Finally! I spoke about my PCa

Brothers and Sisters

Today was the first time I told anyone other than my immediate family, wife, daughters, son-in-law, brothers and sisters and my HW brothers and sisters about my Prostate Cancer.

Why have I kept silent about my Prostate Cancer ? Macho Male Syndrome <grins>, seriously all those male 'attributes' - be strong, suck it up, do not appear weak.

For about the last 3 weeks or so I have been grappling with should I or should I not speak about my PCa. Thought process - it is just as much apart of my 'weakness' as is my glaucoma, which I have had for 20 years or so, and I talk freely about that. Sure right.

I finally earlier this week decided I would say something to someone and just let the chips fall where they may.

Meet two of my old co-workers (one male and one female) for lunch today. Of course they asked what I was doing. Went through the litany and in doing so said and I was dx'ed with Prostate Cancer this July, and than went on to to other things.

Past co-workers with great concern - Bud? Cancer? How are you?

I spoke about the Prostate Cancer told them the reason I was telling them is so they would tell all the males in their lives to get checked. The female asked what by treatments were / are. I talked about the overall treatments, the hormone treatments, the side effects to include hot flashes and the ED. How lucky I am to have found Healing Well where there is a great community of brothers and sisters all in this crap together.

Yes ED was, at first, hard (very very) for me to talk about. The guy coworker got real quiet but the female coworker said when woman have procedures they often lose the urge for sex. Which made my ED easier to talk about.
We talked about how easy people talk about breast cancer and I said how hard guys (Me!) find it to talk about prostate cancer as it hits below the belt and can make the guy feel like less of a guy.
The females response to that was - yes us gals like to chatter and you guys are stupid. Laughs! - The female coworker is a friend so was not meant to be insulting at all.

They both thanked me for sharing and the female complimented me on how I had spoke about the PCA with dignity.

Thought I would share this with all, if any of our family is keeping the PCa to themselves - There really is no need to. Go ahead and talk about it.

Bud

I have had no problem talking to others about my PC journey since I was first diagnosed last April. I do a lot of networking for my business and use some of my speaking time to promote PC awareness. It always amazes me how much more women I speak to are more worried about the males in their lives than the men I talk to. One guy I know told me that after I spoke to his wife she forced him to get screened and take a PSA test but it was negative and now he feels better. One of my customers who is 55 had never heard of a PSA test or PC screening and hadn't been to a doctor in over 10 years. He is the type who only goes to a doctor when he is terribly sick. I convinced him to see my GP and his PSA was over 5 and he was referred to a URO who found cancer with a biopsy. He has since done seeds and has an excellent prognosis. This customer thanked me several times as he believes I saved his life.

I have not had one lost customer or any business problems because of being open about my PC and how it affects my life. However I am not quit as open about the ED issues as I feel that is more personal.

Bud, keep up your openness about your PC as it might save the life of someone you know or will meet someday.

good for you Bud -
- admitting it can be empowering and diminish the fear associated with cancer.

-that is why I wear my PCa pin - it is always out there - they can't use it (rumours) against you.


note: I am well aware some of our brothers here on HW do not have the luxury of being open about PCa and they have my full support and understanding.

holiday hugs to one and all,
Bronson

Bud,

Good move -- I know that took some courage. There is that feeling of risk that comes with transparency. I think it will be helpful to you. I am very open and public about my PCa. I do tend gauge the other person's comfort level as to how much to discuss and when. I find the women more open to it than the men. Some men want to hear almost nothing about it. My middle aged female friends love it that a guy is having hot flashes. I am pretty circumspect on discussing ED .. only the very closest friends on that.

WOW Bud: YOU ARE THE MAN! Each of us is different and have different levels on private issues. I am mostly an open book. have not had any problem talking about the PCa but seldom speak of the Ed stuff except for my very close buddies.

I know from your post that your pleased that you let the cat out of the bag. :)

Congrats.

Cajun Jeff

Gone Soft I am still laughing at your post above and can see you would most definitely fit right is with all us Zanies who attend GFMPH. So tell the bulls to keep the cows company and head to Baton Rouge in April, this will be life defining event as it was for me last September in NY for the Northern GFMPH event and clam bake. 

Terry TWG

Just before my surgery (about 6 weeks after my dx.) I sent an email to everyone in my Department (I teach at a University) giving them all the details. Our Department is 80% male and I figure it doesn't hurt to increase awareness.

Anyway, it was a good move. I guess I could have just said that I would be gone for minor surgery, but eventually this stuff gets out. I just didn't want any behind-the-back whispers.

This turned out to be an excellent move.

Mel

 

Have you had your testosterone level checked since you started treatment?

I love this thread. Just saying'...

Discussing prostate cancer is easy for some, like me, and difficult for others. I encourage discussion in our live support group but still some men won't talk outside that venue.

For my part all my family knows, my bosses know, my staff knows...I've been on the TV, on the radio, and in the newspaper discussing prostate cancer related matters. Like I said it's easy for me.

Tony