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Incontinence - Rookie needs guidance

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Posted 2/3/2009 5:00 AM (GMT 0)
I'm brand new to this site. I certainly wish that I had found it before now. I just had my surgery (daVinci method) 11 days ago. Naturally, right now I'm going through the fears of incontinence. I'll worry about erections later. I went to work today, went through about 6 pads and have had a couple of small dribbles at the urinal of about 3/4 cup.

After reading a number of past threads on this site, there was a reference to a technique of going naked from the waist down with a cup? Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything by doing a search. Can someone help me with this?

Thanks you in advance. I look forward to reading about all of you and your successes more.
Posted 2/3/2009 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Highwheel,
Welcome to HealingWell. I wish I had a dollar for everytime someone found us and said they wish they did sooner. The fact is that this site was my first place a refuge from the demon we call prostate cancer. Now in my 3rd year, I stayed to help as many as I could. Unfortunately I can't find your search criteria. But stay a while and get to know the guys who had incontinance issues. I really didn't, but I had other issues. It's good to see you here. Welcome again.

Tony
Posted 2/3/2009 5:35 AM (GMT 0)

Highwheel said...
I'm brand new to this site. I certainly wish that I had found it before now. I just had my surgery (daVinci method) 11 days ago. Naturally, right now I'm going through the fears of incontinence. I'll worry about erections later. I went to work today, went through about 6 pads and have had a couple of small dribbles at the urinal of about 3/4 cup.

After reading a number of past threads on this site, there was a reference to a technique of going naked from the waist down with a cup? Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything by doing a search. Can someone help me with this?

Thanks you in advance. I look forward to reading about all of you and your successes more.

I had forgotten all about the going naked with a cup method of curing incontinence. :-)   We discussed that almost two years ago.  I actually tried it a few times and found that it was a great motivator, if you didn't mind looking a little silly eyes    The idea is that you concentrate totally on your kegal muscles.  Your focus is only on that and the cup is for when you slip up. So you walk around the house, climb stairs, do everything except walk in on your wife's bridge group.

Give it a try yeah .

Sounds like you are doing pretty good already.

Posted 2/3/2009 7:01 AM (GMT 0)
Highwheel,
Welcome to the best patient to patient site on the web(at least for PCa). At 11 days post surgery you are very early in the recovery process. Continence is usually gained gradually and on average, by the 12 week mark, everything is usually O.K. The recovery process can be frustrating at times though, for you do not notice the little day by day improvement. First the night time, then the morning, then the late afternoon comes on line and before you know it you're mostly continent. This is most of the time but as with anything to do with PCa we are all individuals and will make our own way. I would suggest not swanning about at work or out in the street with no daks and the tin cup....................you might frighten the natives.shocked
Bill
Posted 2/3/2009 12:16 PM (GMT 0)
Highwheel,
Yep, as lifeguyd said, that was an unofficial motivational technique to keep kegel muscles tight. I never had the privacy to try it! At eleven days, don't even expect to be dry. The average continence time is 8-12 weeks. I was about 9 weeks or so. Take it easy on yourself and celebrate your health and recovery and let the continence go away. Rejoice over the baby steps of progress. Otherwise, I would be afraid of being overwhelmed eventually with the feeling that you're not where you want to be.
The first stage will be dry at night, then dry through the morning, then the afternoon. Dry all evening is the last to go - and often the most frustrating. But your muscles are tired at the end of the day and it will take some time.
Welcome, stick around
Paul
Posted 2/3/2009 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
What a great site.

One question in the evening  and overnight there are 5 responses. All of them very supporting. 

I can already tell I will visit this site often. 

Thank you for all your responses.  I feel better already. I've gone two nights already with a dry pad so I should celebrate my successes first.    

Posted 2/3/2009 2:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Highwheel....yep...the night time is the first area to experience dryness. I am about 4 months out now and I have just a pad for day time stress issues and nothing at night. Almost back to the good ole days. It takes time...everyone is different, but most folks here will tell you that the three month mark you should start seeing some improvement. Up until that time for me...it was like two steps forward and one step back. I would have days I thought I was recovering nicely and bam...very next day I couldn't control anything. Just don't get discourage...I know I did quite often and would really feel sorry for myself. Its just part of the healing process...the body heals and so does the mind and attitude.

Hang in there (no pun intended) and you will be fine.
Posted 2/3/2009 2:27 PM (GMT 0)
Highwheel,
You are most welcome here, glad to have you, sorry you need to be here. For a guy that soon out of surgery, you are doing very well. Already well enough to go to work, I'm impressed. You have been given a lot of good advice in the above posts. The incontinence and the ED part vary so much man by man, treatment by treatment, and even then, there's little consistincy. Patience and reasonable expectations early on would be a good guide line, and also, and this is hard to do sometimes, dont compare yourself to others. Your body is on its on healing schedule.

If I did the naked from the waist down with the cup thing, think I would even scare the bee-gee-bees out of myself. lol. that was a new one for me.

my best to you, david in sc
Posted 2/3/2009 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Highwheel,

You seem to be on target. As has been said nights first, (except run for the toilet immediately upon rising) then you should find you are OK when sitting and finally when up and moving around. My Dr. said doing the exercises do speed the process of control but that it will return regardless as long as the striated spincter was not damaged in the surgery. If you have a thicked bladder due to urinary isssues prior to surgery your recovery may take longer.

Good luck. Scott
Posted 2/3/2009 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
I am now working on 9 months post DiVinci. I consider myself dry but still wear a pad for the very ocassional minor squirt. I did not dry up as rapidly as some have described. Ironically I was almost dry at 3 months but made little progress from there until about the 6th month.

I am writing like others to state we are all a little different but the main thing is to be patient. It simply takes time, and frankly for me has not been a big deal. I rarely even think about it now. I would say the only real kegel's I did were starting and stopping urination. That at least gave me clarity on what muscles were doing what down south. I haven't done anything for the last several months. As far as your naked cup - well, sorry but even though I never did it I can't get too excited about the idea. Frankly, I think it just plain old has to take its natural course of healing and it will.
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