Tana Leaves: How many is too much?

Hi, my name is Kharis and I am really glad I found this forum. I know that not all of you guys are living-dead mummies such as myself, but there seem to be quite a few of us here and I think I will fit in. I've been lurking for quite a while here on the forum (lurking in the shadows is something of a specialty of mine ) but some recent threads really touched close to home and I had to jump in.

I've been on TLT3 for a long, long time. That's Tana Leaf Tea 3 (leaves per cup) each full moon (so, roughly monthly). I've been on it since 1472 BC, having started shortly after my surgery and adjuvant mummification. One of the unfortunate effects of long term TLT3 is that it tends to be kind of isolating. For one thing, I lost my tongue in the surgery (not a big deal), and for another I seldom see anyone but the high priest of Karnak (who administers my monthly treatment) and he's not much of a talker.

The priests don't really talk to me; they just mumble while they make my 'tea' -- things about three leaves keeping my heart beating and nine leaves restoring mobility -- stuff like that. My takeaway from that is that I still have a heart (some mummies don't you know -- quite a few internal organs wind up in little jar by your feet in your sarcophagus) but I'm not sure about the mobility part (don't get a lot of fiber but it hasn't been a problem.)

Lately I've been seeing a new high priest (the previous one having retired) and we have been experimenting with iTLT9 treatments in hopes I can get out and be more active. (That's an intermittent treatment with nine leaves per cup occasionally.) I guess it is working some. He's encouraged me to go out a couple of times and strangle some men who desecrated my girlfriend's tomb... and that was fine, I guess, but I wasn't really into it like I would have been back when I was really alive. Tana leaf tea leaves one a bit flat, in general. With the three leaves I was just too depressed to get out of my box. The other six leaves let me get out and do things but, candidly, I don't have that much fun.

I've tried to talk Andoheb (my new priest) into trying more leaves -- maybe twelve -- on the theory that maybe that tenth or eleventh leaf would be the one that makes me feel alive instead of being, you know, just not entirely dead. Maybe that twelfth leaf would let me check in with my girlfriend, if you know what I mean . On the other hand Tana leaf tea makes you forgetful and I am a bit vague about my surgery. I'm not sure what other organs might be pickled in the jar by my feet.

Andoheb isn't so hot on the idea of more leaves in the tea. He says that more than nine leaves in a single cup will turn me into "soulless monster" who only lives to kill and kill again. Ok, so that's not a hobby I would pick out if I had my choice, but it does sound like an enthusiasm. I haven't had an enthusiasm in a long, long time and the idea does have some appeal.

The other theory is that I might just strangle my priest and try going cold turkey on the Tana leaf thing. For thousands of years the priests have told me that the tea keeps me alive and without it I would die. But I dunno, the first part of that sounds like an exaggeration -- the tea keeps me from dying but that isn't the same thing as keeping me alive -- and the second part doesn't sound so bad. I mean, only living things can die, isn't that right? Before I could die I'd have to come back to life just a little... But I wish I could remember which parts were in the jar and which are still there under the wrappings...

So, that's my conundrum: Should I go for quality of life vs quantity of living-death? Or should I stick with the Tana leaves and try to convince the high priest to add a few more leaves to the cup to see if that helps with the cognitive and emotional side-effects?

What would you do?

-----------------------------
Age 3489 years.
Surgery 1472 BC -- tongue, misc. organs removed,
Adjuvant full body mummification, soft-tissues preserved (I hope)
Problems with left arm, left leg : they might have just gone to sleep from cramped position.
TLT3 since mummification, started iTLT9 earlier this year.

Sorry, Mel, I was seized with a fit of metaphor. I'm better now.

So here's my question: When our doctors put us on ADT it causes a number of predictable side effects, any of which, if severe enough, could cause us to question whether the benefit outweighs the bother. Right off the top of my head we get hot flashes, weight gain, bone loss, memory problems, gynecomastia (moobs), depression, apathy, loss of muscle mass, erectile dysfunction, loss of interest in sex, higher risk of cardiac problems and diabetes, mental confusion and occasional severe fits of metaphor. Some of these side effects our doctors try to fix -- remedies are offered for hot flashes, gynecomastia, bone loss, and depression -- but other side effects that are equally bothersome -- memory loss, confusion, loss of libido, ahedonia, fits of metaphor --are not generally treated but are simply considered unavoidable parts of the treatment. Men who can't deal with the brain fog or memory problems or zero libido are faced with the choice of dropping out of treatment to avoid the side effects or staying with the program and living with those limitations. A number of those problems might well be treated in an individual not on ADT but men on hormones aren't treated. Why not? Why not add a few more tana leaves to the tea and see what happens?

I found that the addition of generic Prozac was helpful with the depression but I continue to have cognitive side effects. ADT has made me moody, forgetful, vague, unfocused and given to fits of metaphor. Some of these symptoms sound like attention deficit disorder. There are treatments for that. Would they help? I think many of the treatments for ADD involve boosting dopamine in the brain. I already take drugs to increase serotonin. I vaguely understand that attempts to boost both tend to be habit-forming. Should cancer centers have psychiatrists on the payroll to manage such things?

Also, I think most of us ADT types don't like the loss of libido -- actually I am fairly sure -- and there are a very few drugs (I know of two) that are CNS-acting aphrodisiacs. The two I know are apomorphine and bremelanotide. They do have some side effects (the main use for apomorphine is as a veternary emetic to make dogs throw up things they have swallowed) but, I'd be interested to hear if they work on men on ADT.

Why aren't they looking for those extra tana leaves? Or are they?

Peter you could try to get your Dr, to prescribe Modafinil, it works to lift brain fog. i have been taking it on an as needed basis for the last month for shift work sleep disorder due to working rotating and off hour work shifts. It is a wakefulness promoting drug and not anything like an amphetamine ADHD drug. If you read on line people are taking 200 mg twice a day, I must be sensitive to it as 50 mg twice a day works wonders when needed. In your instance it would be off label use but you never know, it might work.

Allenhotep,

A golden phallus? That sounds expensive. I'm not sure my insurance carrier -- Blue Ankh/Blue Breastplate -- would pay for that. They are already cranky about the extra Tana leaves. On the other hand, I have thought that if I ever did find my phallus again, since I am not using it I might have it bronzed. Maybe that would work.

Your obedient servant,

Kharis

Steven D,

Thanks for the tip on the modafinil. I'll talk to my MO about it next time I see him. It does sound like a better, less-habit-forming alternative to amphetamine-related drugs like Ritalin. I found several discussions of its use as an adjunct to SSRI antidepressants so it is probably not contraindicated with my generic prozac.

Hand? I thought you were talking about resurrecting a different body part.

Peter, while you're talking with your doctor, you might ask for a prescription for some muscle relaxers. Flexaril works well for me, though my wife prefers Skelaxin. Mummified persons always seem to walk with a very stiff gait (that's about the only "stiff" part), though I suppose that could be caused by too much starch in their linen wrappings.

David -

Peter is just messin' with us.

Most all of us sometimes get to the point where we just have to throw up our hands, because we've gotten so tired, annoyed, frustrated, and just SICK of this ongoing blasted cancer thing, that we sometimes just have to say to ourselves "What the hell. I'm gonna have some fun with this stupid thing before it drives me NUTS."

That's all.

Just a nice guy sharing himself with us, definitely GFMPH. As a co-worker once told me, when I was pointing out the inconsistencies of a movie. " Jack, sometimes you gots to let the Art wash all over you" He was right. Thanks for that Fred. Oh and thanks for that PeterD.

LOL

If it weren't illegal I would send you a few in the mail......;-)

Is this thread a joke? Tana leaves? I must not be getting what is going on in this thread, is it some kind of comedy or a parody? Reading the starting post is confusing my literal thinking habit, doesn't make sense, or it is a joke. Can anyone clear up my confusion?

David

David from France (the Coneheads) .

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