HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

mood swings? feeling low

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 7/28/2009 12:03 AM (GMT 0)
Did anyone have problems with anger after surgery feeling low? It has been 7 weeks since my surgery and I started back to work last week One day good the other not so good. I started my 1/4 dose Viagra last week and just received my pump I should be in heaven but not so. I have been really agitated the last few days Stress at home stress at work normal stress. Kids living at home a whole different forum . Everybody has it but I seem to lash out. confused Did anyone else have these problems we do not have hormones do we? It has been so long since the surgery I felt that all this should be past now.
Posted 7/28/2009 12:13 AM (GMT 0)
You have been through a lot, so it is not surprising to have depression. Depression sometimes manifests itself with anger. I have a depression and am taking antidepressants as well as weekly trips to a psycologist. Helps great deal. I recommend a psycologist - they should be able to help figure this out. Hang in there. Half the battle is recognizing there is a problem.
Posted 7/28/2009 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, you still do have hormones -- the prostate has nothing to do with those. In addition, your mind and your body have been horribly assaulted. They have sliced you open (even if small slices) sniped out parts of your insides, rearranged the rest, and then stuffed it all back together. You have been given to think about the idea that Cancer = Death Or life-long disability.

I too am taking antidepressants -- hey, if the chemistry of your brain is messed up, you should un-mess it. Professional help is a good thing. Anger -- yeah life has dealt me a bum hand, but I have to learn not to take it out on those closest to me. That is what professional help is for.
Posted 7/28/2009 1:35 AM (GMT 0)
I think it is safe to say that most guys who have been through a cancer diagnosis and surgery suffer from depression. Depression is an illness like any other. It doesn't mean you are necessarily feeling depressed, but anger, frustration, sleeping poorly, waking up extremely early in the AM, restlessness are all signs. It is a chemical imbalance brought on by many things, not the least is stress. Gee, sound familiar?

I have often said every diagnosis of cancer should be accompanied by an appointment with a therapist.

It is nothing to be ashamed of. Get going. Call your family doctor. They will be VERY helpful. Many PCa guys are on antidepressants. After any major trauma it is to be expected. You aren't alone.
Paul
Posted 7/28/2009 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Tim, seven weeks isn't long to be from a major life changing surgery like you underwent. It's most common to go through the whole spectrum of emotions: anger, resentment, pain, hate, guilt, etc. I still deal with so of those issues and I am 9 months from surgery. Most times I am alright, a few times I still feel raw and on edge. If you need help or meds to help you ease off a little bit, talk to your doctor or your GP if you have one. Stay in touch with us hear, we are here for you, good times and bad times. Hope you feel better.

David in SC
Posted 7/28/2009 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
I have tried to redirect my "anger" into different emotions. We can all say its not fair that we came down with PC, but then what is fair about any illness? It just is . Nothing I can do about it.

If I can work hard to help others who are going through tough times, if I can work harder at loving my wife, who may also be able to say it's not fair, if I can be a better neighbor, a better friend, a better parent, then maybe this PC can be a positive to those around me.

I have told my friends to hit me up side the hed with a 2 x 4 if I becoime grumpy or whiney, or hard to live with because I think it's not fair.

And yes to anti-depresants if you need them. But try to re-direct these feelings and I think you will begin to feel better !
Posted 7/28/2009 4:21 AM (GMT 0)
Timmy: I just had a battle with my wife over whether our daughter's huge dog with garbage dump breath and a need to pant when in the car was going to ride in the back seat huffing all over us, or in the back of her SUV. What you need to understand was the trip was for perhaps ten blocks. Sort of thing that a few weeks ago was no big deal. I'd suck it up and put up with it, as she was. Now, since dancing with daVinci, these sorts of things have become a major issue. I'm about as sweet to live with as an overflowing catheter bag. What I can't figure out is how so many guys here have an ED issue. My ED isn't the issue. My attitude has got me so far in the dog house I could be flagpolling like a boy scout trapped in a girl guide shower and I'd still be sleeping in the guest bedroom.

I don't know if it's depression, or what, but you sound pretty normal to me after what you've been through. And, as the guys say, clinical depression is simply an imbalnce of brain chemicals you can do something about, or rather, your doctor can. Don't be shy about seeking help. Heck, if we're willing to talk to doctors about pumping for Willie, it doesn't seem to be such a big deal to add brain chemistry to the discussion list.

I think there are two huge things in your favor. One is that you can recognize you are low and that your attitude/behavior is the issue, not the events that set you off. As Shakespeare might have observed it then follows as the night the day that having identified the problem you have an excellent chance of solving it. The second is that you've reached out to the members here for advice. You may be a little unhinged, as I suspect we all are, and you may benefit from some brain chemistry help, but all in all I'd say you had reasonably good mental health for a man in our position.

Since starting out on this PCa adventure I've often thought of a visit to the Tower of London and a pub near by called the Drawn and Quartered. On a plaque outside is a quotation from Samuel Pepys, October 13, 1660: "I went to see Major General Harrison hung, drawn, and quartered. He was looking as cheerful as any man could in that condition." I think we are all about as cheerful as we can be in our condition, Timmy. You included.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Posted 7/28/2009 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
Tim,

My emotions have been all over the map and will usually hit late in the afternoon as I grow tired. I have lashed out a few times but most of the time I stop and think before I say something that is hurtful. As men no one really gave us a roadmap on how to deal with emotions so anger sometimes is the easiest route, and usually is a secondary emotion. But boy there are some moments when I want to be the old me and the new me has changed and still adjusting to not being 100%. I am working on an "attitude of graditute" and also focusing on the things that bring me joy. Jumping in a cold moutain lake or going for a walk also seems to help. If the Dr. says take medicine,take it and it might just be temporary. Hang in there and focus on the good as much as possible. And when your down, the only thing you can trust is movement, because our thinking becomes distorted. So go do something when it occurs.

Michael

Posted 7/28/2009 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
Tim,
I had minor depression few weeks after my surgery. With incontinence and ED I felt inferior to all people around. I thought of myself as different. I use to tell my wife that I was a defective product. All of that is behind me now and will be behind you as well. Once you become continent and you solve the ED problems naturally or with medication/pump/injections you will feel normal again. Then all you will worry about is the PSA test.
Posted 7/28/2009 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Tim,
I'm glad you posted your question. I've been dealing with the same issues though I'm pre-surgery but coming up fast. It helps just to know that I'm not alone in these at times huge mood swings and feelings. I appreciate the comments that members have posted on dealing with all of our issues that affect us.

Larry
Posted 7/29/2009 2:57 PM (GMT 0)
Tim,
I am one week post op and quit my vicodin cold turkey two days ago. I too have been having mood swings. I got so mad at this stupid situation I decided I had to "get moving here!" I put on my leg bag for the first time since leaving the hospital and went for a 1 mile walk wearing one pound arm weights for extra effort. I got as far as 1/4 mile and re-checked my plumbing to find the tubing full of old blood and chunks of pasta bits. (Those were pasta bits in there, weren't they?) Rather than leave the gumbo mix and my stomach contents as a donation to the neighborhood deer and horseflies, I turned around and came home for some recreational TV watching.
I knew I was doing something stupid but emotions got the best of me. Thanks for the heads up.
Listen to the experienced guys here. They really know their stuff - unfortunately.
I wish you the best.
Jeff
Today's soup of the day is chicken broth. Whew!
Posted 7/29/2009 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
Jeff, that walk wasn't stupid. Walking is what is gonna get all those nasties out of your bladder, so keep at it. Drink lots of water before hand, then walk. If you can find a little private spot to empty the bag during your walk, once you see the after-parts of the surgery in the bag, then drain it out on a tree root or something...lol People will think you are just tieing your shoelace. smilewinkgrin Don't let that junk spook you, its good to get the gunk out...makes healing much easier. Walking or other purposeful activities will give you a sense of purpose and help with the depression. Sitting in the chair and moaning just makes it worse, so I found out, when I had my post-surgery bout of it.
Posted 7/29/2009 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Jeff, James is quite right.
You need to get the gross stuff out of your body, its too bad we have to see stuff like that, but its part of the healing process. The walk taught you an important healing lesson, to listen to your body, on that outing, at 1/4 mile, which I think is great btw, you did the right thing and turn around. Like James said, and I can tell you from long term catheter wearing, you soon become a master of doing a dump outside and no one ever notices. The old kneal down and pretend to tie your shoes. If you are wearing a leg bag, you do not want it to over fill, so if you have to dump it, you dump it. Doesn't bother me a bit knowing that thousands of dogs, squirels, birds, etc are pissing and crapping all over the place. Good luck to you in your recovery.

David in SC
Posted 7/29/2009 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Special Note to Ed C:

Its funny that you mentioned the term "defective" in referring to yourself. When I am hurting and or depressed about my current plight, I have often told my wife that I don't understand why she wants to hang around me, because I am defective. As a nurse, she sees much worse on a daily patient, including at least 1-3 deaths a week at her facility, so she assures me that I am not.

When you don't pee normal anymore, or have the ED problems that many have here, when you don't have your former energy and endurance, when you have severe mood swings, when you are always fighting psa anixety, etc, it's easy to feel less a man, or at least a normal man. We, myself included, forget about our good traits and attributes. That's when one of my adult children will say something out of the clear blue that lets me know that I am still the same dad in their eye. It's so d*** hard sometime dealing with this hellish PC, but we all do, and we get by day by day by day, and not to sound lame, but life goes on, with or without us.

All we can do is to be thankful for what we do have, work with what we have been given, and do all best in our new altered states because of PC. Easier said than done? Yes, but I try to do that, and I am sure you all do too.

David in SC
Posted 7/29/2009 6:18 PM (GMT 0)
It's a very good question.  I thought I was ready to handle all that they through at me.  I was wrong.  These are the things the doctor told me not to worry about because they only affect a small percent of PCa patients.

  • Surgery was delayed becaused the bone scan found something.
  • Prostate surgery recovery was delayed because I sprung a leak
  • ED problems were no progressing.  At the 18 month mark doctor informs me that he's not supprised as I had lost one set of nerves and the other had been damaged.  News to me.
  • My PSA bumped up for two tests.  It's gone back down thankfully.  They have no idea why it went up.

Two months ago I lost it when the doctors gave me my PSA results and ED news.  With the economy and all, I was already under a lot of stress.  I ended up in hospital and am now seeing a physiatrist.  I'm hoping to have a plan in place for when the next shoe drops.

I have such admirations for those of us who fight on, when they know the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

Are you ready?

Posted 7/29/2009 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Worried guy I am in awe of you taking that walk. My big walk of the day was walking to get the mail on a short driveway. I remember one day coming to a big ant hill I stared at it for a few minutes and said what the hell and walked around it. Stepping over it was to much. walking they say it is good to do but i did really short jaunts because I did not like the feeling of the cath. The best info I can give you is listen to these guys and ask questions. I did and they helped me as you can see I am new a month or so but these guys have helped me so much. More then any DR has and we d not have to pay them. Ask and Ask some more they have showen me that as all people recover different allot of people have the same problems you have. As you can see I started this topic and I am still struggling but I am working on this with them . By the way I am having soup to day so I think I will just have the sandwich and skip the soup
Timmy
Posted 7/30/2009 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
Timmy,
I just rolled out of bed and had to check and see how you were doing. There's a spark of that all important humor.
I've got 1500 ml of room temp chicken broth that I would be honored to share it all with members of this esteemed group.
Posted 7/30/2009 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Timmy and Worried,

You guys are half way home I think. If you both can keep that sense of humor, and learn to just laugh about the crazy things we have to do, or see, or endure, you guys will be fine.

Laughing, even tho it may not be truly funny, is a more pleasant emotion than crying.

Reminds me of a time I was loading some manure into a manure spreader from a local farmer for my garden. Just as I got the bucket up to the edge of the spreader, a huge glob of fresh manure fell off the back of the bucket and hit my foot, which made the bucket go even higher, which in turn made more manure fall on my head, in my lap, and fill the Bobcat cockpit. I distinctly remember sitting there, and telling myself, just laugh, this could only be funny, and after a while, it was funny.

We are all sitting in piles of crap. Some bigger piles than others. If we don't learn how to find some humor in our situations, then crying, anger , and depression are sure to set in.

Good luck guys, and keep on smiling !
Posted 7/30/2009 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
@goodlife Oh man! Where's a video camera when you need one. That would have easily qualified for AFV any day - at least $10,000 worth.

I just can't help finding the humor in things. Some of the posts here really crack me up. There are some many times during the day I look down and think of an analogy and have no one to share it with. You guys understand perfectly! We are talking about PC but still, you find humor where it is. ...

I'll have to remember your quote: "We're all sitting in piles of crap..." I'm sure it will come in handy. Thanks!
Jeff
Posted 7/31/2009 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
We all process these things differently, and some of us are more seriously ill than others - so there's no one solution that works for everyone.  Some people let the cancer and it's removal dominate their lives and dictate what they do post-surgery, others just get on with their lives and don't pay much attention to what happened.  You're at a point not long after surgery, so don't expect too much too soon - and keep things in perspective.  You're alive - the sex life and normal urinary functions will sort themselves out and are largely out of our control.  And don't read too many sad stories of others - make some good ones for yourself.  Be well.
Posted 8/1/2009 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
This is a great post. I followed for a little while before I finally decided to write. Timmy it is absolutely normal to feel stress after a life changing event such as cancer and especially surgery. Not knowing what stress was in your life prior to this I am going to assume there was some. Usually a diagnosis of cancer magnifies what was in your life and then when you include what we feel has been taken away. As time goes on you will find a peace and a level of normalcy even though it will be different. Relationships with our loved ones and with ourselves are being redefined. Give yourself time to adjust and if possible get some exercise. The mood swings will hang around for awhile. I would encourage to think about life and all the positive aspects of it. Trust me Timmy there are more good things than bad.
I could write forever about this topic because peoples feelings and emotions are near and dear to me. For the sake of space and the forum I will keep it short. Please know I, like many here care deeply about you. Hang in there and regardless what you feel please share it with us.

Peace and love
dale
Posted 8/2/2009 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
Timmy,
Yesterday, the LPN at the Uro finalized my divorce from Cathy. I no longer have to make it through the day, putting one foot in front of the other, trying not to step on my tubing.
Soup won't be served at this restaurant any more. All out of gumbo, and chicken broth. Now it's layers of Lasagna. Lots of layers of half cooked lasagna...
Life sure throws some wicked curve-balls . Four months ago I'd never would have believed I'd be doing my own version of "Changing of the Guard" in a porta-john. I seem to find this whole situation strangely funny. Maybe that's is a defense mechanism or I'm just crazy. Who knows.
I do know that if my wife hears me sing "Look at me I'm Walking." one more time, she's going to send me back to the Vet, I mean "Uro", to have my vocal cords modified.
Sleep well,
Jeff
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply