our comfort zone

Why dont you post your age and stats again, kind of hard to think about an answer without being able to remember where you stand right now.

Purgatory said...
Why dont you post your age and stats again, kind of hard to think about an answer without being able to remember where you stand right now.

I'm in good shape but I tend to worry and expect the worse so i can rejoice when things go well.

Prostate was small, 34 grams.
Final Gleason score 7 (3+4)
Less than 5% of slides involved tumor
Tumor measured 5 mm in greatest dimension and was located in the right lobe near the apex.
Tumor was confined to prostate.
The apical, basal, pseudocapsular and soft tissue resection margins were free of tumor.
Seminal vesicles were free of tumor.
Right pelvic node - benign fibroadiopse tissue. no lymph node is identified.
Left pelvic node - one small lymph node, negative for tumor (0/1)

AJCC stage: pT2 NO MX

David,

Just from your stats alone, the 5% involvement was a good thing, the Gleason could be problematic at some point, but until you see a trent in future psa readings, no reason to think you wont do well.

While Italy is not the US, its not like a third world country, probably some very good medical facilities and doctors, especially in Rome. I would think your insurance, if through your employer, would be good, or perhaps offered something suitable for use while you are in Rome.

Also, if something went wrong in the future, i.e. BCR, and you needed SRT, its not going to happen overnight, so you could plan to come back to the US for any future treatments if needed, if you weren't comfortable with the medical situation there.

If this opportunity is truly a great one for you and your family, it might well indeed be worth some minimal risk to take advantage of it.

I am at an age, and with all my family here, and a high comfort factor with my current medical team, along with the fact that I had rapid BCR, and now a failed SRT, if it were me, I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my current surroundings. But thats just me, and besides, no one is offering me the chance to live in Europe for a few years.

It will be a tough decsion that only you can make.

David in SC

David:
- this is a great site for support and on occasion, validation of an internal decision.
DAVID:
- that is why men ( and women) tend to cluster in similar groups...

- if I had your stats and situation, I would go for it...

but what matters most...
- if you had your stats and situation, what would you do?

sincere hugs,
BRONSON

p.s. remember, you are only 12 weeks out of surgery - your body and mind (and spirit) is still recovering ...

p.p.s. you have already answered your question in your original post...

p.p.p.s. hugs again
..........................

Thanks for the responses.

I should have added that I was born there and lived there until I was 18 ( with a five year break in London ). I came here for college. Italian mother, American dad.

I know the health care system there is good, but in all honesty, if my PSA spiked up we would be on the first plane back and I'd be in my surgeon's office asking him where to do radiation ( Sturm probably since they are colleagues ). It's just how I feel.

As for my health coverage, I already asked them. I may not get sick in a year or two but kids always get sick and I have two of them. My insurance cannot pay Italian doctors because they don't have a pin number, so I'd have to pay cash up front and then submit a claim. So it's doable, but definitely a headache.

What would I do if I didn't have cancer? well it was never my intention to come here and stay here. It's been 22 years now. I always had a dream of going back but with each year my kids become more and more dependent on their friends, school and community. Outside of my concerns about my health there is also the concern of uprooting them. Although I know it's a great experience.

bronson - I know i'm still recovering, mentally and physically. That is another reason for concern when making such a big decision. Not sure how rational I can be. When i walked into my bosses office to tell/ask him I started out with " I've had a tough year and I need to...". He was great about it.

142 - what did you do there?

Goodlife - I think part, or most of this decision is fueled by the fact that my last 5 months have been so emotional/illogical and life shaking.

Fairwind - as concerned as we are, that is what my wife and I always tell each other... when are we ever going to get an opportunity like this again? and how much will we regret it if we don't do it?

David - I am the right age for this. Also, my oldest will be in college in 4 years and it'll be too late by then because I wouldn't leave him here alone and move to Europe.

We'll see. Right now, although a final decision hasn't been made, I have already gotten real estate agents on both ends, applied to american school for the kids and started the process of getting my wife legal papers to stay beyond a tourist visa.

Haven't even told my mother yet. She wants to move here since my cancer and I'm thinking of calling her up in ROme and ambushing her with the news then and there.

I'll keep you all posted, even if I chicken out.

David, sometimes when I have a big, confusing choice to make, I draw up a paper with the pros listed on one side and the cons on the other. I list everything I can think of. Sometimes seeing it on paper helps me to clarify my position. It can also help to sort the fear-based reactions (usually the most unlikely scenarios) from the logical and rational ones.

Also, even though it is ultimately your health and your decision to make, spouses really do often have good input.

Good luck with your decision!

Juliet

I had a somewhat similar decision to make recently when I was offered a new job; essentially a career advancement opportunity with a different university (I am an academic administrator). They offered me the job with full knowledge of my PCa and immediately following my SRT.

I certainly was nervous about my future, especially leaving my comfort zone, my current situation, and moving my family 90 miles (a relatively short move). I was concerned about implications for life insurance, medical insurance, and the fear I would take my family out of their comfort zone and possibly die two or three years later.

In the end, and after much discussion and reassurance from my wife, I decided to go for it rather than live stifled by fear of the unknown. I have a unique opportunity; something I've looked for a long time, and I certainly would do it if there was no PCa in my life.

Now, I just hope (and pray) the first post-SRT PSA in May comes back undetectable...

kark, yours was a good story, I for one, am glad you are going for it. Nothing is worse than sailing in the sea of regrets later.

btw, you might want to fix your signature, it shows that you will be having radiation for almost 10 months, an obvious typo, you would sure be glowing after that, lol.

david in sc

lovely answers/posts here, thanks.

Jack, great post. Just read it to my wife. Interesting about the advanced placement courses, we hadn't even thought of that. We went to Singapore last summer and the kids loved it. My son was on a quest to eat anything he could find including BBQ Stingray and frog porridge.

Ed - thanks for a post that makes me feel good.

Logoslidat - funny, when my wife and I talk about Italy potentially being too far and too much of a change for the kids we always say that we still want to do something exciting and that Maui might be an option.

Kark - what life insurance implications? I hadn't even considered that.

Anyway, we are proceeding with real estate agents, school applications etc. etc. If everything lines up, and renting our house is what really needs to happen, I think we'll end up doing this.

David G

Do it! We lived in Japan for 9 years and loved every bit of it. The kids learned to be citizens of the world. You will be giving yours a priceless gift.
Don't worry about any health related issues. If you need to see your doc you can come back to the US faster than you can schedule the appointment.

I say we have a GFMPH event at your house in Dec. You'll be all settled in by then. If you need someone to carry your bags, give me a call.

Ciao,
Jeff

I'm going if the kids get accepted into the American school ( no reason they shouldn't) and provided we find the type of apt we want in the exact area we want. That's the iffy part because we do have a budget. I've really enjoyed and appreciated the answers here, great stuff.