Friday Funnies

Far to serious around here today so I'll start:

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On the way back from a cub scout meeting, my grandson
innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come from
mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first
place?"

After my son hemmed and hawed a while, my grandson finally
spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up something,
Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."

Too funny!

To get a long little doggie

For the golfers...  Just got this one this morning and got a good laugh.  Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes" says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know --put me down for a five."

Andrew's story reminded me of something a work associate told me about his own sons when they were little. It was presented as a true story and I believe it is, in fact, true because my friend's account didn't end with the punchline (as I do below) but continued on to describe how difficult he found it to scold his children with a straight face when he desperately wanted to laugh.

He was meeting his sons returning from school. The younger one, Mikey, was a kindergartener and his older son, Jeff, was in third grade. When they got off the bus Mikey was glowering unhappily at his older brother who looked determined.

"Dad," Jeff said, "Mikey said the 'F' word on he bus."

My friend wasn't happy about the older boy tattling, and besides, he didn't believe him. "But Jeff," he said "I'm sure that isn't true. He's five years old. How could he know that word?"

"But he did," Jeff responded stoutly, "He said it. I heard him. Just ask him."

Mikey's eyes got big but then he nodded guiltily.

"I still don't believe it" my friend said, starting to worry "Mikey, what did you say?"

Mikey said "Oh no, dad, it's the 'F' word. It's a bad word."

My friend leaned over. "It's OK Mikey. You can whisper it. Come on..."

Mikey stepped forward, looked around and put his lips close to his dad's ear. In a tiny voice he whispered the "F" word:

"*fart*"