A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to be admitted, and St. Peter says to the
guy, "I can't see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never
did anything bad either. I tell you what, if you can tell me one really good
deed that you did, you're in."
So the guy says, "Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers
assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron
and walked straight up to the gang's leader--a huge ugly guy with a studded
leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain running
from his nose to his ear.
Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over
the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron,
yelled to the rest of them, 'You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You're
all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson
in pain!'"
Impressed, St. Peter says, "Really? I can't seem to find this in your file.
When did this happen?"
"Oh, about two minutes ago."