Dad in Florida

Hello friends,

Thank you again for all of your support and feedback.. My father as you know from my older posts is losing his battle with his Pc after 9 years. Again i do not know his numbers because it has been not been shared with us children. I do know his last visit we found out this last Thursday they found multiple tumors on his spine. He has lost all mobility and is still in massive pain.. Waiting for pain management Hospice not sure if they ae the same to come in next Tuesday.. He will get radiation on Monday. We still are not welcome but my siblings are going anyways.. I am looking at staying in a hotel close by.. I want to go in a few weeks but my husband says not to drag my legs and to go sooner.. I am still in a shocked state and I don't know what to think. I cant believe this is happening even though he has been fighting for a long time. Dad just had his Birthday this last December he is now 79 years old ... Talked to dad for few seconds but it was brief.. it is so hard to talk on the phone knowing he is so sick.. Mom says he is going through alot right not emotionally and physically.. I hope he has months not weeks to live. Just an honest opion do you think waiting 2 weeks is to long.. Sorry I am asking these stupid questions but this hard..

Blessings and many Thanks for your time,
worried sad daughter in Michigan

I would hate for this to come over as harsh, but I've learned over the years that you go as soon as you can. If you can only go once, it is better for both of you to do it while he can recognize that you are there.

I hope he will get better, and you will visit again. But that should not stop you from going now, if you can.

I travelled to visit a relative's supposed death-bed several times over a couple of years, and then arrived after a late-night drive one morning for a casual visit only to find she had died a couple of hours before. We were at peace with each other, and did not miss an opportunity to visit, although each time we expected to be the last.

A good friend was supposedly stable, but in hospice. I needed to delay the trip for work reasons, and did not get there in time.

My best wishes for you and your family.

I don't have anything to add, but am sorry you are facing this. Good luck and God Bless.

Agree with 142, you go while the window of opportunity is open so you can live with no regrets. Blessings to you and to your family and hopefully this could be the beginning of a more intimate family life. Everything begins with an ending according to TS Elliot.
Michael

Go! I missed seeing my brother. Because I waited. I was 4 days late.
My dad died at 79 with what your dad has. The end was quick.
Sorry for your situation.

I would suggest that you go as soon as possible. Been there done that with my father years ago and I still to this day regret not seeing him more. This is a difficult decision but as human beings we tend to gel together when a trajedy strikes us. Just him knowing that you are there speaks volumes at a time like this.
TTaylor

Don't wait, if your father dies while you are waiting you will regret your decision. My sister was dying of leukemia but I had arranged a 2 day business trip , by the time I got back she was dead. I never got to say good bye to her. I hate to be harsh about this but unless you can find out what condition he is in then you need to go and be at his side.

Go know. Just lost my father two weeks ago to metastasized prostate cancer. Not a worse feeling in the world. Miss him dearly.