August Surgeries

Hello August Buddies,

I have been a little MIA of late and apologizing although knowing I don't need to. A bit of denial, a bit of separating from this illness, a bit of life getting in the way. But you have all been on my mind and I check in ocassionally to read posts.

Aimzee, so glad Ron is feeling better and a bit frisky. It's all good. I think it's important for our husband's to find themselves, their new limits, or explore even new ways of pleasuring us and themselves. M says the sensation without erection is still there. The arousal is happening and he feels "orgasmic" even if not hard. I like the intimacy so I encourage it at all times. He sees the doc next week and of course will be talking more about treatment as well as ED issues.

Update on M is that he is still having incontinence issues. Not as many pads as before. Dry for the most part overnight. Leaking when standing or walking too much. But he knows when he has to go. He is kegeling but isnt feeling like it's doing much. He has had a few clots and stains on his pads over the last few days. The doc's office says it's normal since we are still only a month out from the Robotic surgery.

Of course, we await the first PSA test and results and then the discussion about treatment options and the timing of such things.

Hoping the other August surgery buddies are doing well. Welcome to the newbies or anyone reading. JUmp in at anytime.
Judy

An,

I'm glad to hear your husband is doing so well.  I also notice he's a lot younger than I am.  I'm 65, and I think I'm beginning to see the difference that age makes in terms of ED issues.  Also, only the nerves on my right side were spared, so that's not an ideal situation for speedy recovery.

Prior to surgery, I really didn't understand what ED would be like.  I remember saying to my wife that the worst thing would be to retain the desire for sex but not be able to perform.  Impotence without desire would be easier, I thought.

Well, I'm glad the desire remains, the interest is still here, and hope remains that performance issues will eventually resolve themselves, though I never truly believed the surgery would actually render me incapable.  I haven't started any rehabilitation treatment, so there's still a lot of hope.  I also did not understand beforehand that orgasm is possible without an erection, so that's a pleasant surprise, although a dry orgasm is generally less satisfying than the traditional kind.  It brings satisfaction, but I sure like the old kind better.  I've been reading a lot about pumps and their beneficial effects in promoting rehabilitation, and I intend to discuss this with my doctor next week.  I may prefer that approach over ingesting large quantities of chemicals.

We men who are blessed with loving and understanding wives are lucky indeed.  I can't imagine what it would be like to have a wife who exhibits no patience, or who voices her disappointment in what has been lost.  Bless you women!

Hi Aimzee,

While I was going through the yananow site I found this mentor with testicle pain.

http://www.yananow.net/Mentors/RonV.htm

It sounded like lots of tests were done but it ended up being an infection which was cured by antibiotics. I thought that perhaps you could e-mail him to get some ideas. Hope this helps.

An

Aimzee,  Yes 25K sounds about right by the time all of people get there bills to me.  So far I am still less than $500.00 out of pocket.  My deductible for the year had already been paid off which is another reason I wanted to get this done before Jan.

  Im glad to hear there is a plan moving forward to deal with that pain.  How long did it take to get the PSA results back?  I saw my doc on the 28th and he said he would call me by the end of the week and he did not.  I would be lying if I said this is not bothering me a bit.  I think I will call his office today.

  Everything else is going good.  I got back on a dirt bike over the weekend, but we wont be telling my doc about that :).

Take care and keep us posted.

Ed

Morning All,

Been taking a break from the forum to just get back to normal life, now I'm finding it hard to catch up on everyone! Ed, I wouldn't worry-we ended up calling the doctor ourselves and then had to wait for them to call back. Aimzee-we havent gotten a bill yet but we get a monthly statement from our insurance company. The hospital charged $34,000-the insurance paid a little over $17,000 which is an agreed price and we paid our yearly deductible. That, by the way,didn't include the doctor or anesthesiologist. And An-best of luck on your new job!

Geoff seems to be almost completely back to normal, which amazes me. He has amitted to having a couple of tiny leaks a couple of times in the late afternoon when we have been working really hard in the boatyard (we have a 34' sailboat we are getting ready to launch in 2 weeks). He was worried he was backsliding but I told him I'm sure it's the up and down ladders, lifting heavy stuff ect. Our sex life is back to normal-or the new normal-Geoff has said the sensation is different, not quite as intense or long lasting but he has said that he is just so grateful that the cancer is gone and everything works. Which reminds me-when I went to get the cialis the first time the pharmacist told me our insurance might pay for it if the doctor would call and say it was for rehab-he did and they agreed to pay for it for 1 year. They said they would review it after the first year. If your insurance company doesn't pay you might try that because it is expensive and I would have never thought of having the doctor call them if my pharmacist hadn't recommended it.

Good luck to everyone on their upcoming psa's-I'll be anxiously waiting to see the results.

Renee

Renee, Ed,

The first day at the new job was great, thanks for the wishes!

Geoff and you Ed are doing so good with your recovery, my husband is a little ways behind you both I think. He wants to play golf but he's a little scared of getting another hernia (he's prone to them) if he does too much before the eight week mark. Also he is a little more fatigued and grey looking at the end of a working day. I think he is also a little stressed by the upcoming PSA test.

Renee, the sailing sounds wonderful and its great that your sex life is back to the new normal. I read a quote here that the new orgasm is like an orchestra without the trumpet section, and Paul laughed and said that was right!

Anyway, our life is getting back to a new normal, and it's spring in Sydney. Summer's just around the corner and my biggest hope is that Paul's PSA comes back undetectable and he feels fully like himself again and we can do our annual beach holiday up the coast with happy hearts.

I wish all those who had their surgery in August and September all the best and a big fat zero.

An

Aimzee,  I did post another thread about my pas results and it was a big ZERO.  I'm sure Ron will be catching up real soon starting with that big ZERO on his report card as well.  It's a good thing that Ron is not anxious about the test and I was not either until my doc did not call on Friday like he said he would.  about the time I was getting ready to pick up the phone and call them on Monday his nurse called me with the results.  Glad Ron is starting to feel a little better, he deserves some easy going and good news.

As far as the durt bikes go, I took it real easy last weekend but this coming weekend will be a different story.  I figure I need to ride as much as I can now before I get too old to do it at all, and it is too much fun getting out there with my boys.

Good luck to everyone with an upcoming test.  I have faith that we will all be ok.

Ed

An,

Just wanted to wish you and Paul the best of luck tommorrow on his psa results. I know it's a bit nerve racking but like Aimzee I'm betting he will be a big fat Zero!!

Renee

I guess we had a very expensive hospital. They billed $51k, though Blue Cross paid them only about $7500. The urologist/surgeon (DaVinci) was over $7830, and the plan allowed about $2000. If you combine all the testing, pathology, surgeon, hospital, and we haven't yet seen the anesthesiologist's bill, the total was about $90k. Our out of pocket expenses will come to about $3k, mainly because I turned 65 a week before the surgery, and they can only bill me what they would bill Medicare, even though I have not yet signed up for Medicare. Our costs for the hospital stay was limited to $200, so that was a good deal. I had my surgery on a Friday morning and wasn't discharged until Monday morning. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone would bill reasonably, rather than bill sky high and then have those amounts negotiated down by insurance? This was in the Chicago suburbs.

At my appointment last Monday, my uro gave me some sample 36-hour Cialis tablets. I'm to take them on Mondays and Thursdays, but can add one on the weekend if we want to give something a try. I've taken two so far and have seen nothing in the way of an effect, but I don't think that's the goal right now. What the doctor is trying to do is encourage a good blood flow to the area to encourage healing and to prevent atrophy from lack of use, until the nerves can heal themselves. If something happens, that's all to the good, but instant sex isn't likely.

An, you might tell Geoff that I've played a lot of golf in recent weeks and have felt no stress on the incision area. It doesn't seem like the golf swing is likely to produce a hernia. I was in a golf outing just yesterday and won a closest to the pin award on a 155-yard par three. I think the surgery has added ten yards to my drives. I figure if I get a couple more organs removed I'll be hitting it like a PGA pro! :)

aimzee,

hoping that your ron pulls a nice big fat zero on that psa test

david.

Aimzee, the urologist gave me about 15 sample tablets of Cialis, told me to take them twice a week, plus perhaps another one on the weekend if we were feeling frisky, and also a prescription for another month's worth of 36-hour Cialis.  No further directions or suggestions, though he led me to believe he wasn't expecting anything dramatic to happen, that this was just part of the process of insuring adequate blood flow to prevent atrophy until the nerves heal themselves and start working again (assuming they ever will, which I'm beginning to wonder about).  I asked him whether I should invest in a pump, and he said not at this point.  I don't know why he said that, since most articles I'm seeing recommend a combination of rehabilitation approaches: injections with ED drugs, or the pump and ED drugs, and so forth.  I'm also seeing more medical articles which lead me to question whether very many men EVER regain sexual function without large amounts of artificial enhancement.  With just one set of nerves saved, I don't think I'm in a great position for return of function.  Going into surgery I felt invincible, as if nothing could take that away from me, but obviously I was wrong.  However, one has to do the intelligent things to keep the possibility open that when, and if, the nerves heal the equipment will still be in good shape.  I told my wife it's like putting a car into long-term storage.  It's wise to run it once a month of so, just to keep the parts lubricated and ready, should we ever have the opportunity to take it back on the highway.

I read an article last night that recommends buying an inexpensive pump at an adult store and using it with no intention of obtaining an erection for intercourse, but just as a means of at least partial inflation to replace the night-time erections which aren't happening, and which normally keep the penile tissues in good health.  You don't need a $400 pump to do that.  Makes sense to me.