be out -- how he was after is all a state of mind. Without treatment we knew "where" he'd be after . . . .and like biker says (think it was biker) . . . .it sure beats a dirt hole.

Keep up the fight!!
;o)
Posted 3/16/2007 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
Still trying to figure out what <Dave> means with the I guess shocked face
Posted 3/16/2007 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
Aztec:

You feel old while you recover from surgery, but that doesn't take too long. You've be back to your old self with just a little bit of time.

Sex is impacted. Right now, because I'm on hormone therapy, I have no appetitie for sex (which is really weird)....BUT BEFORE that and post surgery, my wife and I did quite well using the pump --- nothing you'd want to try on a first date, but after 20 years, it was not nearly as weird as I thougt it would be and got the job done (quite nicely, if I say so myself).

You might get kind of nuts for a while --- you sound so much like I did before surgery... but that will pass --- you'll get a good prognosis, get used to the thought of cancer, recover and be just fine --- perhaps a bit more apprecative of the good things in life.....Trust me.....
Posted 3/16/2007 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Alex,

Linda is right. We have cancer and it needs to be dealt with first of all. What we are after treatment is largely up to us. We meet the challenges one by one and with the help of the medics, our families and our friends here on HW we overcome them. What we are inside and how we view ourselves is completely up to us. We can choose one of two paths. We can dwell on our condition, make excuses for our shortcomings, withdraw into ourselves to the exclusion of the love of our family and fall into the pit of depression and eventual destruction. Or we can reach out for help of which you already have experienced here on this forum. We can vent like you just did and is so very helpful. We can experience healing both physical and emotional. We can search for the positives in each step of our journey. We can take this traumatic experience as an opportunity to inventory our relationship with our loved ones and toss out the hurtful thoughts and words and replace them with closer more meaningful thoughts and actions.

It is not an easy journey but it can be very fruitful if we want it to be. It takes thought and lots of work to make ourselves into something better than we were pre-PCa,

As far as your youthful outlook, you will keep it if you stay excited about life. I see life through the eyes of my kids, grandkids and students. I try to understand their view points and stay involved with their cares and aspirations. (just understanding their lingo is a challenge!) The old saying is very true: "You are as young as you feel inside."

And Linda, the "dirt hole" is Pete's idea!

Jim
Posted 3/16/2007 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
<DAVE>

I don't know if there is anything more anyone on this forum can do for me that they havn't already done. There have been some hopeful responces and some practical responces. The practical ones are probably the most helpful but not the ones you want to here. LOL What someone like me wants to here is don't worry in no time you will be back to your normal self and sex will be great again. no one here will say that and they shouldn't but darn it would be great to here. I know the odds and the stats could be any thing from a year to two before things are somewhat normal and it could be that it will never be noraml again. it's the uncertainty of it. you could almost say that if they told me you will never have a normal erection again it might make it easier but the trying and failing could be damaging also. What people in here can do is what they have been doing letting me express my fears, not judging and providing any hopful responces stories or experiances.

Alex
Posted 3/16/2007 10:32 PM (GMT 0)

Alex - Most of the guys on this forum are older than you and may not have been in as good of health and conditioning as you prior to surgery. Many were using ED drugs prior to surgery as well. I would listen carefully to your doctor's prediction for you that he is basing on his experience and assessment of your unique condition. The utility of these forums is to learn about the range of possibilities and strategies. But I don't think you can base your expectations solely on what others here have experienced. The best doctors already have post-surgical rehabilitation plans for erectile dysfunction and you are correct that overall health and exercise is a contributing factor. I hope you follow through with your project for documenting your recovery and post the results. Most of the guys who conquer ED never return to these forums, which is part of the reason you may find some of the experiences shared here more alarming. I think you're doing a great job of processing this major hit and I look forward to watching you get to the other side. You're on the right track. Don't worry. In no time you will be back to your normal self and sex will be great again. Even if it ends up being different, it will always be great. 

Posted 3/16/2007 10:33 PM (GMT 0)
I am thankful that women can post on this site with full acceptance. Although we were very hopeful, we also had realistic expectations about sex after surgery. We didn't focus too much on the down side (forgive the pun) either. Because B had some previous experience with ED due to blood pressure medication, we were already familiar and happy with Viagra. My feeling, which I expressed to B, was that we were inadvertantly lucky to have the experience with it, because it was not foreign to us and we knew it worked for us at the times B felt he needed the extra boost. From a woman's perspective, it was comforting to me to know that there are excellent aids to a satisfying sexual life with one's partner after PCa. This is what I told my husband: "I expect that our sex life will be different after surgery, but I know that it will be an adventure. You will still be able to have an orgasm, that is for sure. We will discover ways to pleasure each other that we might never have tried, and I know that we will make it fun." And that was that. More later... Becky
Posted 3/16/2007 11:04 PM (GMT 0)

Becky:

Amen to that !!

Dutch

Posted 3/17/2007 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes taking a step back and reading other threads does help. I read some of the posts on the vacume pump thread and it lead me to beleive that getting back to normal will require some physical therapy but that there is hope and that with "hard" work my life can get back to almost normal. thank you to everyone who provided their thoughtful feedback

Alex
Posted 3/17/2007 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
soemtimes its best to look at like the lyrics to this song

Live Like You Were Dying

He said I was in my early forties
With a lot of life before me
When a moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days
Looking at the x-rays
And talking ‘bout the options,
talking ‘bout sweet time
And I asked him when it sank in
That this might really be the real end
How’s it hit ya’ when you get that
kind of news
Man, what’d you do (he said)

[Chorus]
I went sky diving I went rocky
mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a
bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper
and I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying
And he said one day I hope you get a chance
To live like you were dying

He said I was finally the husband
That most the time I wasn’t
And I became a friend a friend would like to have
And all of sudden going fishin’
Wasn’t such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
And I finally read the good book
And I took a good long hard look
At what I’d do if I could do it all again
and then

[Chorus]

Like tomorrow was a gift
And you’ve got eternity to think about what to do with it
What would you do with it…what did I do with it

[Chorus]
Posted 3/17/2007 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Alex,   Continuing to see you get stronger and stronger…. This is wonderful…   Take one-day-at-a-time and know we are all here with hands to support you.   J In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy
Posted 3/17/2007 9:50 PM (GMT 0)
Alex - thanks for sharing those lyrics.  They certainly fit for this group!  I guess that's why Bob bought a motorcycle!!! tongue yeah

 

Linda

Posted 3/17/2007 11:03 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Alex, I see you taking those steps along the journey that Bluebird so eloquently describes.  I even see myself doing it, but with less clarity.  I think your progress to date is excellent.  Congratulations.

Regards,

Bill

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