Latest Doctor Visit and a real shocker PSA reading

142 - thanks again for watching out for me in particular. I am still ok with this going until it dies a natural "thread death". The bulk of the responses have been great, and well appreciated.

You already know this, I know, but I don't write for sympathy, don't want sympathy - here, or in my real life. I am a big boy, and have been dealing with this, and other serious cancers for a long time. If this is my lot in life, then so be it.

Also, I don't post for popularity, didn't know I was suppose to, lol. I have a lot on my mind, and I love writing, it's my natural media. Just call sometime, and see how uncommunicated I can be on the phone.

In October of 2008, I came here like every other newcomer. Newly diagnosed, afraid of the future, looking for support. I still remember by name, those that reached out for me in those dark days. And when I started here, like many other men who choose surgery, I was stoic about it. I will man up, have my open surgery, heal up, get rid of the cancer, and that is that.

Boy, was I ever fooled. There hasn't been as easy moment yet. After my run of 21 caths and a year and a half on them, I am still traumatized by that whole ordeal, even though it ended late in September of 2010. My ill-fated radiation ended Thanksgiving of 2009, still truamatized by how bad that went. I can still close my eyes and feel that burning in my bladder when the IMRT machine hit position #6. It was always at #6. When the serious steady pains began in July of 2010, I thought it was just temporary, boy was I wrong there too.  It has only grown worse, and continues to worsen.  Never thought I would thrown out of the work world I loved so much, to end up on a cane, with 48 hour morphine patches and endless pain pills, just to be functional at all.

But, that was my lot.  I didn't ask for it.  But I have adjusted my mind to accept it all in stride.  Why am I still here?  Because we keep getting new folks in the door, its sad, but true.  I was accepted when I came aboard, and I don't have it in me to turn my back on anyone in need of the same kind of help.

I don't have all the answers, in fact, I don't pretend to.  I know only know what my doctors teach me, and to some lesser degree, some good information learned here.  But I do understand fear, I do understand pain,  and being a 4 time cancer survivor (so far), I know what it means to be a survivor.  So hopefully, I will always have some value here.

In the case of what has turned out to be an amazing thread, certainly never thought it would go on like this, I am still stunned, that a person or two can't take a polite hint, either from you as a Moderator, or me as the originator of the thread.  But as mentioned above, not here to win prizes or run for office.  And you can't win all of the people, all of the time, so I am glad that wasn't a goal of mine.

I think you do a good job under hard circumstances sometimes.  You know, I had my chance as a Mod, and I was clever enough to get out that gig real fast, lol.   If you, of your own free will, wish to say anything private to those that keep violating Rule #3, it would be a blessing, but that's up to you.

Otherwise, I will keep on doing what I like to do.

David

Post Edited (Purgatory) : 4/15/2012 9:52:01 PM (GMT-6)

Explorer, thank you for your kind response. And I agree, that one verse of Emerson lifted my spirits at the time, and I am not normally into poetry.

Sorry you are having the ED issues this far out, but many would say its still in the range of normal, whatever normal means.
With all the horrible aspects of my twisted journey, I remain in a rare and limited club here at HW PC, I never experienced any ED whatsoever. I had open surgery, and it was destined to be a no-nerve spare operation, due to the amount of cancer. My left nerve bundle was removed and entirely, and due to surgical difficulties, and something to do with me having an unusally deep and narrow prostate bed, the surgeon was unable to remove the right nerve bundle. On the surgical reports, it notes that the right side was left intact, but damaged. Due to the difficulties, I was on my original catheter for 63 days, and I was getting wood while still on the cath. And twice (though I strongly discourage this, and would never do it again), I had achieved full orgasm while on the catheter. When I hit the 90 day mark after surgery, my surgeon was prepared to give me the ED talk, and to reccomend a pump, pills, etc. I surprised him when I said that I didn't need anything. To this day, he will take no credit for this miracle of sorts, and he said that it made no sense that I wasn't having any difficulties. I have never used a pump, never taken any sex meds, or ever did any injections. So the lack of any ED was my one silver lining.

I hope you find continual and gradual improvement in this area. Prior to my surgery, my wife and I were fully prepared to a whole new world of perhaps never having "normal" sex again, and we were okay with that, if it got rid of the cancer. Its kind of ironic, I dont' have the ED, but I sure still have the cancer, lol.

My best to you, my friend,

David

Hi David

When your post first came out I logged off had to think.

I wish you the best on your pc journey. This is very hard watching you over the years.

Hope the scans are clear.

Best wishes

your friend Gerry 

gerry, thanks for checking in. yeah, my path and my current rapid rise in numbers is hard to take in, there's almost a sureal aspect to it. hope you are holding your own as well

walkbyfaith, thanks, no such thing as too many prayers. from looking at your states, you are still doing great, hope you stay there, as my path is not a fun one. good luck to you

david

bs, thanks. not sure i deserve a break, don't think life plays favorites, but in nearly 4 years of fighting this PC, would be nice if just one part would go smooth and normal. look up difficulty or side effects in the dictionary, and you will see my picture, lol. just got to keep rolling with life's punches, still better than the alternative.

david

Sancarlos,

My doctor, even though he is affiliated with MD, still works in the Spartanburg Hospital network, so had to go there, which is quite a drive at rush hour from Easley, lol. I forgot how terrible I-85 heading from G-ville to Spartanburg was. Glad I don't have to do that every day.

He could have arranged it at Easley Baptist, 2 blocks from my house, but once he sent me there for x-rays, and he said they were the worse one's he had ever seen in his life.

I want good and accurate scans, so it was worth the extra hassle to me.

david

San Carlos,

You meant Canon in Pickens, as opposed to Ganon? Personally, I wouldn't take my cat or dog there, lol. Their ER department has a pretty good reputation in a pinch, but I only live 2 blocks from Easley Baptist.

These scans, I was pre-warned, will not be totally conclusive, but they are still needed.

I have used Greenville Radiology a few times, they are a pretty decent outfit. Curious, who was your Urologist in Easley?

Feel bad for you with your bone issues, sounds painful just reading about it, hope you continue to hold your own there.

David

San Carlos, that's ok on the name. Was just curious about him being in Easley. My uro had an office in Easley for years, but they shut it down about 9 months ago, not enough traffic. WHen I need to see him, which is only twice a year now, I see him at his main office in Greenville. I was fortunate with him, that he had a lot of experience with Prostate Cancer, and he had a great reputation as a local surgeon. He use to practice at both St. Francis and GHS, but GHS got greedy, and made him choose. He chose to stay with St. Francis, which made me happy. They consistenly keep getting named the best hospital for Patient Care in SC, year after year. I have had a total of 10 operations there, and they were all good experiences. I still go to what we locals call the "Old St. Francis", off of Academy Street (123).

David