LOL on your rant!
We share the same opinions and experience. I also like the Depends for Men Shields but agree that they are too light and a bit too small. They advertise them for "drips and dribbles" so I guess one should not expect too much. They need an inbetween one between Depends Guards and Shields. Agree that Guards are too thick and bulky and not nearly wide enough. They should be shaped like the Tena. The Attends should have a better mechanism to keep them in place but I also really like wearing and I find that if I keep my briefs pulled up tight they do hold pretty well. "Also, if Buford is placed too low in Attends all the pee accumulates at the bottom and will leak sonner.
They need some good market research and a couple of focus groups to help design these things.
My Buford (your Willie) also moves around but constantly "leans left". I wonder how many of us are lefties, righties and straights (not refering to you know what). He is about the only thing about me that leans "left", politially speaking. I wonder how one can get some input to the martketing folks at the companies that make these things?