Nine days to Surgery - Starting to get nervous

Burlcodad said...
mostly at night Not sleeping well


Has anyone cancelled or postponed their surgery? In my mind I know surgery is the right choice, however with no symptons its hard to cope with why i am putting myself through an operation. (Answer is I don't want to be dying ten years from now saying if only I only I had the surgery back in 2010 - although I realize that surgery may not be a cure it it the best first treatment option for me) Ive never been knocked out and the fear of that is getting to me.



Has anyone ever had a surgeon prescribe some anxiety med in advance of surgery?

Yes people have canceled or postponed surgery. If you're not comfortable with your decision I suggest you do cancel or at least delay it until you are. This is a major operation with possible long term quality of life effects to weigh in. Afterward there aren't any do overs. A delay of a few months won't change the outcome. There are other options you should check out and eliminate first. Then pick what you think is best for you. How long after your diagnosis did you decide on surgery? I understand how you feel facing such a choice when you have no symptoms. I felt the same like we're taking it all on faith. Believe me being sedated isn't that big a deal, haven't you ever had a colonoscopy? But I digress. If you're having second thoughts about major surgery then do postpone it. You can always reschedule it for later.

A case of the nerves is not new or unique when facing surgery. And the fear of the anesthesia is also common.

But how do you handle it is the question.

Think back to the discovery phase you have been through since your diagnosis. By now you know far more about PCa and the options for dealing with it than you ever wanted. You have done your research and made the decision that is right for you. You have found the doctor that you have confidence in and trust him to make things right for you. At this point you have to turn it over to the medical team you have assembled.

I know that all of that seems easy to say, but we have all done that and found peace with our decisions.

Turn your thoughts to the positive. You found your cancer early. All of your reports indicate it is contained and removing the prostate will take it out. From that point forward you can live your life the way you choose it and not one dictated by PCa.

I am sure the regulars here are tired of me saying it, but my personal mantra for years has been, "Every Day is A Bonus". It has come to mean a whole lot more since my diagnosis in July 09.

So kick back and really enjoy life as it is now until your surgery. Take your wife out to a few more dinners. Enjoy the great glass of wine. Enjoy the romantic evenings. Keep your loved ones close and gain strength from their support, they are all in this with you.

Many of these things you may have to put on hold for a while after surgery, so don't take them for granted now. Just enjoy all of them to the fullest.

In your heart you know you have made the right decision for you. It's not in your hands any more, you have turned it over. Rest comfortably at night with these thoughts and look forward to the brighter day when you no longer can say you have Prostate Cancer.

Bless you and your family,

Sonny

Hi Ray..........all very natural to feel this way so close to surgery. The advice the guys have given for the runup to surgery is good advice: take the time to enjoy and live in the moment as much as possible between now and next week. I'll try to be your personal indian guide on this one, since you and I have the same surgeon. I used the 5 months between biopsy and surgery to not only educate myself with research, etc., but also to get into the best physical and emotional shape I could prior to surgery. Which, ironically, gave me the same feeling you describe----"why should I be having this if I feel so darn good with no symptoms"-----but each time I would come back to the realization that I had made this decision, and the only thing to do was go forward and get on with the next stage of the process. Trust me, you'll be in good hands at HUP, not only with Dr. Lee but with the whole pre-op and post-op team as well. That said, I still had anxiety, as we all do, before surgery. My GP had prescibed a very low dose of anti-anxiety meds in the runup to surgery, that I could take as needed. I asked ahead of time if it would be OK to take a dose the morning of surgery, just to take the edge off. I was told I could, as long as I informed preop as to what and how much, so they could account for it when administering anesthesia. Then, once in preop, and while being shaved, etc., they start you on a little cocktail of their own....from there it's some small talk with the anesthesiologist, a quick glimpse of the robot, and the next thing you know, you're being wheeled back to your room. I know how you're feeling, you wish the 13th could be tomorrow----or never! But you'll get there, and be on the other side with most of us real soon. I would ask your GP about a little anti-anxiety meds or sleeping aids on the lead up to surgery; you need to be as relaxed and well rested as possible.

 

Take care,

Arnie in DE

Burlcodad,

Here is what I've been suggesting to people who have their surgery scheduled and are feeling nervous (or even if you are not nervous). Ask your doc for some samples of Levitra, Cialis and Viagra on a couple of pretenses. One is that you are having some performance anxiety due to nerves and need a little help. Two is that you can do a little homework and gauge which ones work OK for you now at pre-surgery (and thus know which ones to use post surgery). Your Doc might really like that second idea since everyone is always poking around post-surgery not knowing which ones to try next.

Even if you think you are are still like a studly 20 yr old, you may be surprised at how much longer you'll be able to go with a little help from your L, C and V friends.

Also if you have never used them before, there's the excitement there of trying them out. Kind fun to try them -- and that's what you need about now - more fun stuff.

Be sure to report back on your findings!

Burlcdad:

I was about to ask the same question. Never been in a hospital either so plenty scared. Trouble sleeping all thru the night likely caused by the Lupron and now associated hot flashes that wake me every 30 minutes or so.

Pre-op is for the 12th. followed by open surgery on the 20th, with the doctor I wanted and trust but there are still many worries. The hospital is a bit of over an hour away and yesterday the highway to there was closed because of snow, so if my schedule had been for yesterday, neither myself or the doc might not have made it and then what ? We may have a reasonable health system here but wait times are longer than they should be and a new appointment could take additional months.

As for postponing  or canceling, I think not since the doctor indicated that my current numbers indicate aggressive cancer, best treated by open surgery NOW.

Although I have done a fair bit of reading and resourcing ( and I love this board and the folks on it) I have to respect the advice from the experts.

Oddly, although I'm scared to death of any hospital, it's the catheder and it's sideshow that I think about most.

Lets keep in touch.

Jerry.

.

Burl, you have been given a boatload of good advice to your question.

If you are just nervous nervous about the upcoming surgery, 100%, and if needed, even your GP or surgeon could put you on something mild to help you chill between now and then.

If you are worried about being put under, I may be the odd one but I enjoy being put under. It is total and utter bliss, you dont know anything dont feel anything. Some people have trouble coming out from being put under, but its usually related to nausea, and they usually give you something for that to prevent it.

If you are 2nd guessing your decision, only you and you alone know in your heart of hearts what you want to do. I had some doubts even on the gurney waiting to leave for the OR, but I thought through an outline in my head why I was doing what I was doing, and remembering all the knowledge I had learned along the way that led me to that decision.

Like I told my darling daughter as I was walking her down the ailse 5 years ago, if you even have 1% doubt, we can just turn around and walk right out of here. It would be better to do that then to enter a wrong marriage. Same kind of thinking, dont worry about what the hospital or surgeon will think. Make sure this is what you want, no instant replays, no rewinds.

We are here for you either way. But its most assuredly normal to have moments of fear, panic, doubt when I is about to have a major and complex surgery. If it didn't bother you at all, I would be more concerned for you.

David in SC

Ray, sounds like you are coming up with a plan to dealing with it. Happy to hear that. Let your doctor help you get through this, it's stressful enough without adding to it. In the end, sure you will do fine, we have all been there done that, with us surgery guys.

If you are certain, as you are saying about your decision of procedure, then the rest of it is just normal human nature and common fears.

David in SC

Arnie

Do you remember how long your operation took?

Ray

Arnie said...
I had undergone surgeries before robotic, Ray, but I can understand the apprehension of someone who has never gone under before. The moment of truth will happen and you won't be aware of it. Next thing you know, you're done! Of course, our individual constitutions are very different, but all things being equal, my experience coming out of recovery was that I found myself in the same elevator as my wife going back to my room to her shock at how alert and conversational i was, even on the gurney! (and so was I).........I certainly lapsed in and out of naps once back in the room, but I had total recall of all conversations that were happening in my room. Not much in the pain area either. Incisions were sore, but no real internal pain. (Might have something to do with the morphine drip) :-) If you do, they'll be at your beckoned call for meds or anything else you need.

Don't try to be a hero if you do have discomfort. Ask and ye shall receive!

Arnie

As of now i dont know what time it is scheduled for - I have to call next Tuesday afternoon.   I am going to call now and make sure they have all my pre op reports.  My GP had them when she wrote the clearance letter so I assume that they do because they called me last Monday and asked if I wanted to move the surgery up to today because they had a cancellation.  I have plans to go to AC with my wife and daughter for a dance clinic my daughter is in this weekend so I didnt change the date.

 I don't know why I have these questions about incline position and length of surgery - its not like I'm gonna be aware of it or have much to do with it at that point.

Ray

I'm no good at addressing the emotional component, since I'm a pretty callous SOB. But with respect to anxiety over anesthesia, it may be worthwhile to discuss with your surgeon the possibility of having the surgery done with a spinal block - in which case you'll be pretty much awake and aware during the procedure. No pain or sensation, but you can see and hear what's going on.

That's what was done with me, and since my surgeon had a particularly rockin' choice of OR music (Aerosmith, the Stones, Thorogood, etc.) I had a blast. They also shot me full of morphine, which is its own little freakshow if you're awake to experience it. Was even able to confirm with the doc as he was stapling me shut that he found no unpleasant surprises. My open surgery lasted maybe 2 hours total.

Hey Ray, there's a reason my "handle" is Sleepless. Welcome to the club.

It wasn't being knocked out, per se, that worried me, it was dying on the table. So I called my surgeon and told him of my concern. He told me that with modern anesthetics and monitoring etc. the most danger my life was in on the day of surgery was the drive to the hospital first thing in the morning. "Once I get you in my OR --- you've never been safer." I forget the exact statistic on OR anesthetic problems, including dying, but it was like one in many many thousands and what really settled me down was his saying that the stats weren't about people of my age, in my condition, having a daVinci operation. They included all sorts of people in bad shape having lengthy major, major surgery. I left that conversation totally convinced the most danger I'd be in all day really was the car ride to the hospital in the morning. I came to the realization that the reason it was scary was it was new to me. Every day in hundreds if not thousands of ORs around the world people were being knocked out, waking up, and not long afterwards resuming their lives cancer free. That sounded good to me.

On the morning of my surgery when I met the anesthetist I told him I was glad he was on my case as my surgeon had said he'd trust him to put him to sleep and wake him up again, anytime. I told him it was the waking up part I really liked about the endorsement. The anesthetist said not to worry, "If I don't wake you up, I don't get paid."

No matter what we say Ray, you're going to worry. You wouldn't be normal if you didn't. And, in a few weeks, you'll be here writing guys about to head into the OR saying, "don't worry ---- you'll be fine," just as I'm saying to you now.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

Burlcodad,

Like you, I had never had surgery or even been in the hospital prior to my DaVinci surgery.  What you are feeling is natural. DO NOT BACK OUT!!!

Dr. Lee is one of the best in the Philadelphia area.  I had no pain after the proceedure at all. Just some slight discomfort.  I could have had morphine or oxycodone for the pain but, the only thing I needed was a couple of tylenol.

Surgery is the best option. If you have radiation and the cancer comes back then it will be difficult to have surgery because it will be more complicated. 

Hang it there, you'll be fine.  You sound like me 4 months ago.  Now I am glad I had the surgery and I know I am cancer free.

Best of luck and feel free to email meif you want to talk person to person.

Len