HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

A good cancer death, in a manner of speaking

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 4/16/2011 6:09 PM (GMT 0)
While this is not a case of PC, its about one man's approach  to dying from cancer.  While we focus hard on the staying alive part, we all know, that every day, men are dying of PC.  I thought this was a touching story, and something for any of us with advanced cases to think about.  I viewed it as a positive-negative story.  See what you think:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/16/preparing.for.death/index.html?hpt=C1

Posted 4/16/2011 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
Good story David. In the last year both my parents passed away in their home with family by their side. Dad always told me to never let him stay in a NH and he passed away in the same home that his father passed away in. Not sure how I want to go, but certainly not in a hospital or a Nursing home.

Michael

Posted 4/16/2011 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
Touching story. I've had close relatives pass away both in the hospital and at home. Interestingly, never had one pass away in a NH, they tend to move patients to the hospital at the very end.

Although it's comforting to think of passing away in someone's home in loving arms, we also have to think of the burden on the caregiver. I've been there, and it's very stressful emotionally and sometimes physically. It's an individual decision that depends on the patient, the caregiver, how much specialized treatment is needed, etc.

I've gained a whole lot of respect for hospice people who come to the home and know just how to treat a patient at the end of life, keeping them as comfortable and pain free as possible. And, of course, passing away at one's home facilitates whatever religious/ spiritual ceremonies the family wishes to practice.

This is a tough subject but the fact of the matter is that we will all reach this stage whether or not we suffer from cancer. But having cancer makes us think about it more often, and allows us more time to make peace with it and with our creator as best we can.
Posted 4/16/2011 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
Michael, sorry about the loss of both your parents in such a short span. While PC may not directly kill but a few here, all will eventualy die of course. My wife and I have had these conversations. If the disease wins out on me eventually, my wish is to have hospice at home, so I can be in my own surroundings, among my family. As we all age, I think its at least wise to think about such matters. In the article, the gent was 92, so regardless of having cancer, he had a long life.

reachout, I am very supportive of hospice, whether its at their facilities or at home. this is what they are best at, in providing the in depth care needed in those final weeks or months, and can make sure their patients are as pain free as possible.
Posted 4/17/2011 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
David,
That is a touching story.
Posted 4/17/2011 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
I thought so, Ed, can of gave me goose bumps reading it
Posted 4/17/2011 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
David:

An excellent article. Tears and goosebumps for sure.

Mel

Posted 4/17/2011 5:51 PM (GMT 0)
It gave me pretty much the same sorrowful feeling I had a week ago when we closed the casket on a 75-year-old man who died of prostate cancer.  He had originally been diagnosed in 2002 and his widow told me he had endured just about every kind of treatment there is.  As the casket was being closed and readied for the trip to the cemetery, several of his grandchildren, ten years old and under, were sobbing for their Grandpa.  You can't help but feel their hurt.  They were old enough to appreciate what had happened to their Grandpa.  Sure, he was 75, but he'd suffered bone mets, had lost half a lung, and other complications, too.  His wife seemed like a very brave woman, and he sounded like a very courageous man.

Posted 4/18/2011 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
yes, moved me the same way.

here at HW, i am more about the support and quality of life side of our disese, not so much all the technical bickering at times.
Posted 4/21/2011 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
That's a lovely story and I've shared it with my family.

Very similar to how we saw my grandfather off just two years ago.

Regarding the nurses, the hospice nurses that came to his house once we moved him home were indeed angels. But one of the reasons we moved him home for his final days ( 2 days ) was because the nurses in the hospital were sometimes awful. Some would leave his soiled diapers in his trash can in his room for instance.
Posted 4/21/2011 1:12 AM (GMT 0)
Great story and great timing. After getting PCA diagnosis. I had a detailed living will and advanced directive made up. I also sent copies of the story to all my kids. Thanks
Posted 4/21/2011 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
As good as Hospice can be, having six children watching over my parents was the best. Dad always said that one of the smartest things he ever did was to have so many children. Someone was there with them at all times in their home, where as Hospice could not be.
Michael
Posted 4/21/2011 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
As good as Hospice can be, having six children watching over my parents was the best. Dad always said that one of the smartest things he ever did was to have so many children. Someone was there with them at all times in their home, where as Hospice could not be.
Michael
Posted 4/21/2011 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
True, Michael, my kids will be there for me too, I would only want to be at home, if practical.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply