A LITTLE VENT- RANT-RAGE from Sonny

As you know from my absence and also from my last post, I have been taking a little break from HW and most things PCa.

Well I come back to you all now because I need to vent just a tad.

First, my personal situation is just fine. I feel good, am looking better (lol) and have lots of energy, since embarking on my change in lifestyle. The jury is still out on what, if any, affect it will have on my PCa. We’ll know about that in February when I go in for another scan.

Now for the vent, rant, or whatever you want to call it. For those of you that remember George Carlin, I seem to be repeating “The 7 words you can’t say on Television” routine from his shows.

Lynn’s health has taken some pretty strong hits. I won’t go into long detail; you guys don’t need to go through that, so I will just summarize things from the last two weeks;

It ain’t just her spine that is damaged (read cancer eaten) anymore. They have found lytic lesions (holes in the bones where the cancer is eating) in both of her upper arms, scapula, right shoulder, skull, extensive pelvis and both femurs of her legs.

Additionally they have now found a soft tissue mass growing from the bone in her pelvis.

Monday they start radiation on both of her legs and pelvis. This is the more pressing area requiring treatment because of the danger of fractures.

Her latest blood work (extremely low red blood count) has prompted them to start the process for her to receive a blood transfusion. She has to have “directed donation” because of the particulars required from the donors. The blood was collected yesterday and we anticipate that it will be ready for infusion tomorrow. Two units.

These same tests that were run also indicate that her calcium numbers are getting too high for the body to process and she has to go in for testing every three days for a while. You may recall that she was hospitalized the beginning of November for the same thing. All of this eating at the bones is just dumping too much calcium into the blood stream and the body cannot process it. The real danger is kidney failure.

And, OH HELL, you get the picture.

But my rock and the “light” of my life is still smiling through all of this. It really isn’t fair that watching how she deals with this also gives me sooo much strength. But I am also so blessed that at this point, nothing about my PCa is debilitating to me and it doesn’t keep me from caring for her.

Thanks for listening my brothers and sisters. Been holding a lot of this in and just needed to rant and rage a little. I have to temper my words with Lynn’s family and friends, but not here. You are always here for me. You folks are great. And you give me comfort and solace. I appreciate you all.

Sonny

Sonny,

Lynn sounds like an amazing woman, and you're pretty special yourself. I've never met Lynn, and you and I only met briefly at GFMPH, but it's obvious that you two have an extraordinary relationship. Despite all else, that's quite a blessing.

You two hang in there and know that we're always up for a good rant. We're pleased that we can, in a small way, be here for you.

Best,

Jonathan

Sonny, we've never met in person, but I've followed your posts here on HW. I don't know why some of us are "put to the test" in the ways you and Lynn are being tested, but one thing is surely true: not many deal with their tribulations as well as the two of you seem to be doing. I wish it could be otherwise and that neither of you had to suffer through these things, but all I can do is keep the two of you in my prayers and hope that the medical community and the community of friends can help you through. Blessings to both of you. Bill

Sonny:

I am terribly saddened to read this. The two of you are in my thoughts.

Look, THIS IS THE PLACE TO VENT.

I know I share thoughts and emotions on HW that I share nowhere else.

Mel

I feel your supporters ringing
in through cyber space, you got a lot of good friends to count on and lean on and would include me too. How you have handled all that is going on it your world in beyond my comprehension, I doubt my venting would be legal for public use (lol). Hope you can handle all this without implosion.

Lynn and Sonny,

We don't understand the meaning of the word helpless until we encounter some of these life situations. It also magnifies love.

My prayer for you guys is that your love will see you through this time, and that you can draw strength from each other. I know that you are both people of divine faith, and I also pray that He will give you both strength, healung, and peace through these bumps in the road.

Like the rest, I love you guys like brother and sister. I have B+ blood if you need it.

Sonny, call me any time you need to rant on.

Goodlife

Hey Sonny and Lynn,

Can't add anything that hasn't already been said. James and others said it better than I ever can.

"Love to Lynn, Strength to you."

All our love,

Mike and Dee

Post Edited (mikey1955) : 12/3/2011 3:31:59 PM (GMT-7)

Sonny it is good to hear from you although we all wish the update was more positive regarding Lynn's health. i have said it many a time that I have been through a war and was shot and I have been dealing with PCa, but the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with was my wife's cancer 15 years ago. I remember looking up in the sky one day back then and I was digging a hole in the ground for our dog of 18 years and said, " Lord I cant take much more." There was a very light snow falling that day and for some reason that moment always sticks out in my mind. We made it through that and here we are 15 years later. Blessings to both of you.

Michael

Lynn and I thank all of you very much for you thoughts and blessings.

I was not being light when I said that I find comfort and solace when I come here to you and discuss the things I cannot talk about to others. I am more open and honest with ya'll about what is going on in both Lynn and my life and our battles.

As you know from your own experiences, friends and family have a difficult time with it when we try to share. I think for many of us that is why we are still here. We all understand what each other is going through. We can talk to each other with complete openness and candor. Many times we can find release from our burdens when we share. Thank you all for allowing me the honor of sharing with you.

Now I know that religion is not something we talk about here. And I agree with that rule. I know that some of you have sent blessings to us and I do not believe that we are violating any rules with that.

But I did want to share something that I remember often, and today it has been especially on my mind.

It is a quote from Mother Teresa: "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

Now lets not get into a religious discussion here please. Just accept that for what it is. I think many of us have felt that way at some time or the other.

Thank you all for being here for me. Thank you all for caring and thank you all for being our friends.

Sonny

Sonny

Although we have never met I still have the photo you sent me of you wife and son. So I feel I know you.... by sight anyway.

I can't really add anymore to what has already been said on this forum. My own troubles pale into insignificance on reading your post.

Vent all you like mate, we are here for you and Lynn whenever you want to vent, or seek some support.

My thoughts go out to you Sonny.

Bob

I read your post with great sadness, this is a most trying time for you and your wife, vent all you like, we are here for you.

Mal.

Sonny,
Lynn is an amazingly strong woman to be going through all of this and and yet still smiling. I know from my own experience, then when a loved one is in pain you feel that pain yourself. You must be going through a lot to be watching Lynn yet unable to help. God Bless you and Lynn.

Sonny,

What can I say. Best of luck to you and Lynn. I'm glad you are able to express yourself and get some things off you mind here. You are a good man.