Posted 9/17/2009 1:48 PM (GMT 0)
Les, your opinion is always welcome, you are trusted to me, and your own experiences very real, and I am the first to say, I don't have all the answers. If you research the latest on PSA velocity, it seems that outside of a miracle, nothing I have done or will do (including this salvage RT), with or with out HT added, is ultimately going to do me any good in the long run. I picked the short straw with the velocity issue.
On the stricture side, I am now one day shy of having had the laser corrective surgery, that bout cost me another 38 days on a foley, and for about the first full week, I was peeing almost at pre-surgery levels, which was intense. Now, I can feel and tell that my flow is getting weaker and weaker, lots of bladder neck pain again, even 3 Advil's can barely cut the pain at night when it is at is worse. What I thinki? The think the painful dialation did the most good, temporairly, not convinced the latest surgical effort did me any good. Now that the cath has been out for over 3 weeks, the urethra is reducing back to its former blocked size on its own. My guess, not a doctor.
At least my new woman dr. is very much in tune with the issue, and working hand in hand with my uro/surgeon. She is now my primary care giver, not him, so if we want to do something different, its out of his hand.
I was in a real negative funk yesterday, try not to get like that, but anyone that has PC will have those days, at different times on different days. My negative thinking was, what is even the point of going through all this with the radiation, knowing that I am going to have issues, and based on my stats, it's probably going to fail. What a lot of money and time down the drain, and for what?
I know I am not suppose to feel this way, and then most times, I feel like I am in the fighting mode. But I also learned many years ago in my past, that be careful to pick your fights, you can't fight them all, and yes, there are plenty of people that can kick your butt!
Since my surgery last Novemember, I have only had, at the most, a two week period of time where I am not fighting pain from one source or the other, all connected to PC one way or the other. When I did the surgery, I went into it tough, and thought, I can do this, I can win, and I will recover fast, and by now, I expected to be cancer free, healthy feeling again, and employed. As of this date, none of the above has happened.
Not so much that I have given up hope, just readjusting my thinking based on reality, not what I want or expect things to be.
We got to get the message out there, Les, early testing, new testing methods, more research, etc. etc.
Looks like you are holding your own still, and that makes me happy.
Thanks for your words, always appreciated.
David in SC
ps Will be talking to my county VA rep, to see if we can get some paperwork started on the Viet-Nam Vet/Prostate Cancer disability claim going.