Hello Devastated,
9 is just a number.
Don't let it bully you, or empower it by dwelling on any of its associated implications.
Once my husband and I came to that conclusion, our outlook and mental/emotional state changed enormously.
A number of other forum members have addressed your post very sensibly, yet with empathy for your situation. I congratulate all in this forum for the way that support is given, many times with riproaring humour, sometimes bluntly, but always as brothers-in-arms facing a common foe.
I don't often contribute unless I specifically have something to add, but I do read the posts diligently nearly every day, and I am continually amazed at people's capacity for getting through what sometimes seem to be enormous hurdles and obstacles. I salute you all and admire your dignity in the face of adversity, your humour during potentially embarrassing incidents and your unequivical support.
Today my husband and I planted some mango trees. We don't expect that they will bear fruit for another 5-6 years at the very earliest. But we are both planning to be around to do the picking and eating for many years after that.
cheers