All this talk of weddings and the uses of water reminds me of a poem by G. K. Chesterton. (I think he styled it as s song but I've never heard it set to music.)
GKC said...
OLD Noah he had an ostrich farm and fowls on the largest scale,
He ate his egg with a ladle in an egg-cup big as a pail,
And the soup he took was Elephant Soup and the fish he took was Whale,
But they all were small to the cellar he took when he set out to sail,
And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
“I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.”
The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell blinding off the brink
As if it would wash the stars away as suds go down a sink,
The seven heavens came roaring down for the throats of hell to drink,
And Noah he cocked his eye and said, “It looks like rain, I think,
The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.”
But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod,
Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod,
And you can't get wine at a P.S.A., or chapel, or Eisteddfod,
For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God,
And water is on the Bishop's board and the Higher Thinker's shrine,
But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.
Note on the rules: The above poem uses biblical characters to make a whimsical joke about prohibition. Bearing in mind that prohibition of alcohol is not currently a widely debated political issue, I judge the poem to be neither religious nor political. I include it simply to assure cmetalman that in Rochester and on the GFMPH cruises proper care will be taken to ensure that the water does not get into the wine.