Others' reactions to your cancer

I have been surprised that it took people such a short amount of time after my treatment to stop asking how I was doing. I figure they're either scared to ask or they believed me when I told them how lucky I was to have caught it early, gotten such a good pathology report, and the surgery should have taken care of it. The reality is probably both of those and also, as someone pointed out, that most people are consumed with their own lives and problems and really don't have all that much time and concern for yours. I like it this way, though, because I've pretty much settled into the mindset that it's behind me and for the most part life has returned to normal. I don't think I'd enjoy being asked about it and reminded of it all the time as I go about that living that normality. I'm not aware of anyone avoiding me because of it, but if that happened I'd chalk it up to being one of the good things about bad times--you find out who your true friends are.

Two most uncomfortable topics, Cancer and Prostate, that people just don't wish to indulge in a conversation.

Is it appropriate then, to raise the topic when socializing with friends? I have no problem with the topic, although my better half would rather that I not get into the specific details.

While I don't expect people to fall over themselves trying to be nice to me (and I don't want them too), it is an unsettling feeling having good friends avoid me because of my cancer.

the thing i had to look at was how did i previously treat others who were sick or dying?  sad to say i came up short also so today i really work at being there for friends who are gravely ill.  i think it's pompous to say my goal is to "help others".  mostly i stay in contact, listen, and share my experience when appropriate.

ed

Again.."prostate cancer, at least it's the good kind" and He looks really good for someone with cancer!!!
I'm sorry works for me the best!

To blownsideways.......to your question. I started in april, 2011 with a PSA of 600.47; then in May I found out that my prostate was wall to wall cancer and that i had bone metastasis in lots of places. The 1st friday in June was my orchiectomy. It slowed the cancer until late Sept. then, going back up from the low of 57.00. In January, i finally learned that i have castration resistant prostate cancer and @ Stage IV. So 2012 is all about chemo and no hair and no balls and no sex and little time. So hell yes, i am declaratory to all about my life; there is little time to be discreet or coy. DEath scares people; so you never how someone you love or like is going to take the news. And some may hold you in their lives and hearts as essential to their well being, so they go to their own pain and fear first. Ironic that the cancer person has to hand hold and reach out to give aid and comfort. But this exactly what has happened to me. But also surprise folks, who wade in, even if scared to death, & find the courage and affection to embrace you and what is coming. There is no general wisdom coming from me, all i have is my personal story. And this summer i thought it was going to be over this year due to the pain in my bones. JULY was awful and with a 24 hour a day need for heavy pain relief. Now comes August 8th and Zytiga; i am cooking again and tending to my garden and taking in a movie or two. Lawless was great. When you tell the world, the world reacts and you do find out who cares and who doesn't give a flying .... IMHO early august, my PSA was over 1,500. dropping to 92. by Sept. 18th, so a respite....of what duration........who bloody knows? But i/WE are taking it. AND EVERYBODY knows, so what?