What to have on hand at home, post-op?

What should a wife have on hand at home following husband's prostatectomy?

My husband, after much deliberation, consultations, research and the usual tests, is having surgery on Aug. 16. I am preparing a home recovery room for him in the TV room, where kitchen, bathroom, telephone and of course, the remote control are nearby.

I expect that perhaps the first few nights after his release, I will sleep downstairs so I can be at his beck and call. My office is nearby, and I can work and home, so that's not a problem. I can be there when he needs me.

I am looking for advice on what to have on hand - I've got thermometer, blood pressure meter, etc., - and we've plenty of books, DVDs and a laptop computer to keep him occupied during recuperation.

Any other ideas?

I have been lurking a lot here, and have found everything so incredibly useful.

Mimi

google search : "post prostatectomy care instructions"

Tons & tons of repetitive info plus a new bit of enlightenment
every now & then. These are the instructions the different medical
centers give you upon release from their facility.

fogball

Mimi723 -
- it sounds like everything is set up for a superbowl weekend - all within an easy reach -
- do keep in mind part of recovery is walking - and walking around -

- stairs are not recommended for the first while - I was restrict to one flight of stairs a day for the first three weeks ( catheter was still in) - but encouraged to walk on a level area - a bit more each day -

-fatigue is a good possibility and he may try to push things to make them " the way they were before".

- a loose pair of sweat shorts ( dark colour) so he can pull them up above the incision ( see stevemac1's posting above) - sorta makes you look like Fred Mertz of "I love Lucy"..
-patience and a few grains of salt will help him and you as the caregiver to get through the ups and downs of the next few weeks following surgery

-also - you may not need to sleep downstairs, unless he is having complications - he may be fine on his own and may need the quiet time to get his head around what has happened.
-and you may need that time as well -

all the best to you and your hubbie

BRONSON

I can only comment on the recovery from robotic surgery, but I think you may be pleasantly surprised at how few special accommodations your husband will need during his recovery.

about the only thing I really needed from my wife was to make my meals, which were very bland at first--like jello, broth, rice etc. Always having a full water pitcher nearby also made things easier.

I was prepared for the worst, didn't use most of the stuff I bought especially for the recovery.

Good luck! Dan

If you have an extra bathroom that can be designated for his use it would be handy. We have an 2nd bath that my wife set up for me with a small folding table in it. It was real helpful for me for having all my stuff in one place where I did not need to bend over for it. On the table were:

three different types of depends, the diaper type, pull up type and pads

washcloths

wipes (they say to use the adult wipes and not baby wipes) for urinary leakage

baby diaper rash lotion (I had really bad rashes from the leakage)

something to read (helps with the BM's) word search puzzle magizine was great!

surgical dressing tape for holding cathedor tubes in place

clipboard and paper pencil to make notes of things for the doctor

also handy  were

an old pair of pajama bottoms that you can cut one leg off at the knee, makes it easier to route the cath tube.

once the cath is out you will of course need a good airtight wastbasket with liners for used pads.

Hope all goes well, the post surgery time really passes quickly.

Wow! Lots of good ideas. When I came home at noon to post this, I thought maybe it was a dumb question.

I will check out all you links and do a better Google search on post-op info - guess I was using the wrong search phrase. Love the idea os a special place in the downstairs bathroom for his stuff.

And I really like the thought of not having to sleep too much on the living room sofa.

Thank you, gentlemen!

Mimi

I bought a small Wal Mart Sterilite 3 drawer plastic chest (abt $10) for all the stuff in the bathroom.

It should be in the "really useful list" at the top of the forum, but I used the J&J "coach" bandage (aka Walgreens Tender Tape) - one above, one below the cath tube Y joint. Regular tape soaked in leakage creates a nice raw spot, and you'd best shave that spot, or else -
The lighter "paper" tape gets soaked and will not hold.

These are stretch bandages, but they will interlock when wrapped over. If they get wet, a gentle wash will work. They are good for 2 or 3 uses.

All men respond differently. Going into the big dance, many are confident, not too worried, and the same guy you've been married to for years.

When they come out, and maybe particularly when they come home, they may not be the same man who left. They have no prostate, they have a tube and bag hanging form a place things aren't supposed to hang. They have some pain and discomfort.

Most importantly, they are starting to realize that life has changed fairly dramatically for them, at least for a while. Some men just want to be left alone at this stage. They may already feel like less of a man, so all the hovering and mothering can be kind of like rubbing salt in a wound of a man who feeling a little bewildered, less manly, a little depressed, and sometimes, just wants to be left alone while he tries to sort it all out.

I guess what I am saying is that some preparation is great, but I have seen wives on here really hurt because they were pushed away. Don't be hurt by it, and try if you can to let your husband feel as tho he is in control. To many men, myself included, that is important. I needed to make decsions on what I needed. Even pre-surgery, and post surgery shopping trips by me with my spouse were important.

You certainly know your husband, and this may be a bunch of nonsense to you, but the emotional side of the surgery is harder sometimes to prepare for than any physical issues you may have every supply on hand to deal with.

Good luck on your surgery. This really can be a meaningful experience in your relationship. My wife and I are closer than we have ever been. There is more to love than the physical side of love.

Thanks, Aimzee. Our husbands are roughly the same age and will be going in the same week. I will keep you in my thoughts; please do the same for me.

Goodlife, thank you so much for such thoughtful advice. I have actually thought of that, sort of. My husband and I had a similar experience 7.5 years ago when he had quadruple bypass surgery - he slept a lot and needed time alone. There was a bit of depression. I know this will be different, and the healing will be more than physical. Fortunately, my job will keep me very busy, so he'll have plenty of time alone. I'm giving myself the gift of a ton of books so I can get through that time, too.

Thanks so much, all of you.

Mimi

We live on an island, so my wife thought it necessary to buy every item anyone suggested, just so she'd have it on hand. Fortunately, she kept receipts. We (I) used a square plastic bucket to carry around the the large catheter, gauze tape supplied by the hospital to keep the catheter tube in place (I was paranoid it was going to fall out. Of course, it didn't). I already had sweat pants. She bought briefs to replace the boxers. I found the less material, the better as there was less to dampen, Depends (I used 2, one when the catheter came off, and one that night to see how bad things were, pads from Walmart (mens pads and women's maxi pads), and that was about it. Since I was home when the catheter was in, I just walked around in sweat pants with my trusty plastic bucket in my hand. Good luck with the surgery.

Get a toiltet seat riser (you'll use it for 10 days but it's worth it) and have comfortable chair as a change from the bed.  COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO SLEEP ON, MAYBE!

Paella

Hello all,

My husband is scheduled for his Da Vinci op on the 20th of August and all this has been really useful. There are plenty of RPs happening mid-August!

We did 5 separate pre-op medical appointments today - a catchup with the urologist nurse, the hospital, the sexual health doctor, the MRI, speciman collection and we even squeezed in time to pick up some baggy sweatpants. We both took a day off work. It answered many questions including the fact that our hospital uses velcro, not tape so that's one less thing to worry about.

What I have realised today is that although my husband is super grateful for all the help/research/support he doesn't want me to hover (and he can't tell me because it will make him feel ungrateful). So I am going to step back a little and let him feel more in control of the prep for the op. It may be good for me too.

An

Mimi,

I woke up with the catheter secured to my thigh by a StatLock, Foley 2-way catheter stabilization device, CAT/REF FOL0102. The "Y" clamps right into it and is easily removed for cleaning or switching between leg bag/overnight bag. The hospital gave me two extras but the original stayed attached the whole ten days through showers, ... www.statlock.com (I have the two extras, unopened if anyone wants them I can put in the mail) A nurse slipped me a hemostat as I was preparing to leave the hospital, for clamping the cath tube before the "Y" when changing bags. Worked well so that you don't leak all over before you get the new bag on. A little tape just past the "y" connection would have helped for sleeping.
Sleeping, I slept on the right side of the bed as my cath was connected to my right leg. I let the bag sit on the floor and attached the elastic clip on the hose to the bed. Not much rolling posible, flat on my back. The first few nights I slept with an extra pillow against me to my left, between my wife and I, not to protect me from her as she questions but to keep me from trying to roll.

As far as my first week home from the hospital, my wife of 32 years watches three of our grand kids every day, ages 6 months, 18 months and 3.5 years. I Love those kids and always play with them and give them plenty of attention, But! This was too much to deal with the first week home, it really wore me out. I never thought it would but those little ones have more energy than the "Energizer Bunny" on steroids! My wife thought she was keeping them occupied and out of my hair and tried hard but never asked me how I was doing or what she could do to help, too busy with the routine. It came down to me making a comment and her taking it personal, still haven't worked through it ---
***Thank You goodlife !!! I will have her read your thoughts to start with, ... I did need some peace and quiet, I finally got two days and felt like a new person.

What I needed was to walk around a bit, sit a bit and take naps as needed. No one activity/position for any extended time. Have some time in the mornings to shower, clean and change cath bags and relax a bit, (small house, one bathroom, tough but doable) Baggy shorts were nice and loose legged pants.
I had a JP drain tube in for two days after leaving the hospital which I had to empty and log every two hours or so, no big deal and constipation/no flow for two days home, mostly liquid diet, herbal laxative tea and stool softener finally got it going but it is still slow. Lots of time in the bathroom with cramps and little action for first few days home.

Very true, each of us are different with varried experiences/reactions, just be sensitive to your husbands feelings and needs and don't take it personal if he's a little cranky or tired.

I'm doing pretty good now, went camping with the kids this past weekend (two week after surgery) even took a 4-wheeler out on some trails - may have over done it a bit but my Dr. said no resriction, just stop if it hurts, I did.

I wish all you August members the Best and a speedy recovery!!!

Meryle
Loveland, CO.

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Age: 50 in good health other than PC
weight 170
height 5' 10''
No symptoms to speak of
PSA 10.4
Prostate not enlarged

Samples taken mid-April
6 out of 12 samples cancer
1) gleason score 3+4 involving 30% Right Base
2) gleason score 3+4 involving 40% Right _
3) gleason score 4+4 involving 50% Right Apex

Bone scan clean except a 1 mm spot on left scapula
CT scan clean

Biopcy of Scapula was negative, Doctor says good/bad news, we want to watch it.

07/16/2010 - Laparoscopic Radical Prostatectomy (LRP) @ MCR, Loveland, CO
07/18/2010 - Home
07/20/2010 - JP Drain removed
07/26/2010 - X-Ray/Catheter removal
07/26/2010 - Pathology Report GOOD!!! no spread detected
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