Thanks for your input, SanCarlos:
My negative feelings toward HT and/or Chemo for advanced PC if that ends up being my fate is actually a complex compilation of my whole life up to now. I can tell you this, and to other readers, its has nothing to do with the sex act or wanting to be sexually active for years to come. Yes, I am one of the fortunate few, that still hasn't suffered a day of ED either pre-PC, post PC surgery, Post-SRT. Still doesn't make medically sense, but all parts working well as designed - only trade off, as expected, is dry orgasms (I have long stopped worrying about
that) and get long, deeply intensive orgasms in place.
I have been through so many medical ordeals in my life, starting at age 6 months, nearly dying several times of the Whooping Cough, when it use to be a killer.
As an adult, I nearly died from an accute case of pancreatitis at age 28. In intensive care for 10 days, had my first major operation. I was near death in the ER at the time. My wife was barely recovering from recent childbirth, as my daughter was but 2 weeks old. They never figured out how I got it, as I wasn't even a drinker back then.
From the late 80s till 2000, was dealing with my 3 cases of Porocarcinoma, and ultra rare cancer. Its highly metastic by nature, and often fatal, but so few cases are known in medical history. When I got it the 3rd time, in the lymph nodes in my neck, I wasn't given 3 years to live, and I was 47 at the time. 5 operations later, and 35 rounds of "old school" neck and throat radiation treatment later, I still live to tell the tale. The doctor said I had to be at least 10 years clear to begin to feel safe, I have made it almost 11 as of now. BTW, I had it in the scalp twice, and there has only been 6 known cases, ever, in the whole world of that.
It's all about
quality of life, my friend, and everybody views that different, and values it different, and there is no absolute right or wrong. As a nurse, my wife sees those choices being made every day among the patients in her ward.
It's not about
the dying part. I've been in war, Ive been in accidents, etc, not afraid of a physical death. It is accepted that we all have to die. I could have easily died as a teen many times over thinking back to all the dumb things I did to cheat death, it wasn't my appointed time.
With me, its about
who I am, what I think about
myself, how much suffering I want my family to go through. My wife and I both have Living Wills, and neither of us wish to be kept alive at all costs. Another personal decision we all have to think about
.
Whether I have 5 years to go, or 30, I want to remain who I am, feel the way I do mentally and spiritually, I may seem like an as*hole to some, can't please them all, lol. I am who I am, and I don't want to be drugged into being something or someone different. That wouldn't be good or true for my way of thinking.
Some keep saying and promoting the ideal that PC is so slow growing, you won't die of it, etc. I don't buy that, over 30,000 American men alone die officially of it every year. Its a big killer, no point fooling one's self about
that, and its not all Gleason 10 cases filling up the graves. Cancer is cancer, its a wicked thing, and a heartless killer.
I have used both curative cards in my case, surgery and SRT. If it doesn't hold, I just consider that my fate, and will take my chances, and live how I want, and not have this hanging like the Sword of Damascus over my head the rest of my life, and taking drastic steps and horrible meds just to buy some time.
In the end, that's what good hospice is all about
, and good pain management. It's not always as bad as people think, I've been in too many death bed scenes over the years.
So you can see, its not a simple matter with me
David in SC
Post Edited (Purgatory) : 1/3/2011 1:26:04 PM (GMT-7)