who is living1963

Good morning everyone.
Last night I told a story and this story defines who I am. After much thought I have elected to share it with my healingwell family.

In December of 2002 I was in the midst of a divorce. It came as no surprise as I knew the day of our marriage it was wrong. Divorce is divorce. I was lonely and I just wanted to feel good. I met some people who were young and fun. They seemed to have a good time every weekend. At the time I had a pretty good life. I had a nice home, a nice truck, good credit, and a good job. My home became the party house and man could they party. All night every night. I Couldn't see how they could do it. One day I found out when one of the group introduced me to methamphetamine. That was the day that I stepped into a nightmare that would last for two and a half years. It was fun at first. Staying up for days at a time. Clean the house in record time. The party never ended. I felt like superman. I was surrounded by friends all of the time. I was never alone. Then it just got to be too much, too crazy. I tried to quit but I couldn't. My life had become a snowball rolling out of control. It kept getting bigger and faster as it went. Pieces began to fall through the cracks. I stopped paying my bills. I stopped paying my taxes. I lost my real friends. I lost 35 pounds and tipped the scales at 115. My family disowned me. My children wouldn't speak to me. Then things really got bad. I lost my home to the bank. One of my new friends wrecked my truck and I did not have insurance on it. I moved into a garage 50 miles away from everyone who knew me. My life continued to unravel. I didn't realize I was being used by my new so called friends until I had nothing to offer and nothing left to steal. That is when I found out what loneliness truly is. I had nothing and I had nobody that cared. I still had a job that I was about to lose. I also had a $100,000 accidental death Insurance policy. I decided to use it and at least leave something for my children. The logical choice was a car wreck. I hadn't slept for two weeks that afternoon. I was as high as I could get. I started my 280 zx and headed for Jackson highway. At the end of a long straight stretch is a 15mph corner. I put my foot to the floor and watched the speedometer climb over 120. As I approached the corner another car came around the corner. When he saw me coming he stopped right in my path. I was not about to take the life of another.
At that speed things happen quickly. I pulled the Emergency brake into the back seat and put the car into a hard spin. I hit the front of the other car as I spun around him. (He drove his car from the scene) and hit the bank at over 100 mph. The car flipped end over end and came to a stop on its wheels 50 yard away in a ditch. I was not wearing a seat belt. My only injury was a raspberry on my forehead from the headliner. I crawled from the car and fell in the dirt and quickly dug a small hole and covered the drugs that I were in my pocket. I broke right there. I was sick, completely alone, and most likely going to jail and losing my job. I had hit bottom. I sobbed. I cried like a baby. The state patrol arrive and through my tears I told him it was all my fault. I was going too fast. I did not have insurance. I continued to cry and waited to be arrested. It never happened. He completed his report wrote me a ticket for no insurance told me I had 2 hours to have the wreck removed and let me use his phone to call my work and inform them I was in a wreck thus saving my job. Then he drove away. During this entire time the gentleman I hit waited. When we were alone he pulled me aside and said young man I see you. I know your loaded. He continued saying he use to live that kind of life and that it was no way to live. He said I was on my way to a narcotics anonymous meeting when you hit me. Would you like to go.?. I Couldn't. I had to take care of the car but that was the last day I ever used drugs. I went to my garage and slept for 4 days. It took a month before I could function well enough to do anything but go to work and go to bed. At the end of that month I packed up what had not been stolen and moved home and began to put my life back together
It was a long road that really was only finished two months ago when I made the last payment to Uncle Sam. That was august 20th 2005. Ten months later I was diagnosed with cancer. In the last 7 years I met the love of my life re-payed all my bad debts bought a modest but comfortable home and have truly found happiness in my life.
Why have I done so well with Cancer?
I believe it is because 7 years ago I decided that I wanted to live. Todd

Glad you're here to tell your story.

"How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them."
Ben Franklin

Todd, what an inspiring personal testimony, and a tale of self-redemption. Got to respect you and your story.

Best as always to you, brother.

David in SC

Wow. You've truly navigated a maelstrom of life and survived. Thanks for sharing. I know now that I am not alone with bad experiences in life. Continue to live my brother in life.

I think the best part of the whole ordeal is that in many ways I have been blessed with life in abundance. I am not rich in sheckels as they say but my life is the best it has ever been
I am deeply in love with Amanda. I have relationships with my children and the rest of my family that are stronger than they have ever been. I have 5 beautiful granddaughters who are perfect in every way and i have a story to tell that may perhaps help others. I guess I feel a lot like mr. Bailey. I may not have hit clarence but God put theright guy at the right time right in my path.

Yes Bud, I count myself rich in my healing well family as well.

David, thank you so much as well. I missed your post somehow
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Hey Todd,

So glad you are here to tell your story. Truly amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it.

TB (Fred)

Todd & Amanda

Dont expect a miracle, Be the miracle, Your are the miracle!!!

Proof that nothing is predestined, the obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. May you continue to experience and celebrate so many more bright beginnings along your life's journeys together.

Thanks for sharing your painful yet very inspirational story. I feel your passion for life in the words you write.

Continued great blessings always!

TJ

 

Todd,

This confirms my suspicions that there is something special about you.

Just remember what happened at the end of It's A Wonderful Life.

Clarence got his wings?

Todd,

My dad once told that when a bully knocks you down get right back up and face him and then knock him down. That is so true about life and our individual fights with PC, which you seem to have practiced in your life as well.

You have a lot of great guys and gals in this forum praying and pulling for you every minute of the day to get back up and knock down your PC.

A lot of my wife's and my family live in the Pacific NW so maybe someday we will be up there and can meet.

Terry