I think I know what's wrong with you, since I've had almost precisely the same symptoms, and your symptoms have been well described in all that I have researched about this condition. You have chronic non-specific prostatitis.
I visited several urologists, none of whom diagnosed it correctly, tho they were ready to do the cystoscope, a form of torture, which wouldn't have given them any information they could use. Finally I found a doctor who knew what to do. The very best medical treatment for your condition is a digital massage of your prostate through the rectum. When this doctor did it, it hurt so much he lifted me into the air with just his finger tip. He did the bottom and both sides of the prostate. I had immediate, major reduction in symptoms. Two more of those treatments, a week apart, helped enormously. It didn't cure it though. This was in 1976 and I still have the problem.
But the non-medical treatment I discovered can help you keep in under control. Green tea extract. This has amazing anti-inflammatory properties. I take five capsules of this stuff, twice a day (I use the decaffeinated version). It helps enormously with the symptoms. At the same time it has also completely eliminated my chronic sinusitis, another form of inflammation, which had driven me crazy for years. If you take it, start out small, maybe two caps twice a day, and titrate the dose -- incrementally increase it until you get the desired results.
I also share your prostate-sensitivity to alcohol, one of the more disappointing characteristics of the condition. If your treatments work well enuff you can indulge, as I do, and if you get a flareup of the prostatitis you stop the booze and the inflammation will die down.