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Posted 9/23/2012 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
Yesterday after noon i called my husbands onc about his weight loss and the muscle loss....it wasn't good he informed me that my husband has cancer cachexia(wasteing disease ) it is when no matter what you do or eat you can not fix it and it just gets worse he estimates we have a few months left and from all the research i have been doing he is correct there is no treatment or cure nor can you do anything to stop it :( Just in case I dont get the chance I want to thank EVERYONE who has posted or replied to any post on here believe it or not all the views do help even if you only have 1 reply sharing your experiences your happy times your hurts your private lives.. lets me know that we are not alone that I am not alone as a wife to a wonderful man who has cancer... that there is someone out there that knows what you are going through and feels the hurt and anger and the desperation that you are going through that there is someone out there that cares enough to answer your questions no matter if they have answered them a hundred times before ....people who have been through most of the treatments and willing to give advice on how to deal with SEs or which treatment might be better or whats new or coming out it is the most amazing feeling to have someone out there that understands the horrid life you are now living someone out there that understands that your world has been turned around shaken up rattled and rolled and ran over by so many trains you don't even know which way you were going before it happened and sure don't know where you will end up ....plain and simple just someone who cares enough to say HI!!!!:)
( Sorry for the on and on but its been a very emotional 18 hours )
AGain thanks
HUGS AND PRAYERS TO EVERYONE
C.C.
Posted 9/23/2012 5:38 AM (GMT 0)
c.c.
It's late at night here -- actually early morning, and I've been at my computer for a couple of hours dealing with what I thought was a serious legal matter involving a volunteer non-profit group of which I'm an officer. Your post brings me back to reality. The problems I'm wrestling with tonight are nothing, simply nothing -- just background noise.

I can't make things better for you or for your husband. But I am here and I hear you both and wish you both the best. So, hello out there, c.c. and hugs.

Jim
Posted 9/23/2012 6:20 AM (GMT 0)
I do not know what to say...

Hugs from me and be strong.
Posted 9/23/2012 10:20 AM (GMT 0)
Cc

So sorry to read of your situation.
it's early morning here in Texas
I will pray that your day's burden might be
Lightened and you and your husband will have moments
Of peace, laughter, and joy. Even in our most difficult times
We can still experience hope- our thoughts are with you and your need. Blessings
Written on iPad sorry for errors
Posted 9/23/2012 10:52 AM (GMT 0)
C.C

You two have fought the good fight.

May your husbands days be as painfree as possible.

Our love, best thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Hugs gently

Bud
Posted 9/23/2012 11:48 AM (GMT 0)
C.C.

After I read your post, I went and read tednsal's. And there - I see you - offering comfort, offering your love and advice.

C.C - HW is a much better place with you as part of our family. The world is a much better place with you in it.

Hugs!

Bud and MsBud
Posted 9/23/2012 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for situation . I will say a prayer for you and your husband. Stay strong. sad
Posted 9/23/2012 1:37 PM (GMT 0)
C.C., first I must say don't give up hope. I know the reality of what you are experiencing gives little hope, but as long as there is life, there is hope. I would suggest that your husband look into hospice care, as time progresses and you see the need. Those folks offer care that is beyond anything you can get in a hospital setting.

As others have said in other threads, death is the natural result of living, some earlier, some sudden, some we can anticipate and plan for. If it is truly time for him, you both are blessed in that you have time to plan for it, and not have it suddenly thrust upon you. You have time to appreciate what you have left, to cherish memories that you have made as a couple, time to grow bonds even greater and tighter. Time to prepare yourselves and loved ones around you for it. Death is cruel, in that it tears apart people from their loved ones, but , sadly, it can be a welcomed release for the one in pain and suffering. Those remaining will survive, and it will be painful and a long process. Having people who care, love you and are praying for you will ease the pain and loss. Know that we here at HW will be here for both of you to the end, and afterwards for you, as long as you need us.

I'll be praying for you and your husband during this time of grief.
Posted 9/23/2012 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Don't know what to say, only that we will keep you both in our thoughts and prayers. How I wish I could make it all go away. Wishing you peace in the days ahead .
Posted 9/23/2012 2:21 PM (GMT 0)
C.C.

I do not know what to say other than you and your husband will be in our prayers. The support you gave the newbie Tednsal was so uplifting. I had no idea the MVD3100 trial was not working for your husband but I hope his experience in this trial will save some lives and bring more meaning to his fight in this war on cancer.

As many of us get ready for our GFMPH gathering this week I think we will need a moment of silence on Saturday to remember friends and loved ones lost this past year and those like you and your husband still fighting for life. May God bless you both.

Terry

Posted 9/23/2012 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
C.C.,

I'm so sorry to hear this hard news. Words are always so inadequate at times like this.

I hope they'll be able to keep him comfortable and lucid as much as possible as you go through this journey together. And I hope and pray for moments of closeness, pleasant reflection and good humor whenever you can snatch them.

Peace,

Jonathan
Posted 9/23/2012 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
C. C., I also am at a loss for words. I wish the best outcome for you both as you move forward with this journey. You have done a wonderful job for both your family and those of us on HW. And HW is much better because of it. Take care of yourself during this time and know we are always here for you and yours. Blessings to you, yours and HW.
Posted 9/23/2012 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
CC
I hope and pray your husband's pain can be kept at bay so that he can still find some happiness in the time he has left.

When my mom was dying (also of cancer), I remember thinking it was awful that she knew how close she was to the end. I thought it was the worst thing, to have so little time, and to have to spend it staring at death. I wished she'd had a heart attack in her sleep, something like that, where she could have gone to bed the night before thinking about the great things she'd do tomorrow.

But after the fact, I realized those final weeks were a blessing. She got the chance to say what she wanted to say to the people in her life, and to see how much she was loved.

As far as your part in this -- I remember thinking I have the rest of my life to miss my mom, but I only have a little more time to be with her. It helped me put off some of my grief, and we really did have some good times despite everything. I know from having read your posts these last few months how strong and loving you are -- I'm confident you will make the most of the time you have left together.

I highly recommend the book Final Gifts. You may already know of it because it's such a classic, but if not, it's a book written by two longtime hospice nurses, trying to share the wisdom they've gained in understanding how you can help someone you love -- what they need from you, might be afraid or unable to tell you, etc. And although it's a sad topic, it still manages to be a comforting, uplifting book.

you'll be in my prayers
Katie
Posted 9/23/2012 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
c.c.
Your post has me all upset and chocked up this morning. I feel so awful for what you are going through. I do feel that I know you if only through HW. I am so, so sorry about your husband's diagnosis.

If you ever need an ear or a shoulder please reach out by email and I will give you my number.

God bless you and your hubby.

Zimac
Posted 9/23/2012 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
CC. The word Aloha has many definitions. But know this, You my beautiful lady encompass them all. The unit that you and your husband have formed over the years is eternal. Your bond will only grow stronger, you will never, ever be, in truth, apart. Jack and Sharlyn Kerr
Posted 9/23/2012 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
cc,

sorry to hear of your situation. as others have said, don't give up hope at this point. finding the best possible hospice is probably high on your list of things to prepare for. the right one, can make this juncture much better to endure, for both you, your family, and your husband of course.

depending on his condition and needs, and choice, many like to have hospice at home in their own familiar surroundings. that would be my personal choice when the time comes, as long as it was practical and not a burden to my wife and family.

i know your husband has fought the good fight, but such is the nature of the beast we fight, prostate cancer. i only wish that everyone could have a happy ending, but death, unfortunately, is the natural conclusion to all our human life, even if one isn't dealing with a brutal and nasty cancer.

you have my prayers, thoughts, and sympathy, in every sense of the word.

make sure, that all means are used to keep pain away from your husband

david in sc
Posted 9/23/2012 5:31 PM (GMT 0)
"End of Life"??

c.c. and family. I ache for you. Best wishes for the time you have left.
Posted 9/23/2012 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
C.C. - this was so hard for me to read; I have felt bound with you with both of our husbands on MDV3100. It's a nasty business this cancer. But you have been a strong light in HW. I agree with everyone and what they have said.
I know when my sister in law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she faced it straight on and she controlled her life to the end with grace and humor. I hope for the same for your husband and you.
And I just want to say I am thinking of you both and holding you dear in my thoughts.
Posted 9/23/2012 6:59 PM (GMT 0)
CC, as others have said, your post is difficult to read. I have no words other than prayers that are being sent to you and your wonderful husband. God bless you both.
Kathy
Posted 9/23/2012 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
hi

I hope this may be something that will help.

http://articles.latimes.com/2012/feb/27/health/la-he-cachexia-20120227

Thoughts and prayers to you and husband.

Best wishes to brothers and family

Gerry

Posted 9/23/2012 9:46 PM (GMT 0)

c.c., I was afraid I would see a post like this after our time on chat the other evening. My best wish is for you both to enjoy being together as long as possible. Stay in touch with us!
SC

Posted 9/23/2012 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
C.C.

Since being diagnosed with Gleason 9 PC, I have assumed that I will always have cancer in me, and will have times of remission, and some not so good times.

Your husband is in the not so good times, but he is still able to tell you he lives you and you are able to reply. I have convinced myself that as long as I can talk to my wife and my family, and participate in life, it is better than whatever else comes next.

I do feel for you guys, but as others ave said, it ain't over til it's over. You still have a lot of living you can do. Don't let the doctor take that from you. Keep on keeping on.

We will remember you guys in our prayers.

Goodlife
Posted 9/23/2012 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
I so am truly sorry to hear your news...... you are beautiful ....be strong......
Posted 9/23/2012 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
CC

I hope that you don't arrive at the point to need all this advice for many years. We all hope that we'll be able to look back and talk about how wrong that doctor was.

I sat with a friend several days in those last few weeks, with all of the chaos of friends and family coming and going. His request to me was to tell them to stop going to the corner and crying as if he couldn't hear. He was going in and out of a coma, but he knew everything that was happening around him. He wanted them reminded that he would have a funeral, and couldn't they just wait until then? We all know what is coming some day, and none of us know how we will react until then. Someone in an earlier post made a very wise comment - live in this world now, and use the time the two of you have for you. Don't grieve until it is time.

And remember, the doctors keep telling us how long we have, and we keep being here to remind them that the date has passed.

Posted 9/24/2012 12:03 AM (GMT 0)
C.C.

After reading your post, I read for a while on google. I didn't see quite same certainty that your oncologist stated.

It appears to be a hot area of research, and there is a lot of suggestion that there are positive ways to deal with it, that at lt least helps the patient to compensate for some of it.

Maybe you could seek other opinions from some other disciplines as you work through this.

Goodlife
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