Horrible pain & nausea - late stage

 

Hi all...I'm new

My Dad is in late-stage...bone metastases (several ribs, pelvis, spine, lymph nodes). He just had his 71st birthday.

He has had an ostomy bag for 23 yrs, a super-pubic catheter installed 3 yrs ago, and double nephrostomy tubes put in about 3 months ago....

This man is an inspiration to anyone who has ever met him - he has NEVER complained about his health....his health which long ago deserted him...

He is at home, still thankfully, where my Mom cares for him...back in July, we thought that the end was near, but somehow he came through that...

Now, he seems to be on a downward trend...and he is in pain & suffering from extreme nausea - and he has little energy...for instance, just standing at the bathroom sink to comb his hair, completely tires him out.

Does anyone have any suggestions for his symptoms of pain & nausea???

I can't bear the thought of his suffering...he has a Palliative care Dr. who visits, but is not due back for another week.  Dad does not like to 'bother' anyone, so requesting that the Dr. come sooner is a big deal.

What are the end stages like?  Anyone??  My Mom is so sad & scared of his suffering...it's eating her up.

How long could he possibly live in this awful state?

We love him so much - we have had so much fear about his health in his lifetime...and now....it's unthinkable that he would be in pain like this.

Thanks for reading my ramblings...

Kathy

thank you

Dear Kathy,

My wife and I have had family members in other late stage diseases and have found Hospice to be a wonderful resource.  Your father sounds like a wonderful and courageous man and it's obvious that the acorn didn't fall far from the tree when it came to his daughter.  My best to you.

Regards,

Bill

Dear Kathy,

Sorry to hear of you dad's suffering. My dad died from prostate cancer in 1985. It is a terrible thing to watch and not know what to do for him. My dad was on methadone for the last year of his life. It relieved that pain but he was "doped up" most of the time. Urging him to go to the doctor was useless because, like your dad, he didn't want to bother anybody.

There have been many advances in the treatment of prostate cancer and in pain management since then as I am sure you are aware. My only suggestion is to urge him to call the doctor earlier than his appointment and to be there to support him and you mom. My dad always perked up when we would come around even though he would never talk about his condition. That might have helped if he had talked about it but at that stage, we let him handle it the way he wanted.

It is a sad time of our lives when we see our parents near the end of their lives. We can take consolation in knowing that we were there for them.

And please stay with us...

Jim

for all of you wonderful people who have responded....thank you

you're words are so heartfelt & i accept them with gratitude

i took your advice, and asked my dad to please call the palliative doctor, and he did...she will be dropping by today!   -  all of my thanks, Kathy

 PERSEVERANCE

"Is there a school where Perseverance teaches classes?  I want to meet him face to face and see what he looks like.  I have heard so much about him.  It is not that I want his feedback.  I am sure he would tell me to "keep working", and I already know that. It is not just me either.  Offhand, I can name at least three friends who are as curious as I am.  One is a scholar, one is a writer, and the third is a young parent.  I would write Perseverance a letter inviting him to come here and teach at the neighbourhood school, but no one around here knows where he lives or how to find him.

I read somwhere that they were trying to hire him to co-host a PBS series on the creative process, but he would not have it...says he is shy in front of cameras. Truth is, he turns down all offers which distract him from his work."

(J. Ruth Gendler)

Post Edited (sophieluv) : 10/4/2007 7:47:54 AM (GMT-6)

Kathy,

What a wonderful family you are a part of. I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is suffering...the fact that he acted on your plea shows he does need the help.

To be face to face with the pain and suffering this horrible disease can bring...that's where we all fear to be. The brave men here have been through surgery, radiation, hormone therapy, chemotherapy...but how to go through what your dad is experiencing well, this is something we don't know how to do.

We do know how to give you support and encouragement. I wish it were more.

I'm really glad you came here...be assured that you & your family will be on many minds tonight and these same people will be checking on you, so please come back.

God Bless,
Susan

Hi ~ Kathy & Loved Ones...   Our thoughts and prayers surround you and your loved ones… And we send our strength to your dad.   Hospice was called in for a neighbor and they were able to ease his pain and give the family guidance… please make the call!!!   There are complications with late stage prostate cancer and Hospice will be able to make you aware of them and work with you.  Again ~ make the call....   Partial excerpts from: “Dr. Patrick Walsh’s Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer”…(Give Yourself a Second Opinion) Copyright 2001    … You have a right to demand everything possible—medication or a procedure to ease pain or symptoms .... —to make your life better. …patients themselves didn’t ask for adequate pain medication. …The bottom line is that you—or a loved one with prostate cancer—do not need to suffer terrible pain.   There is help available. Take it.   Our thoughts and prayers reach out to you and we feel your fear…   Please ~ continue to reach out ... you have a wonderful support team here... with all of us!!! Keeping you extra close at this time!!   Know We Care ~ In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy

Sorry to hear about your father.
You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

kw